The Google Searches From This Post Are Going To Be SO Frightening

I swear I'm not a squeamish person, but there are a few things that make me twitch. And possibly throw up in my mouth. And maybe pass out. The word "moist" is on that list, as is the word "panties" and if you use the two of them in a sentence together, I'm never speaking to you again. ::PUKE::

I think number one on that list is loose teeth. Teeth in general are gross, but when they're all wiggly and start waving goodbye at me, I DIE.

Guess who has a tooth that was waving goodbye at me all through dinner tonight.

AAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

Alexis is completely oblivious to how absolutely disgusting it is that her lower front tooth is twisted sideways and flapping every time she takes a breath. I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't think she knows about that whole thing where the Tooth Fairy trades cash for incredibly disgusting little baby teeth (and puts them WHERE? is what I want to know), so she's in no hurry to yank that thing out.

NEITHER AM I. YOU WITH THE LOOSE TOOTH BEST KEEP YOUR DISTANCE.

The kid started getting her baby teeth when she was four months old. That means teething was a looooooong drawn out process. As far as I'm concerned, I've paid my dues when it comes with dealing with things happening in her mouth, so she should have to keep those teeth for A VERY LONG TIME POSSIBLY FOREVER. Why go through all that pain and misery only to have those damn things fall out just a few years later? WHY? WHY? WHY?

I'm doing everything I can to make sure that tooth falls out anywhere other than in my presence. Apples are getting packed in Alexis' lunch, along with carrots and rocks because WHY NOT? Go ahead! Chip those baby teeth! They're just going to wave goodbye at me for months and then fall out!

Anybody got a pair of moist panties they'd like to trade for one loose tooth?

Here's To A Less Drippy Spring

I once spent spring working at a company on the corner of Peachtree Lane and Peachtree Expressway. It was a few miles from Peachtree Road and Peachtree Lane. And HEY! did you know all of the roads in Atlanta are named "Peachtree" something or other?

It's true.

It was HUGELY confusing trying to figure out how to get around. I would ask people for directions and then wait to see how many times they would use "Peachtree" in a sentence. It would have been funny if it hadn't been so frustrating.

Not helping the situation was the fact that for the first time in my life, I was getting hammered by seasonal allergies. I had no idea I was allergic to anything, but between the itchy, watering eyes and miserable congestion, I realized I was either allergic to roads named "Peachtree" or the actual peach trees that lined every street, alley, and expressway. They were absolutely stunning while in full bloom, but they made me so miserable.

I was really glad to finish up that project and go back to Pittsburgh, where every road seems to have "Washington" in its name. I'm not allergic to Washingtons. In fact, feel free to send me a few.

That spring in Atlanta was the end of my seasonal allergy battles...right up until Alexis was born. Why didn't anyone warn me that could happen, by the way? WHY does having a baby lead to a change in your body that causes you to suddenly have wicked seasonal allergies? Every spring and fall since Alexis was born have been like those few months in Atlanta. Miserable congestion is on its way. URGH.

I usually spend spring in denial. Surely I was imagining things last year when I couldn't go outside without wanting to crawl up in a ball of misery!

I work through all of the fun spring preparation things like clearing the debris from the garden, moving a few plants, mulching, edging, pruning, and taking the containers out of the garage. About halfway through, the misery sets in. I completely block out all intelligent thought and just keep on suffering. It's not until the congestion starts to clear on its own that it occurs to me OH, HAI. SEASONAL ALLERGIES. CAN FIX THAT.

This year, however, is different. This year I'm getting proactive. Thanks to BlogHer and Similasan, I got some Similasan Nasal Allergy Relief to try out. It's a homeopathic nasal mist that stimulates the body's natural ability to relieve symptoms. Goodbye congestion and disgusting post-nasal drip! (Hi, I'm super sexy in spring what with my drippy nose, n'at.)

It's one of the only preservative free nasal decongestants for nasal allergies available, and it's chemical free, so I don't have to worry about rebound effects or reliance. Similasan Nasal Allergy Relief is available at Walgreens and all major online retailers.

I'M READY FOR SPRING! Bring on the flowers! Bring on the mulch! Bring on the pollen!

What about you? What are you doing to prepare for spring? Answer below in the comments to be entered for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card.

Rules:

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This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected. The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 3/14/12 - 5/13/12.

Check out the Similasan page on BlogHer.com for more blogger reviews and chances to win!

Lazy, FTW!

THERE IS A DAFFODIL BLOOMING IN MY GARDEN!

Sorry. I'm a wee bit excited about this whole spring thing. And by a "wee bit" I mean I might have done a little dance when I first noticed that little but of sunshine yellow poking up from the ground. I LOVE SPRING!

I'm all about finding silver linings amongst the storm clouds in our lives right now, and it's really easy to find those silver linings when they include sun and 60-something degrees in early March. I've been spending as much time working in the yard as possible the past few days, which means I've been knocking out projects that have been nagging at me for years. YEARS. Silver linings, ahoy!

Really high on the list of things that need done was to get started on another little fairy garden. A few weeks ago Mr. Husband and I wandered into Michael's and discovered that unfinished wooden bird houses were on sale for $3.99. We immediately snapped up three of them, with the thought that each of the residents of our house would decorate one of them.

Mine is done. Alexis' is done. There's one that is not. Ahem.

In all fairness, Alexis managed to cheat. She painted hers completely, but then had the idea to glue rocks to it. The glue that is good for outdoor applications smells so strongly that I am positive it kills brain cells, so I figured it would be better to kill my brain cells than hers. She still needs hers so that she can help me find my car in the mall parking lot, after all.

A few days later, her fairy house was covered in rocks and had been grouted. I'm an overachiever. I know. For the record, I'm an overachiever with fewer working brain cells that I had just a week ago.

Anyway, on Sunday we were all spending the day outside. Alexis was playing with some kids from the neighborhood, so I figured I would use a little not-responsible-for-keeping-a-human-entertained time to set up Alexis' fairy house.

I dug a hole in the front of the garden and stuck a broken pot in it.

Then I started filling the pot with the Irish Moss I had leftover from last year's fairy garden, a little tree, and the fairy house.

And that's when Alexis and her friend showed up.

I'll be damned if those two didn't fire me on the spot. They decided they were going to create a sidewalk and a little wall. They demanded to get to paint a tiny bench and some tiny fencing.

I just stood back and watched.

No way am I stopping a couple of kids who want to play in the garden for hours on end. Not. A. Chance.

You gotta love when "good parenting" means you get to camp out on a lawn chair and watch as your work gets done for you.

(Photos of the final product are coming once the local garden centers have the plants we need to finish the little spot.)