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Fear This

Disney just wasn't enough fun for Alexis. She HAD to add a little side game to her play. It's called "How Many Things Can I Find to Fear." She's been playing it all week, and I'm pretty sure she'll be making a stop by Ripley's to get her world record certified. The answer to the game is A LOT. Some examples:

Robots: Robots of any size, shape, or form must maintain a 30-foot distance. Really, not a big deal at Walt Disney World. Oh, wait . . .

Self-flushing toilets
: It's an old phobia, and one that I have managed to work around by memorizing the location of every old school public toilet in the greater Pittsburgh area. But Guess what . . . so far I've found TWO old school toilets in a Disney park. TWO. Good thing the kid can hold pee better than anyone I've ever known.

Birds: Another old phobia, and one that really isn't a big deal at home. Lots of people are willing to kick pigeons out of Alexis' way, but those people aren't here to kick the ducks, geese, cranes, and every other kind of bird that hangs out at the parks. Drop a french fry and twenty of them will magically appear out of nowhere to eat it. Make sure you give Alexis a 30-minute head start before you drop the fry, though, because she will flip the hell out if she sees a single bird.

People in costumes: We're talked about this one, but I didn't mention that it includes the "real" people like Cinderella. Oh, and by the way, I have never seen as many characters as I have on this trip, and I used to know their appearance schedules. GOOD TIMES!

Boats: Technically the issue is the horn on the big boat that takes people to the Magic Kingdom, but that phobia spread like wild fire and already seems to now include all boats. Even row boats. That she's not in.

Fireworks: Totally not a problem at all because Disney? Doesn't like fireworks. Nope, not at all. Ever.

The Dark
: Funny thing. Disney Magic can do a lot of things. It can make extra buses appear when there are far too many people waiting to get on one tiny bus. It can make free replacement fries drop out of the sky when you accidentally knock a brand new container of them on the ground. It can make a little girl forget just how much she fears people in costumes. It cannot stop the sun from setting. Maybe Tinkerbell needs to bust out some ultra-power pixie dust.

Talking trash cans: Do you know how much I love the talking trash can in Tomorrowland? A LOT. Too bad I won't be getting to feed it some yummy trash.

The tiles in the shape of the evil step-sisters inside Cinderella's castle
: I'm so not kidding. We can't walk through the castle because "the bad girls" will get us. Oye.

Some rides: I'd tell you exactly which rides are too scary for Toddler consumption, but that changes minute by minute. She LOVES Pooh Ride. She HATES Pooh Ride. She LOVES Pooh Ride. She HATES Pooh Ride. Every time we stand in a line, it's like playing Russian Roulette.

That's not even the whole list of current phobias. That's just the ones that Mr. Husband and I have been exploiting for our own amusement.

C'mon, you know you would do it, too.

(Some Teacups love/hate)

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Reader Comments (22)

Sounds like one beautiful little princess is on overload. She is going to be weary of everything until she goes back to her old familiar schedule and sleeps in her own safe bed.

Glad you are finding some way to have fun! :)

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSue

Sometimes I wonder at God's sense of humor. You Who Love Disney is blessed with the Child Who Fears Disney. The irony.

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

Sounds like she is carrying an overload... but i can relate. (A secret to the self flush potty- great if you have two who are terrified of them- put your finger- or carry a bib to put- over the sensor, no more self flush monsters. (We have no "old style toilets" any where near where we live, and this has saved us several times)

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSpoiledBrat

I really don't get why Disney would have all self flushing toilets?! Don't they know that is a common fear among children? Heck, I'm not too pleased when one flushes before I'm done either.

That is how I would look if I went on the teacups (the 2nd picture).

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I'd totally be getting a talking trash can in my house and using it to keep her on track!! God, I'm evil!!

Hallie :)

Self-flushing potties? Check
Fireworks? Check
Boats? Check

Add any loud noise/music (again, something Disney isn't known for. Snort) and I'm pretty sure you're related...We had to order special shooting-range type ear muffs for our young 'uns for our last trip (and believe it or not, they come in pink!). If you'd like, I can e-mail you the photo because you will laugh your butt off at the thought of them wearing them at every.single. show/parade/fireworks display/loud ride. Sheesh.

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mommy

@SpoiledBrat--She won't even give them a try. I think she has infrared-seeking eyes that can spot that tiny red dot the minute she enters the stall. She won't even get within five feet so I can prove that they won't reach out and bite her.

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby

Oh, sooo funny. The poor thing is virtually surrounded in the Happiest Place on Earth!!

I was going to suggest Post-It's for the self-flushers (they had a post on Parent Hacks about this) but if she's already wise to the infrared... You have one smart cookie there!

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterbessieviola

Have you tried putting a post-it note over the infared toilet light? That way it won't flush and scare the crap out of her.....

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Thinks I would cry and lose it. My Love for Disney would make me want to leave my child at home so I could have fun!

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTTG

You're breaking out the second picture for prom night, right?

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThree

FUN!!!! We went to DW when my brother was three (I was eight) and he freaked out about every furry animal. I will verify that there are like a million there!

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPunkyBean

Personally, I'm a little scared of self-flusing toilets myself. I totally got your back on that one A.

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElaine A.

I have to agree with Elaine...hate the self is like a little game they like to play with you; when will they flush this time?

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterOur Crooked Tree

man, i love your blog. i just can't tell you enough. the disney stories are so great. i'm lovin it.


March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKell

Ouch, Disneyworld is a jungle if you are scared of people in costumes. So she probably didn't enjoy the parades much, right?

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElisa

@Elisa--She LOVED the parades so, so, so much. All the characters stay outside of that invisible bubble she builds. She adores all the characters, she just doesn't want them to come too close.

March 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby

Robot fears? Clearly the little one reads my blog:)

March 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWill

self-flushing toilets are the work of the devil.

just sayin'

March 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe planet of janet

Self flushing toilets freak me out too. lol! Who knew Disney could be so scary ;-)

March 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHeatherY

If she's afraid of self-flushing toilets, you better make sure she stays the hell away from the bidet ...

March 19, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrannyhead

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