The Monsters Around Us

I don't know how the conversation started because, well, have you ever talked to a 7-year old? There's no telling why you're talking about anything. Ever. At all.

Anyway.

How it started, I don't know, but somehow Alexis decided to turn the conversation towards monsters while we were having dinner. We were on our own while the husband was at some concert. Which, by the way, I gave Alexis her choice of any restaurant in town. "Pick something special that we don't usually get," I told her.

Eat 'n Park. She picked Eat 'n Park.

Please send her Official Yinzer card in the mail. I do believe she has earned it.

ANYWAY (and I mean it this time).

The topic of conversations was monsters. For some reason, Alexis thought it was very important that she compile her list of the scariest monsters. I set my phone down and stopped trying to track the happenings in Boston as she explained her thoughts.

"Well, the scariest monster is Elmo," she said.

It wasn't what I expected, but I liked that answer. A lot.

"And the second scariest monster is Dora." YES. INDEED. I might have let her have #1, but still.

"Then it's Yo Gabba Gabba," she continued. I couldn't argue her thoughts there. At all.

"Annnnd ... " she drew out her sentence. "The fourth scariest monster on Earth is Maroon 5."

Ladies and gentlemen, could we please work on creating a world where those really are the scariest monsters we deal with?

Words Not Required

Copyrighted, Trademarked, and Totally Her Idea

'Tis the season to throw tadpoles in the pond, so Alexis and I made a quick trip out to our favorite fish store. And by "quick trip" I mean we drove halfway across town because of course we did. It seems like it doesn't matter where I want to go, it will wind up requiring a couple of tunnels and several bridges to get there.

As we were leaving the store with some tadpoles and a few bonus fish tucked safely in a water-filled bag in the front seat, Alexis and I started to talk. And by "Alexis and I" I mean "Alexis" because Seven. Seven doesn't let other people get a word in edgewise when it's not in the mood to listen. Seven talks and talks and talks and hey! Did you know that there was a kid in Alexis' class who wasn't born in the United States? I did! Because I have heard about it 14,928 times!

I do love her enthusiasm. I do. Even when my ears are ringing.

She jumped from topic to topic, weaving a complicated series of short stories. I listened intently as I drove. Truly. These days Alexis is full of AMAZING one-liners, and I don't want to miss a single one of them. She told me all about how there is a boy in her class who is super fun to hang out with because he tells good jokes. As she gushed and gushed about how great he is, I cringed just a little because OF COURSE I DID. Seven is supposed to think boys have cooties, thank you very much.

I needn't have worried, by the way. She ended that short story by telling me that he's lots of fun, but they can't really be friends because he likes the New England Patriots. "Can you believe that, mom?" she asked with dismay peppering her words.

One smart cookie, that one.

Really, though, the thing I want to remember from that drive and from that long series of short stories that Alexis told back-to-back-to-back has to do with the radio. As we were driving down the road, she commented that it was cool how the radio had played a Subway commercial just as we were passing Subway.

One thing led to another and another and before I knew it, Alexis had decided that when she grows up, she's going to invent a car that tells the radio station where you are so that it can play commercials that are about places near you.

She's a freakin' genius.

And I'm writing it here because when somebody else makes millions off of the idea, I'll be able to prove that it was seven-year old Alexis' idea first.