I Never Expected That It Would To Come To This

You know that panic-inducing, heart-stopping, gut-wrenching moment when you realize that your baby is about to start kindergarten?

I haven't had that yet.

It's not that it hasn't occurred to me that I blinked and five years passed me by. I noticed that part. The problem is that the whole concept of kindergarten has turned out to be such a giant pain in the ass that it has been an all-consuming task just to get the whole mess figured out. Considering I've spent most of my free moments for the past two months trying to figure it all out, it's almost shocking how little I've mentioned the debacle online.

The first sign of trouble came way back in January when I first registered Alexis for kindergarten at the elementary school nearest our home. Sirens went off and and emergency lights flashed in my head because SON OF A HORNLESS UNICORN, somehow when we moved two years ago, we managed to land in one of the few Pittsburgh-area schools that still have half-day kindergarten.

I haven't quite figured out the logic in half-day kindergarten, especially when "half-day" is fancy wording for "two and a half hours." Do people in our school district just not work? I mean, seriously, how *do* they manage to transport a kid back and forth and still go to work? I never found an answer to that question, but I did think I had a viable solution to the problem.

That solution required that Alexis end up in morning kindergarten, but still. That shouldn't have been an issue, at least the way I saw it.

But it was an issue. Despite my fervent pleas for Alexis to be placed in morning kindergarten, in June we were notified that she had been assigned to the afternoon class. No amount of "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" emails or calls seemed to make a difference (honestly, my emails and calls were flat-out ignored by the principal, which, WTF?). That left me to try to find someone to watch her from 7:30 am to 12:30,  and then again from 3:00 to 5:00. Which, really? REALLY? Not to beat a dead horse, but do people in our school district just not work?

I explored school-endorsed programs and found out that there were none. I inquired about kindergarten plus programs and was met with quizzical stares. Apparently, they don't exist in the bubble we live in. I checked with area daycare centers and the YMCA and with neighbors and then I had a huge hissy fit, threw a bunch of papers in the air, cussed a bunch, and realized that it was all too much.

Way. Too. Much.

We believe in public schools. We believe in our public school. But, we don't believe in moving mountains to accommodate a schedule that isn't just a pain in the ass, it's flat-out a disservice to our child. Alexis is accustomed to all-day preschool. She thrives on learning opportunities. She's a nerd, to be honest, and nerds need more than a couple of hours of school each day.

So, private kindergarten it is. The decision is made. We're not entirely happy about the lack of choices that were available to us, but at least the little nerd will have a chance to learn as much as she wants and I won't have to quit my job just so I can take her to school each day.

It will probably take a few weeks for the smoke to clear, and when it does, I'll be over in the corner sobbing because OMG, my baby is about to start kindergarten.

Breakfast Burritos Are What's For Dinner

Sometimes life happens and dinner needs to magically appear on the table. Sadly, my friend Jeannie doesn't grant wishes, so I can't just call her and ask her to shake her nose. Instead, I have to rely on one of my standard quick-fix dinners. This one is a favorite around here, and not just because I can get it on the table in less than ten minutes. Although, that DEFINITELY helps.

Breakfast Burritos

1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1 small yellow onion, diced
1/2 red pepper, diced
2 cups diced potatoes (frozen or fresh--I usually keep a bag in the freezer in case of emergency)
6 slices precooked bacon, diced (I use fake bacon, obviously)
6 eggs
1/2 cups shredded cheddar
4 large flour tortillas

(An aside...I don't actually measure any of this stuff. I just throw it all in the skillet and hope for the best, knowing that I can always add more eggs if it looks like I've gotten carried away with the potatoes and such.)

Heat the vegetable oil in a large skillet and add the onion, red pepper, and diced potatoes (Cheaters note: Ore Ida makes a frozen "Potatoes O'Brien" which has all three in one bag. It's the ultimate in Get-Dinner-On-The-Table-NOW). Stir occasionally. Cook until softened and lightly browned.

Add your bacon, or in my case, this stuff:

Stir, stir, stir until the bacon is heated.

Add the eggs. There's no need to scramble them in advance--just crack them right over top of the potato stuff and stir.

You'll end up with a hash of sorts.

Scoop out about 1/2 cup of the potato stuff and put it in the center of a warmed tortilla (follow the package instructions to warm the tortillas). Top with cheese.

It may not look like much, but this stuff is gooooooood.

Add salt and pepper to taste and then roll it up and throw it on the table. Seriously, start to finish I can have this ready in ten minutes. It will then take the 5-year old about seventeen years to eat her share, but that's because it's really hard to put food in your mouth when you're busy shoving words fall out of your mouth.

I know some people swear you HAVE to have salsa on breakfast burritos, but I say those people are wrong. The joy of breakfast burritos is that you can put whatever you want on them. All I care is that it's quick.

Up, Up, and Away