Disney just wasn't enough fun for Alexis. She HAD to add a little side game to her play. It's called "How Many Things Can I Find to Fear." She's been playing it all week, and I'm pretty sure she'll be making a stop by Ripley's to get her world record certified. The answer to the game is A LOT. Some examples:
Robots: Robots of any size, shape, or form must maintain a 30-foot distance. Really, not a big deal at Walt Disney World. Oh, wait . . .
Self-flushing toilets: It's an old phobia, and one that I have managed to work around by memorizing the location of every old school public toilet in the greater Pittsburgh area. But Guess what . . . so far I've found TWO old school toilets in a Disney park. TWO. Good thing the kid can hold pee better than anyone I've ever known.
Birds: Another old phobia, and one that really isn't a big deal at home. Lots of people are willing to kick pigeons out of Alexis' way, but those people aren't here to kick the ducks, geese, cranes, and every other kind of bird that hangs out at the parks. Drop a french fry and twenty of them will magically appear out of nowhere to eat it. Make sure you give Alexis a 30-minute head start before you drop the fry, though, because she will flip the hell out if she sees a single bird.
People in costumes: We're talked about this one, but I didn't mention that it includes the "real" people like Cinderella. Oh, and by the way, I have never seen as many characters as I have on this trip, and I used to know their appearance schedules. GOOD TIMES!
Boats: Technically the issue is the horn on the big boat that takes people to the Magic Kingdom, but that phobia spread like wild fire and already seems to now include all boats. Even row boats. That she's not in.
Fireworks: Totally not a problem at all because Disney? Doesn't like fireworks. Nope, not at all. Ever.
The Dark: Funny thing. Disney Magic can do a lot of things. It can make extra buses appear when there are far too many people waiting to get on one tiny bus. It can make free replacement fries drop out of the sky when you accidentally knock a brand new container of them on the ground. It can make a little girl forget just how much she fears people in costumes. It cannot stop the sun from setting. Maybe Tinkerbell needs to bust out some ultra-power pixie dust.
Talking trash cans: Do you know how much I love the talking trash can in Tomorrowland? A LOT. Too bad I won't be getting to feed it some yummy trash.
The tiles in the shape of the evil step-sisters inside Cinderella's castle: I'm so not kidding. We can't walk through the castle because "the bad girls" will get us. Oye.
Some rides: I'd tell you exactly which rides are too scary for Toddler consumption, but that changes minute by minute. She LOVES Pooh Ride. She HATES Pooh Ride. She LOVES Pooh Ride. She HATES Pooh Ride. Every time we stand in a line, it's like playing Russian Roulette.
That's not even the whole list of current phobias. That's just the ones that Mr. Husband and I have been exploiting for our own amusement.
C'mon, you know you would do it, too.
(Some Teacups love/hate)