I Got Your Kryptonite Right Here

Alexis was one of those ridiculously active fetus types. There was much rolling and kicking and OMG THOSE ARE MY LUNGS AND I NEED THEM that happened all the way up until about three seconds before she was born. After that, it took me about seven seconds to figure out why she never sat still -- she was trying to figure out how to twirl my hair while staying in the womb.

I'm not kidding.

The kid wrapped her tiny newborn fingers around the ends of my hair immediately after she was born. I have spent the past 7+ years trying to chase those chubby little fingers away.

That's to say, if Alexis is sitting anywhere near me, she has her fingers tangled in my hair. ALWAYS. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS.

I'm sure that sounds quite adorable from where you're sitting, but remember that thing where the kid doesn't sleep and never has? She twirls my hair even at night when she's not really sleeping. Which means I'm not really sleeping. Which means nobody is sleeping. WAAAAH!

Obviously, I thought the hair twirly thing was cute for about a week and then lost patience with it. Seven years later, it's the fastest way for Alexis to get me to bite her head off. I try to be patient, but I fail miserably. I tried asking nicely. I tried yelling. I tried begging. I tried sobbing like a baby. NOTHING worked to get the kid to keep her hands to herself.

Until this past weekend.

There was some bribery and shenanigans involved in this whole thing, but that's not the part that matters.

 

I straightened Alexis' hair and let her keep it straightened all weekend. She paid a price for it, so whatever. Everybody was happy.

But with her hair straight, it became really obvious really fast that she needs her ends trimmed. She really does have exactly my hair, but with curls, so that means her hair is super brittle and the ends split easily. I kinda sorta get obsessed with split ends, and she kinda sorta really doesn't want a hair cut right now, so I fixated on those split ends and started tugging at them and twisting them and generally staring at them.

I have issues. I know. I don't much care.

When I started tugging at the ends, Alexis started to get annoyed. I grabbed hold of that annoyed and ran with it. I twirled and tugged and HEY, KID. TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME.

Alexis flipped her lid. And then some. "Leave my hair alone!" she wailed.

Over and over again. Because I refused to stop. "Come here my preshusssss!"

Earlier tonight when Alexis sat down on the couch with me and began twirling my hair, I reached up and started twirling hers. I haven't seen her since. Coincidence?

Nope!

I just finally found her kryptonite.

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There are a whole bunch of giveaways currently going on and I have a handful more that will be going live this week. Keep an eye on the Review page for the shenanigans.

Currently running:

Easter dinner and five gift cards from Whole Foods (Pittsburgh only)

$100 CVS gift card

Another $100 CVS gift card

One last $100 CVS gift card

And a fairy garden starter kit

Road Trips Are Where The Memories Are Made

There are things that people tell you when they find out you are expecting a baby. Then there are things people SHOULD tell you when you are expecting a baby. They tell you, "Sleep now while you can!" but they SHOULD tell you, "Sleep now because you will NEVER EVER sleep again!" People tell you, "Say goodbye to being able to do whatever you want whenever you want!" They SHOULD tell you, "Hey! You can go on vacation all you want, but you better make sure your destination is within a six-hour radius."

Or is that just us?

Alexis came equipped with a ticking time bomb. She will happily soldier through road trips, but only for six hours. The minute we cruise past that six-hour mark, the cranky starts. When she was tiny, that cranky took the form of inconsolable crying. Now that she's older, it takes the form of endless whining. Regardless. Six hours. Get there or listen to her turn into Grumpy McGrumpster.

It's a really good thing we happen to live in Pittsburgh. That six-hour radius can get us to some amazing places. In the past few years, we have road-tripped to:

~ Visit family here and there.

~ Get away from all signs of civilization.

~ Ride bikes along miles and miles of wooded wilderness.

~ Find adventure in a big city.

~ Ride roller coasters up and down.

~ Sit quietly on a beach sipping a cool drink.

~ Explore an insanely huge Christmas store.

~ Dine at a tiny little diner with some amazing food.

~ Swim just feet from a stunning waterfall.

~ Enjoy the company of thousands of other people as we cheered our team on to victory.

We have road tripped to twelve different states with Alexis buckled safely into a car seat. She has experienced a lifetime worth of adventure in just seven years.

And yet. AND YET.

There is one road trip she remembers better than any other. It's the road trip that she mentions every few months as she wistfully remembers the sock.

Yes, THE sock.

It has been well over four years since a toddler Alexis stuck her sock-covered hand out of a window just west of Columbus. It has been well over four years since that sock blew away and was abandoned in the middle of the highway. It has been well over four years since Alexis first lost her cool because TURN AROUND AND GET THE SOCK, PEOPLE.

She remembers THE sock each and every time we venture to Indiana to visit family. Each and every time we drive through Columbus, she somehow remembers the exact spot where the sock ran away in the rain. She asks us to pull over and she begs us to find THE sock.

I have looked for a replacement sock. There is no such thing. Only THE sock will do because apparently it is the most magical and fantastic sock in the whole wide world.

When Alexis is all grown up with kids of her own, I'm going to tell her about karma and about how she will probably never sleep again. I will also tell her about time limits on road trips and how they don't really matter. The important thing about road trips is that you have fun traveling the highway and then have fun again when you reach your destination. It's the together part of the road trip that is critical, really.

And I'll tell her that socks that blow away as you're traveling down the highway at 70 mph are worth turning around to retrieve.

This post is part of BlogHer's Family Fun on Four Wheels editorial series, made possible by Mazda CX-9.

Carrot Cake Cupcakes

I ran out to the grocery store for one thing and ended up with an entire list. That's how it always  works, you know. "I'm running to get butter!" leads to me getting texts that say things like, "Could you grab cat litter, too?"

Cat litter leads to dog treats leads to lunch meat leads to milk and before you know it, the words "Carrot Cake" are staring at me.

So I made carrot cake.

Apparently, it was all Alexis' idea. She has been trying to think of foods we can make for Easter. It's a short game of random association to go from Easter to bunnies to carrots to carrot cake, so I guess that makes carrot cake an Easter food. I'm not going to argue with an excuse to eat carrot cake. EVER.

Technically I made Carrot Cake Cupcakes, obviously, but that's only because I love carrot cake a little too much. I would have eaten an entire carrot cake in one sitting. Making cupcakes makes it possible to unload a dozen or so on coworkers, leaving me to pig out on half as much.

Until I make another batch, that is.

This recipe is adapted from here.

Carrot Cake Cupcakes

2 1/4 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons cinnamon
3 large eggs
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil
3/4 cup buttermilk (I don't keep buttermilk on hand, so I used 3/4 cup skim milk plus 1 teaspoon lemon juice -- put them in a cup together and let them sit for at least one minute. The milk will curdle and will work just fine as a substitute.)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups finely grated carrots (I used baby carrots, but any carrots will work.)
1 8-oz can crushed pineapple (Drain off the excess juice, but don't stress about it. Just get that stuff at the top of the can.)
1 cup chopped pecans

Note: There are no raisins in this recipe because RAISINS DO NOT BELONG IN CARROT CAKE. Ahem. ;-)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place cupcake liners in your pans. This recipe makes about 2 1/2 dozen cupcakes, so plan accordingly.

2. Stir together flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon in a medium bowl.

3. Use an electric mixer to combine the eggs, sugar, vegetable oil, milk, and vanilla extract at low speed in a separate large bowl.

4. Add flour mixture to your large bowl. Mix at low speed until everything is happy.

5. Fold in carrots, pineapple, and pecans.

6. Use a measuring cup to scoop cake mix into the cupcake liners. This cake doesn't rise very much, so fill the cupcake liners about 3/4 full.

7. Bake at 350 degrees for 22 to 25 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean when you stab it into a cupcake.

8. Allow to cool.

9. Ice with a cream cheese icing. This one is perfect for the job, but double the vanilla extract just for fun.