Boxes

In the darkest corners of my mind are boxes. Boxes and boxes and boxes. They are carefully labeled and sorted and well-organized because sometimes it's a good idea to take out one of those boxes and dance with the emotions it holds. Most of the time, though, those boxes are best left alone.

There is a box that holds the sadness left from a childhood filled with neglect. There's no sense in waltzing with that box. There is nothing that can be done to change it. Just move forward. Acknowledge that it's there, but leave the box alone.

Another box holds a calamity of thoughts and feelings about various people who have failed me. An Aunt and Uncle who didn't intervene, grandparents who intervened too much, cousins who judged and found me inadequate, they all get lumped together and left in a box labeled "Not Worth My Time." They aren't, you know. Blood may be thicker than water, but sometimes bloodlines deserve to be severed with an chainsaw.

When something happens, I ponder and wallow and think but then I pack it all up and shove it in a box. It's a healthy habit, I swear. That jerk that nearly rear-ended me because he was too busy texting but then flipped me off as if it was all my fault? The anger from that encounter went into a box and was left there. There is no sense in carrying that anger around because then it can leak into the good things that are meant to be carried around everywhere. There is no sense in carrying any negative emotions around.

I choose to live a joy-filled life. Joy is contagious. Joy pays you back in dividends.

Everything else goes in a box and gets tucked away until the time is right for dealing with it.

But sometimes something happens and one of those boxes comes crashing out of its place, its contents spilling all over my purposely joy-filled life.

It took a while to pack up the anger and sadness left over from the miscarriage. I walked around for weeks mentally chewing women out for having the audacity to be pregnant or the nerve to be fertile enough to have five kids or whatever. It wasn't their fault they were dealt a different hand of cards and I knew it, but I needed to work through all of that anger. Eventually I managed to pack up that anger and shove it to the back of that mental closet, but I forgot to duct tape the box closed.

A completely expected announcement threw that box open a few weeks ago. I knew the announcement was coming and am truly happy for the couple, but none of that stops the gut punch that comes from having the contents of that box scattered all over my intentionally joy-filled life.

Some people have commented that it seems things are better. They aren't. At all. I'm fighting like hell to shove all of that stuff into the boxes where it belongs. As I wage that battle, I choose to focus on the things that are worth my time.

It's intentional joy. It doesn't come easy, but it's worth fighting for.

 

That Would Be Chloe

Chloe is now gracing the header portion of these here festivities. You can read her parental-type peoples' blogs at Tall Tales From a Small Town and Crank Crank Revolution.

Darphin Has Forced Me to Admit I Was Wrong (And a Giveaway!)

Guess what happens when you tell the internet that you finally have your acne issues under control? Go ahead! Guess!

But of course every zit monster in the world decides to take up residence on your face. Yahoo!

Here's the thing, though, I knew it was coming when I wrote that post. The why is easy to figure out.

When the zit monsters decided to throw a party at my expense, I did a total reset with products and routines. It seemed like the best thing to do would be to reintroduce things slowly and figure out how to regain balance and such. It was right around the time I restarted OCM (which I still LOVE) that I received an email from BlogHer asking if I would be interested in reviewing the Darphin luxury line of skincare.

Excellent timing, no?

The only "catch" was that Darphin isn't exactly the most inexpensive product line out there. I'm a big fan of inexpensive. BIG FAN. In fact, I only once have ever tried something that wasn't on a shelf at a big box store. That one time was a total and complete failure, which pretty much gave me an excuse to be all "Bah! The expensive stuff is junk!"

With more thought, however, I realized I should try Darphin, because it was a win-win. If I didn't like it, I could continue to be a happy little penny-miser and not feel bad about it. If I did like it, well, that's not a bad problem to have at all.

I recieved four Darphin products--Purifying Foam Gel, Refreshing Toner, Skin Mat Balancing Serum and Organic Aromatic Purifying Balm.

Purifying Foam Gel--I am officially a convert. This stuff works SO much better than anything I have ever used. It cleans without causing any redness or drying, it has a pleasant scent, and you need so very little that I think it may turn out to be more budget friendly than the products I had been using. We're talking a drop smaller than a pea and it works better than the grape-sized drop that I needed of the other stuff.

Refreshing Toner--It's intended to be used after another cleanser, but I've found that it's perfect for a quick in-between clean up. I spend a lot of time working in the garden and the Darphin Refreshing Toner has worked very well for removing dirt, grime, and sweat several times per day and without causing any dryness or sensitivity.

Skin Mat Balancing Serum--The product information for the Skin Mat Balancing Serum says "improves the texture and look of combination to oily skin by absorbing excess oil and diminishing the appearance of pores." Quite the promise, no? Especially for something that says you only need 3 drops and is the consistency of water, right?

You guys, I don't know how it's possible for it to absorb excess oil, but it does. I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS DARPHIN MAGIC STUFF.

It works.

Organic Aromatic Purifying Balm--It's intended for tired, dull complexions with imperfections. Hello, I have one of those. It's a very thick balm which you put on at night. It only takes a tiny little bit to completely cover your face. It promises to reduce the appearance of skin imperfections.

Pro: It reduces redness. I have no doubt about that.

Con: One of the scents used to achieve "aromatic" is lavender. I might be the only human on earth who feels this way, but I love the scent of lavender outdoors. Indoors, however, I can't stand it. I know I'm weird. You don't need to tell me.

Which is all to say, three out of four were absolute winners. The fourth would have been a winner if I weren't a freak who prefers her flower scents in the garden.

Grrrrrrrrrr.

I hate when my cheaper than thou attitude has to admit it was wrong. But, hey! my skin looks better than ever!

If you had the chance to try any Darphin product, which would you try? Why? Answer below in the comments and you could win Darphin products valued at $100 minimum.

Plus, Darphin has a special offer (one of their best!) just for readers of this post: Get a free Age Defying Dermabrasion Deluxe Sample, Dark Circles and De-puffing Eye Serum Deluxe Sample and Spa Headband with any order at Darphin.com through 5/31/12. Use code BLOGGER at checkout.

Sweepstakes Rules:

No duplicate comments.

You may receive (2) total entries by selecting from the following entry methods:

a) Leave a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post

b) Tweet about this promotion and leave the URL to that tweet in a comment on this post

c) Blog about this promotion and leave the URL to that post in a comment on this post

d) For those with no Twitter or blog, read the official rules to learn about an alternate form of entry.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 4/23 – 5/24

Be sure to visit the Darphin brand page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!