Reason #4601 Why My Kid Is My Leading Cause Of Insanity
All the fun stuff happens when I have limited internet access, so I have a lot of ground to cover after a weekend of running all over the place making the season jolly and bright. A lot of the adventures have to do with the fact that Alexis has officially done The Present Thing six days running. That's what happens when your kid is very loved and you have a big family.
Of particular note is a certain gift she received from her grandparents. The story of that gift starts all the way back at Christmas 2010, however. Remember Rebecca? The American Girl doll that Alexis wanted with all of her heart? She begged Santa for it and Santa about had a nervous breakdown trying to decide whether or not to cave on the issue. Santa is a cheap bastard, so she wasn't too fond of spending that kind of money on a doll. A DOLL.
Of course, that story ended with Santa delivering Rebecca and Alexis being very -meh- about the whole thing. That damn doll has gotten no love, even spending three months at the bottom of a pile of discarded toys in the playroom closet.
And, yet, Alexis had the guts to continuously ask for more American Girl stuff. That conversation usually went a little something like this:
"Mom, I really want this doll!" Alexis would say as she poured over the latest American Girl catalog.
"Tell it to Rebecca," I would reply. It was a fun response because I knew for a fact the kid didn't know where that stupid doll was hidden. Because I hid it. On top of a bookcase. Out of spite.
Why, yes, I do hold grudges.
Months passed and Alexis continued to not care one iota about that stupid doll that she had sworn she wanted so very badly. Months passed and I continued to get more and more annoyed about the whole thing. Months passed and Alexis continued to beg and beg and beg for another American Girl Doll. Months passed and I continued to remind her that I was never buying another paperweight with hair again.
And then I got an email that made me go "ARRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
There were two dolls on sale for three days. $20 off, or something like that.
In case you didn't know, American Girl does not do sales. Usually they send emails that say, "Biggest! Sale! Of! The! Year!" and it turns out to be that they have one dress for $1 off its normal $80 price. Sadly, I'm not really exaggerating. The fact that any doll was on sale was just plain unbelievable.
So, of course, I pulled up the website and added one to my cart, fully expecting to find that there was some sort of significant catch.
There wasn't.
The doll really was on sale.
At that point, Alexis' Christmas gifts from us had already been purchased. I considered buying it for her for her birthday and decided it was a good idea. I went back to the website and started the check out process and . . . broke out in a cold sweat.
I shook.
I convulsed.
I very nearly threw up.
I had flashbacks to the disaster that was Rebecca.
I couldn't do it. I apparently have PTAGDSD (Post-Traumatic American Girl Doll Stress Disorder).
The next day I told Mr. Husband about the conundrum. He started to go to the website to make the purchase (after calling me a few names, of course), but then had to take care of a work thing. He forgot all about it for a few hours. By the time he went to try again, I had flopped around all over the fence about the issue and was bloody and broken and battered. I told him not to do it. I just couldn't let American Girl have even once cent of our money.
So, I did the only logical thing. I posted a link on Facebook and said that it would be dandy if someone bought it for Christmas for Alexis.
Her grandparents did. They rock like that.
Fast forward to Christmas Eve and Alexis finally got to unwrap her gift. She had absolutely no clue what to expect. No. Clue.
She. Loved. It.
And by "She. Loved. It." I mean she has drug that doll all over the place ever since she got it. If you follow me on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram (and you should!), you've seen photos of her pushing Marie Grace in a cart at Target, watching a movie on the Kindle Fire with Marie Grace in her lap, and everything in between.
She slept with Marie Grace.
She took her to Christmas celebration #223564.
She has carried her around every second of the day.
Rebecca is going to be pissed when she finds out.
Monday, December 26, 2011
