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Sunday
Jun212009

It's Baaaaaaack

It's been a long time since I last mentioned the Saltwater Fish Tank of Horrors, and for good reason--nothing has been happening with it. Ever since the drama with the ghost crab, the domestic violence between the clown fish, and the tank itself exploding, not much has happened. I figured that it was the actual acrylic that made up the tank that was jinxed since the replacement tank has been pretty drama-free. Sure, there was the time that the Emerald Crab disappeared and I found him stuck in the filter system a few months later (alive and well), but other than that? Nada. Zip. Zilch.

Part of the lack of drama could certainly be attributed to the tank finally settling down from the initial set-up, and to the fact that I stopped paying attention to it. Short of cleaning it every couple of weeks, I wasn't doing much with it. The worms were tamed by a few carefully selected shrimp, but I hadn't even added any new fish in a very long time. Until a few weeks ago, that is.

We happened to wander into a local fish store, and the poopfaces just HAD to go and order two of the fish that I have always wanted. They had a Green Clown Goby and a Jawfish, and the prices were really low. Of course I had to buy them, even though it's ridiculously idiotic to go and add more fish when we have to move the tank in a month.

All was well. Alexis named the Green Clown Terminator (I can't make this stuff up) and the Jawfish was still trying to earn a name. Everybody was eating and happy and generally thriving. Was.

Today I figured I would give it a good cleaning and try to stack the rocks a little better. The Jawfish is a sand dweller and will bury itself in a little hole, only sticking its head out to look around. However, ours had taken to hiding in the rocks. I thought maybe if I made his beach a little bigger, he would amuse me with some shenanigans.

I started pulling the rocks out and carefully stacking them in a plastic storage tub. I hadn't actually taken inventory of where all the fish and shrimp were hiding because they always figure out what to do when I get all crazy with the aquarium cleaning. As I grabbed the largest rock and set it on the towel next to me, I heard a noise.

Flflflflflflflk.

I had no idea what it was and kept on cleaning.

Flflflflflflflk.

Then it dawned on me--there was a fish hiding inside one of the caves in the rock, and it was literally flopping around like a fish out of water. I quickly picked up the rock and stuck it back in the water, silently pleading with the fish to not go flopping out of the rock and on to the floor. Fortunately, I didn't even catch sight of who was flopping around all pissy.

When I finally finished the cleaning and restacking, I plugged in the pump. Nothing happened--the water remained calm. I tried scraping the pump's outlet and dislodged a little muck. Still, the water sat unmoving. I had no idea what the problem was, so I started dismantling the pieces. As I yanked one tube from another, I braced myself for a shower. The pump on that tank is pretty powerful, and I've had the pleasure of dancing in a salty rain when I accidentally bumped it off track once before.

Nothing happened.

Finally I reached down and pulled the entire pump out so I could try figuring out what was blocking the water flow.

And saw the problem.

Somehow, some way, the Jawfish had managed to squeeze through a very tiny opening and found its way into the small part of the tank that housed the pump. Even better, he had the genius idea to get really close to the inlet.

It wasn't pretty. The fish's head was turned all the way around so that the eyes were facing the same direction as the tail. And did you know that fish can get hickeys? Oh, he had a hickey. A big red circle made it real obvious that the fish had gotten stuck to the inlet, tried to fight away from it, but then died a real . . . uh . . . sucky death.

This had better not be a sign of things to come.

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Reader Comments (23)

Poor fishy. :(

I kinda wish you'd taken the picture, though.

June 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrinity

I'm calling peta. It'll take their minds off the fly.

June 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Poor thing probably committed suicide bacause you didn't even love it enough to give it a name. Tisk. Tisk. Tisk. But a picture would have been good... ;o) xoxo Damama T

June 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

As sorry as I am for the fish, I've missed your tank of horrors.

June 21, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebbie Yost

OMG..I have similar horror stories about my tank...including a niger trigger who suddenly, after 2+ years of living peacefully with his tank mates, ATE Nemo's tail! That earned him a nice comfy small home of his own. Kudos to you for starting a tank here, thoug...Hubby and I NEvER EVER would have done it if we had not lived in a warm, sunny, ocean state where fish were cheap and experts plentiful! Even then we had our share of disaters!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChickLit LIsa

PS..Nemo is doing fine...nice new tail

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChickLitLisa

I'm a little emotional right now. That poor fish is . . . fish-tory.

*sniff*

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaski

Oooo. So sorry. How hideous.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

fish. *shudder*

i HATE fish.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterthe planet of janet

YES! The fishtank of horrors is back!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrannyhead

That tank creeps me out

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPam

Why do I always think of Finding Nemo when I read these posts? ; )

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElaine A.

I had to give up my fishies when I moved across country. It was a very sad moment. I keep thinking about starting over, and then I remember the joys like your adventure here... Thinking Twice... I bet the cats would love to have them back though.
Love, Love, LOVE the pic of Alexis. Precious.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDina

Oh no! I can't even keep a freaking beta fish alive for 6 months. I'm impressed with your fishy acumen!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJill

I'm not sure why I'm giggling over fish hickeys when death and carnage abound. But I am.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

I hate to think of what might happen to a fish in my house!!!

BEAUTIFUL photo!

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDanielle

What a terrible way to go. I guess you will have to name your next one so he won't commit fishicide.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEllyn

Uh...EW? And also, how does Alexis know about Terminator?

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjen

@Jen--I have NOOO freakin' clue. I've been drilling her on that all day.

June 22, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBurgh Baby

Oh - I've missed the fishtank of horrors!! It reminds me regularly why we do not have fish any longer! :) Sorry about the poor fish's fate!

June 23, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwendy

Isn't the saying ... it comes in three's, not that I wishing any bad luck or ill will towards that tank.

Oh ... I'll shut up now. The thing is out there in the universe now.

Quick, everyone (including me) knock on wood!

Sigh!

Oh ... and Alexis is stunning - STUNNING in this picture. I LOVEs it so much!

Oh, that's AWFUL! (But punny - sucky death? hahahaha...ahem. Sorry.)

Kinda makes the filter scene in Nemo a wee bit more dramatic.

June 30, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKatie in MA

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