I'm Not Quite Done With October Yet

Trick-or-treating in our neighborhood is completely different than anything I ever grew up with, so it never ceases to blow my mind. And, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. It's November. You're ready to forget all about Halloween. So am I. I have already mentally started setting up Christmas trees, so I get it. But I have these photographs I want to post, so PFFFFFFFT. November 1st is almost still Halloween. Close enough to count, anyway.

So trick-or-treating around here always blows my mind, and this year was no exception. While there was a steady rain all through the festivities, there were still a ton of kids roaming around in costume. If it hadn't been so dark, there would be photos of some of the better dressed punks. There certainly were a ton of them, as evidence by the fact that we went through $50 worth of candy in no time flat.

(It's a good thing I like Halloween or that dollar amount would make me twitch. A lot. OH, WAIT. IT DOES.)

Just about every house hands out candy, and the vast majority of homeowners set up shop at the end of their driveway. This year many of them feared melting in the rain, so they moved to their garages when possible. Others did this weird thing I haven't really seen since we moved. They stayed inside their house and waited for kids to knock on the door. I vaguely remember that being the standard mode of operation in my childhood . . . many, many moons ago.

I like the whole end-of-the-driveway thing better. It means less walking and less risk of a sidewalk or stairs reaching up and trying to punch my kid in the face.

Oh, and I like this.

Both the police department and fire department roam the neighborhood handing out candy. For some reason, I find that to be pretty kick-ass.

This also kicks ass.

Mostly I say that because it amazes me that people can leave giant bowls of candy unattended and they manage to last the entire night. I'm pretty sure that if I had encountered that when I was a kid, I would have gone back a few times to grab a fistful of candy. Or two.

There is hope for our next generation. Maybe.

While I'm busy proclaiming my love for Halloween, I suppose I could show you just how deep that love runs. Behold, our yard!

Part of it, anyway.

Those tombstones are going to be the death of me. Every year I fight with them daily because they fall over and blow away and generally just suck. And yet every year I put them in the yard again. Is that the definition of insanity?

Or is this?

How about this?

Big thanks to @rockingpony for contributing to my madness with that Woody. He's amazing!

I set up my usual jack o' lantern that makes it very clear how I feel about princesses.

And Alexis and the husband collaborated for this masterpiece.

It looked pretty good once it was dark outside.

What didn't look good after dark was my ghost lanterns.

I was going to post the steps for making them, but then it rained and rained and my little friendly ghosts decided they didn't want to light up anymore. Apparently plugging in eight ghosts was enough to send our electrical system into a frenzy. I tried to find a way around the whole disaster, but it didn't matter where I plugged them in, a circuit blew. I like hot water and I like being able to turn on lights in the house, so I had to give up. They're cool lit up, though. Trust me.

Alexis' contribution to the house looked good lit up at night as well. I didn't remember to take a photograph after dark, but these things?

Are awesomeness.

They're easy to make. Black wrapping paper (Party City and Walmart both have it). Trace a human (that one is Alexis-shaped). Cut it out. Tape it to the window. DONE.

Alexis made the one in the left window. It's me. I'm sure you figured that out based on the ape arms and tiny head.

Alexis was also responsible for this.

Times two.

I bet you can guess which of the dogs has forgiven Alexis and which is plotting ways to get revenge.

It's a good thing the Bulldog can't figure out how to climb the ladder to Alexis' bed.

I Want To Be As Cool As My Kid

I knew it was going to be a pretty good Halloween when it was preceded by sweet dreams involving Tom Brady making his sad face. Er, wait. That wasn't a dream? EVEN BETTER!

Anyway, I love Halloween, in case you hadn't noticed. While Karma has a sick sense of humor and sent me a kid who is the anti-me in so many ways, she was kind enough to give me a kid who frequently has said, and this is a direct quote, "I looooove Halloween!" I don't think a love of the spooktacular is contagious, but maybe it is genetic. In that case, I hit the genetic lottery when it comes to Halloween awesomeness.

Obviously.

I'd like to state for the record that I had absolutely nothing to do with Alexis' costume choice this year. I actually haven't been permitted to have an opinion in the matter since she learned to talk. If I were allowed to have an opinion, I'd go with costumes that are easy to find. Instead, I end up with a kid who has a very specific vision of what she wants and IT DOES NOT EXIST. Sixteen stores and four catalogs later, I usually manage to convince her to go with Plan B, which is what that blue dress was. She wanted red, gosh darn it. RED. With gold and pearls and sequins and all sorts of things that just weren't happening. Fortunately, when faced with the last blue dress in her size at TJMaxx, she decided it wasn't worth looking any further.

(If anybody ever tells her that my sewing machine does so work for making clothes and costumes, I WILL CUT YOU. Shhhhh!)

So Alexis wanted to be a vampire, and I was totally OK with it once we agreed on a dress. All that was left to deal with was convincing her to let me make her hair awesome like the kid in Interview with a Vampire. I got halfway there before she lost patience with me making her curls springer than usual. Halfway was enough for me to realize the kid has the most perfect hair ever. EVER.

I've never been prouder.

The thing with Alexis' costume choice this year is that it made for a bit of . . . let's call it "controversy." She wore it to dance class last week, just as she was supposed to. As she stood in the next room shaking her groove thang to Purple People Eater, I had the fantastic privilege of listening to a few of the other parents and grandparents make sweeping judgements about every kid in the dance class.

Apparently they are not aware that other people can hear them when they say words out loud in a small room.

I heard all about how the Jasmine costume was too whorish (Jasmine's belly sticks out. IT JUST DOES. If you're turning that into something sexual when a 4-year old is the person in question, it's on you. Not the kid. YOU. The kid has no clue.). I heard about how the ballerina dancer costume was lame (Actually, it's genius. Convincing a kid that she should wear stuff you already own? ALWAYS GENIUS.). And then there was my little vampire.

"There is no way I'd let that young of a kid wear something so awful," one grandparent said.

"It's completely inappropriate for someone that age," a parent replied.

"Little kids shouldn't be wearing scary costumes. That's all there is to it," another said.

I didn't bother to say anything to them. People who are too dumb to realize that the other humans in the room can hear them aren't worth my time. Besides, anybody remember those plastic masks from the 80's? Now THOSE were the creepiest Halloween costumes that ever existed. I was Strawberry Shortcake one year and I guarantee the black holes where I was supposed to use to see out of the permanently frozen smiling face were WAY creepier than this.

That? That is just plain AWESOME.

Oh, and she is SO totally my kid. She found a creepy doll hanging out in the Halloween decorations and she did what I would absolutely do if I had fangs.

Genetics FTW!

Easy Vegetarian Chili

We have a rule around our house that says that whoever gets home first has to make dinner. So, yeah, if you manage to dodge traffic and get home at a decent hour, you get punished. It's all good, though. We don't cook any of the same things, so it adds a little variety to life.

This is one of the husband's specialities. To be honest, it was like pulling teeth to get him to fess up as to what is in it. Apparently, he likes having secret recipes. To that I say TOO BAD. Half the fun of finding good foods is sharing them with friends.

I don't know where this recipe first originated, but the husband adapted it to make it vegetarian. While he does eat meat, he's pretty health-conscious. The substitutions cut out a ton of calories and manage to do so without cutting out any taste. Or so he says. I wouldn't know because I only like chili this way.

Easy Vegetarian Chili

2 tablespoons olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
1 red pepper, chopped
1 package Morningstar Meal Starters Grillers Crumbles or 1 package Boca Ground Crumbles
2 6-oz cans tomato sauce
1 package chili seasoning
1 can beans (Any will do--kidney, white, black, whatever)

(That's the "basic" ingredients. Depending on what we have sitting around, this often gets embellished. Potential additions include an extra can or two of beans (the photos show kidney beans and garbanzo beans), hot sauce, zucchini, tomatoes, corn, etc.)

Heat the olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat. Add the red pepper and onion and sauté until softened. Add the Crumbles and cook until lightly browned.

Add the tomato sauce, chili powder, and beans. Cover the skillet and allow to simmer until heated all the way through.

Tah-dah! No. Seriously. You're done. You can embellish if you'd like, but that's the basic idea.

We serve it with a bit of cheddar cheese and some crackers most of the time, but the same vegetarian chili also gets used when we have chili dogs. It's versatile, n'at.

Also, it's a hit with the short person. She invaded my "photo shoot" because she wanted to start eating it IMMEDIATELY.

I'll admit, it's pretty good.

Especially since I'm not the one who makes it.