You Don't Have To Play To Win

People look at me like marbles have just poured out of my ears when I say this, but I really truly do not walk around with my cell phone glued to my face. Sometimes it seems that way, but the reality is that I very often have no clue where it is.

Like, really, no clue.

I leave the house without it ALL. THE. TIME., which sort of defeats the purpose of having it, but whatever. It's only important to me when I think about it, which only happens when I see it, which isn't all that often.

That's how it is possible that Alexis can be holed up in some random part of the house clutching her phone (which is actually my old iPhone 3s -- it functions as an iPod Touch for her these days) and texting me like crazy. She uses a text app that requires wifi, so she pretty much has to be home to blast me with messages.

And HOOBOY does she blast me with messages from time-to-time.

The other night she started her usual craziness with a simple "I love you," but she quickly escalated to sending me photograph after photograph of herself. She's a pro at selfies, especially if the selfies involve a cat or dog. She sent a total of six photos before it occurred to her that I wasn't saying anything back.

I wasn't saying anything back because my phone was nowhere to be found and I wasn't aware that I should be looking for it.

The one-sided conversation took a bit of a turn once Alexis realized I wasn't answering. She texted:

She followed that up with the most ridiculous photo ever. And yet, I continued to not answer. Because I suck. And because she didn't tell me that I should be staring at my phone.

My total and complete lack of response got under her skin. She decided I must be playing a game and she was determined that she would win.

Except, she didn't. Obviously.

Whoever said you have to play to win clearly never heard of the ignoring game.

The Time I Discovered She Does Listen To Me

When you're 8 years old, magic takes the form of a mysterious and unexpected envelope bearing your name. The magic grows legs when the envelope contains a birthday card and a little bit of money.

"Mom, can we go to the mall? PLEEEEASE!" the 8-year old pleaded.

I'm not one to ruin the magic, so of course I agreed. Off to the mall we ran with Alexis tightly clutching her purse and her newly gifted $25. She requested a specific mall, so I assumed I knew what would happen when we began to walk from store-to-store.

I was wrong.

While I was certain the money would be swapped for some magic at Justice or Ruum, Alexis instead asked if we could walk a bit further. Just a few more steps to a store she had only been in once or twice, but apparently an impression had been made.

Abercrombie. The kid version, which, yes, it does exist. It carries sizes 8-16 for little girls.

I KNOW. I KNOW. It seems like a terrible idea, but I have discovered that buried in the obnoxiousness of the overpriced, loud, and ridiculously sexually charged store, there are some gems. In fact, Alexis constantly wears a pink with white polka-dotted sheer shirt that I found on clearance there. Even on clearance it was a bit expensive, but she treasures that shirt SO much.

Eventually she will outgrow the shirt, but only after showing it much love. When that day happens, I'll take it to a resale shop and recoup nearly every penny I paid. It's a pattern of behavior I've fallen into -- I buy high-end clearance items and then sell them for nearly what I paid. It's my own very special form of magic.

But Alexis had her own magic that day. She continued to clutch her purse as she walked from rack-to-rack. I stood back and let her explore, wondering what she thought she could get for $25 at THAT store.

She found them. The jeans. She found the jeans she had spotted a month before when we had walked through the same store. The jeans had been moved from a rack at the front of the store to a table near the back, but she found them.

"Momma, are these on sale?" she asked.

I swallowed my beam of pride. "Ummm, yeah. Actually they are," I told her as I glanced at the sign on the table. "They're $20, see?" I said as I pointed.

TWENTY DOLLARS. FOR JEANS. AT ABERCROMBIE. They were originally marked $80, which BWAHAHAHA! That's just funny right there.

The beam of pride threatened to escape as Alexis dug through the pile and found her size. "Good!" she said. "I have enough money left to get a shirt, too!"

I stood there in awe as Alexis found an entire rack of shirts each marked under $10. "Momma, can I borrow $3? I want this shirt, but it's $8."

Obviously she has no problem with math, and even less of a problem depending on the Bank of Mom. That's OK, though, because $28. SHE FOUND AN ENTIRE OUTFIT AT ABERCROMBIE FOR $28. I handed Alexis $5 and waited as she paid.

There are lessons we all try to teach our kids, but we really can't be sure if they "get it" or not. I guess now I can safely say that Alexis does get my philosophy towards shopping -- find the best bargains at better stores.

But that's not all.

The real magic happened as we were walking out of the store. "Mom, I like that store, but they have the dumbest bags EVER. Those boys need to button their shirts."

Yes, yes they do. And ... BAM! Two lessons mastered in one day.

(But, seriously, Abercrombie Kids. If you're going to carry sizes 8-16, lose the sex appeal on the bags thing. It's not the right place or time.)

The Glow Party Part Two: The Supplies

The absolute very best thing about having your 7-year old tell you that she wants her 8th birthday party to be a "glow" party is that you get to buy super fun stuff.

Like black lights.

It's crazy how cheap white streamers look amazing if you just shine some black lights around the place. MAGIC!

But that was just the beginning of the glow fun. I was very determined to do all of my shopping on Amazon this year (because LAZY), so lots of links coming. (I'm using affiliate links, which means if you click them and buy something, I might make a penny or two. Literally. It really is only pennies, but oh well! It can't hurt!)

There were several hundred glow sticks around the place. I stuck them inside neon balloons, gave them to the kids to make jewelry, and stuck them in containers all over the room for decoration.

 

Which turned out to be a FANTASTIC idea because they kept the herd of kids happy for a very long time.

I didn't really expect that, by the way. I was certain they would require entertainment, so for this year's party, I planned some projects. First of all, I had canvas tote bags and fabric paint for each kid. They spent a ton of time carefully decorating each bag in a unique and fun way.

I counted that as party favors, so I got off pretty cheap in that department.

And then there were the glitter tattoos.

I had the basic glitter tattoo kit plus some extra black light sensitive glitter. The plan was that while the kids were decorating the tote bags, I would carefully apply one glitter tattoo to each person. Nice and neat and orderly, you know?

That's not what happened.

What happened is that I walked five feet to hand someone a paper towel and a coup took place. Six little girls took over the glitter station and I never got it back. They gave unlimited tattoos to everyone and spread glitter EVERYWHERE.

But.

They were super happy. and it all washed up just fine. So. I guess the coup sort of worked out for everyone.

The tote bags, glow sticks, and glitter tattoos were plenty to keep 15 kids happy for nearly three hours, which HOORAY! But, it did help that there were random black light reactive things all around. For example, the tableware glowed.

And it glowed REALLY well. The kids were hugely amused by it. We can pretend I wasn't, but I was. I mean, C'MON! How cool are those forks?

The glowy tableware included this plasticware, these cups, and these plates. I used plain paper plates for larger plates when we had pizza just so I could save a buck or two. The glowy stuff was awesome, but it wasn't as inexpensive as plain stuff.

Lastly, I had a few extra special balloons around the room.

The little aliens came with LED lights inside, which, by the way, are STILL glowing. It's three days later. The price on Amazon has gone crazy high, for what it's worth. I paid $5 for a pack of four. If you go hunting for them, check Walmart. They get them in stock as well.

And that's about all it took to throw a glow party. I mean, there were black plastic tablecloths covering the windows and tables so that the glow would be stronger, but that really is it. Some glow sticks, glitter, balloons, streams, and plasticware and we had ourselves quite the little party.

The hightlight, though, came AFTER the party. If ever there was any doubt as to whether or not Alexis appreciates the efforts, that doubt can be destroyed by the text that she sent me after the party ended and everything was cleaned up.

So, yeah, she can pretty much talk me into throwing a party every weekend.