Finding Inspiration in the Fishtank of Horrors

An out-of-the-ordinary motion nagged at the edges of my consciousness, forcing me to turn my head and take a step towards the disruption. As a cloud of sand settled, I saw it. A tiny little hermit crab had tumbled from its perch high atop the rocks and was stuck on its back in the middle of the sandy aquarium bottom.

The little crab poked its legs out of its shell and reached to the right. Finding nothing, it quickly rushed back into its shell. Moments later, it poked its legs out of its shell and reached to the left. The results were the same -- it found nothing.

It was stuck squarely on its backside.

Belly, the Maroon Clownfish that is insistent that she will die alone, began to hover. She's the same fish that has driven many others to suicide, but only in the instances when she has failed to murder her tank neighbors. She tolerates crabs, but only barely. As she darted to and fro looking for an opportunity to strike, the crab stayed hidden in its shell. Word clearly has gotten around the neighborhood that she can't be trusted.

I briefly considered helping the crab, but thought better of it. Instead, I settled in to watch the show. The crab cautiously tried leaning to the left, and then the right, and then the left again, over and over, again and again. Each and every time it was met with failure as it stayed there on the bottom of the faux-ocean floor stuck squarely on its back. It tried and it tried and it tried, but it just couldn't find a way to rock itself free of that rut.

Just as I began to reach for the net so that I could flip the crab over, another crab began barreling across the sand. I'm not sure if the little things can see or not, but I suspect not. They tend to barge seemingly blindly around, crashing into things and shoving things out of their way all of the time.

As that crab barreled across the sand, it sensed that it was near something foreign and slowed down, and then came to a complete stop. It stood perfectly still for just a moment, and then gently reached forward and carefully pushed the upside-down crab just a little. That little nudge created just enough momentum for the stuck crab to free itself. It quickly flipped over and took off in the opposite direction, seemingly forgetting all about the conundrum of moments before.

I'm going to spend the rest of the week looking for people who just need a little nudge. Thanks for the idea, crabs.

Lemon Curd Coffee Cake

I'm not proud of it, but sometimes I kill stuff. Unintentionally, of course. (Mostly. We will not speak of what happens to stinkbugs around these parts.)

Anyway.

Once upon a time, I had a Meyer Lemon tree growing in a pot on our deck. One winter, I kinda forgot to slide it indoors and the Meyer Lemon tree was no more. A moment of sadness, please ...

I miss that tree. I only ever got one or two lemons off of it, but still. The novelty of it all was fantastic.

So when Alexis spotted a bag of Meyer Lemons at the grocery store last week and asked to buy them so she could make lemonade, I quickly agreed and then grabbed two more bags. Apparently, they are in season because the bags were only $2 each, which is pretty darn good for the little lemons that you can eat.

(Seriously, you can. They still very much so taste like regular lemons, but they don't have that bitter sourness that reaches out and bites you. Meyer Lemons are lemons without the evil cackle.)

With so many Meyer Lemons on hand, this became the week of Making All The Lemon Things. There was lemonade and lemon curd and did I mention the Lemon Coffee Cake? No? Well, I should.

I should mention it because OMG HOME RUUUUUN.

It lasted less than 24 hours. Then the second one disappeared even faster. That's an excellent sign that a recipe was a win.

I Frankensteined this recipe from a couple of sources, but the end result most closely resembles this one.

This is a true coffee cake in that it's dense and not very sweet. The lemon plays the starring role, which if you ask me, is exactly how it should be.

Any kind of lemon would work, but Meyer Lemons are extra happy little lemons. I swear it. If you decide to try it with regular lemons, keep in mind that Meyer Lemons are about 2/3 the size of a regular lemon, so you should down-size the ingredients accordingly.

Lemon Curd Coffee Cake

Lemon Curd
Zest from 6 Meyer Lemons
1 1/2 cups sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
6 eggs
1/2 cup lemon juice (the 6 Meyer Lemons should get you close enough)
1/4 teaspoon salt

1. Place the zest in a food processor with the sugar. Pulse until the zest is finely minced.

2. Cream the butter in a medium mixing bowl.

3. Slowly add the sugar/lemon zest to the butter and mix well.

4. Add the eggs, one at a time, while continuing to mix.

5. Gradually add the lemon juice and salt.

6. Pour everything into a medium saucepan and heat over low heat, stirring constantly. The Lemon Curd will thicken when it reaches about 170 degrees. It takes about ten minutes for me to get it to thicken. If you see any signs of the Lemon Curd starting to boil, remove it from the heat immediately. It's done, I promise.

7. Place the Lemon Curd in the refrigerator while you work on the rest of the Lemon Curd Coffee Cake. You aren't going to use it all, by the way, so start brain-storming how you are going to pour it over all sorts of fun stuff.

Streusel
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
3 tablespoons cold butter, cubed
1/2 cup flaked coconut (optional, but I think it makes it all better)

1. Combine the flour and sugar in a small butter.

2. Cut in the butter. I don't have a fancy mixer, so I use my hands and just squish it all around until I have a chunky texture. It doesn't have to be perfectly mixed--just mostly combined.

3. Stir in the coconut.

4. Set aside.

Batter
2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 cup cold butter, cubed
1/2 cup vanilla yogurt
2 tablespoons lemon juice
Zest from whatever lemons you used to get that lemon juice
1 egg
1 egg yolk
3/4 cup Lemon Curd (you know, that stuff you made a few steps ago?)

1. Combine the dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl.

2. Cut in the butter. Again, no fancy mixer here, so I mush it with my hands.

3. In a separate bowl, combine the yogurt, lemon juice, lemon zest, egg, and egg yolk. Mix well.

4. Stir the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients until just moistened. The batter will be thick and kind of chunky. I think if very much so resembles soft Play-Doh.

5. Find a springform pan. Put half of the batter into the bottom of that springform pan.

6. Sprinkle all but 1/2 cup of the streusel on top of the batter in your pan.

7. Carefully spoon the Lemon Curd on top of the streusel, making sure to stay about 1/2 inch from the edge of the pan.

8. Carefully spoon the remainder of the batter on top of the Lemon Curd. Don't worry if it doesn't totally cover all of the Lemon Curd as the batter will expand while baking, filling in your gaps.

9. Top with the remainder of the streusel.

10. Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes. It's done when you stab it with a toothpick and it comes out clean.

11. Allow it to cool for about 10 minutes. Slide a knife around the edge of the pan to free the coffee cake.  Remove the sides of the pan.

Glaze
1/2 cup powdered sugar
2 teaspoons lemon juice

1. Combine the powdered sugar and lemon juice until they form a fun "icing."

2. Drizzle the glaze over top of the still-warm coffee cake.

3. Enjoy! You deserve it for managing to follow all of these steps! (I swear this one is easier than it seems like it would be. It also tastes better than you can possibly imagine.)

Enjoying Her Last Week Of Six