Sorry About All Those Screams Sunday Night. Truly.

It was very possible that I would lay a giant egg if I heard the kid utter the words, "I don't wanna go! Bike riding is soooo boring!" one more time. After five years of happily riding behind Mr. Husband aboard a bike trailer several times per week, the kid was suddenly really very over it.

How THAT for an old photo?

So, I did the only logical thing I could think of and bought her an attachment for his bike to turn it into a bicycle built for two. The idea was that she would be able to pedal, too, as she looked around and was more active in the biking process. I mean, she could have ridden her own bike under her own power, but that would require us to move at the pace of a gimpy snail and we'd have to stop and look around every four inches any time we had to go down a tiny incline. Alexis is too much of a scaredy pants to ride a bike like a normal human being (unless she's riding in the house--in that case she's confident she can stop just fine because she can always run into a wall).

So, bicycle built for two it was.

The calculated risk paid off big time. Alexis LOOOOOOVES it. She yells, "Wahooo!" and "Go faster!" and "THIS IS THE FUNNEST DAY OF MY LIFE!" all along our usual ten-mile ride. She was so joyous about her new biking situation that I thought it would be a fantastic idea to give Mr. Husband a break from dragging her behind him for the first time ever.

Two things. 1) If you remove 70 pounds from behind a guy's bike, he'll decide he's Lance Armstrong. 2) If you add 70 pounds to the back of my bike, I'll decide I feel entirely too much like the nut Lance Armstrong had to cut off.

Me no likey extra weight, it seems. Honestly, though, it's totally fine when Alexis pedals. She completely manages to counter her own weight. When she stops pedaling, though, things get ugly. And what exactly would make her stop pedaling?

How about a bug flying into her hand? Yup, that'll do it. Even better, the tiny little gnat that grazed her knuckles was accused of making her bleed in between sobs and cries. When the bug made contact, the kid let out a scream that probably stopped traffic for miles around. I know my blood ran cold, but then began to boil when she explained why she was dramatically reenacting a scene from a horror flick. It didn't leave so much as a freckle. Nothing. The only thing the gnat hurt was my sanity.

After the bug incident, Alexis and I finally started working our way down the trail again when she suddenly let out a shriek that I can only compare to the sound Justin Bieber would make if he woke up bald one morning. The entire universe paused to see if the kid was on her death bed. SURELY she was because the sound that escaped her mouth was most certainly a sign of the apocalypse.

Or not.

She had discovered that she was missing an earring.

A TRAVESTY.

As Alexis sobbed and cried and generally had a nervous breakdown, I helped her off of the bike and began walking with her in search of the earring. We walked and walked and walked, scouring the earth for sign of the shiny little stud. All the while Alexis kept apologizing and crying and generally breaking my heart because she was SO convinced that Santa Claus would never forgive her for losing the earring he had given her.

I offered to text Santa and ask for a replacement, but she said the elves needed a vacation. We HAD to find the original.

Twenty minutes later, we still hadn't found the earring. I had finally convinced the sad little person that all would be well. We could buy her a new pair of earrings, but in the meantime, she had others at home that would be just fine. We got on the bike and caught up with Mr. Husband. Our ride that night was a full half hour longer than usual.

And SO full of drama.

Two things. 1) Never again. 2) NEVER AGAIN.

Oh, and we found an envelope in our mailbox the next day. On the outside, carefully written in our neighbor's handwriting, was a little message:

Alexis' earring. We found it on the trampoline. :-)

NEVER AGAIN.

Team Tassy Strikes Again

After surviving a long day of work, I grabbed my cell phone to quickly catch up on personal emails before heading over to the airport. As I scrolled through a particularly long and shenanigans-filled chain, I laughed out loud. Literally. You would too if you would have seen some of the crazy that was being discussed.

"What's so funny?" a co-worker asked.

"Just catching up on some stuff for a fundraiser that's coming up," I told her.

"What fundraiser is that?" she asked.

"A friend of mine is trying to save Haiti," I told her. It's the truth.

That simple statement sent her into a tailspin of political commentary. She went on and on about the "evil Red Cross" and government handouts, and blah, blah, blah.

That woman is completely missing the point. In her head filled with opinions and biases and media spin, she has lost sight of what's been happening in Haiti since the earthquake in early 2010. There is a long, very long, way to go, but there are people making a difference. Sometimes the best way to make a difference is to change lives one person at a time.

Remember Tassy?

I'm absolutely positive he would tell you that he is better off than he was just a year ago. Thanks to a chance encounter with Ian Rosenberger (yeah, THAT Ian Rosenberger*) who then rallied hundreds of people into action, Tassy is now tumor-free. He's making plans for college, singing joyful songs at the top of his lungs, and changing the lives of everyone he encounters.

But the team who worked together to form Team Tassy aren't done. They've saved one life, but now they want to do it again.

This Thursday, August 4th, Team Tassy is kicking things into gear with the Second Annual A Night for Tassy at The Priory. There will be food (A COOKIE TABLE, PEOPLE), music, a raffle, and shenanigans. All proceeds will help to save another life.

More information is available over here, and you can get your tickets at Eventbrite. If you can't make it Thursday night, consider donating here.

I hope to see you there!

* It's possible that the only reason I linked that video is because I know it'll make Ian cringe.

Baked Eggplant and Spinach

If I could figure out how to do it, I would absolutely make out with our local Farmers Market. Considering I grew up eating Banquet frozen chicken and TV dinners, it's probably a little weird that I get all sorts of hot and bothered by fresh produce, but I do. Mmmm...fresh produce.

Last week's Farmer's Market run included a HUGE pile of stuff, not the least of which was eggplant and spinach. I happen to be a big fan of putting them together and adding some marinara sauce and cheese to the concoction. I have no clue what it's "technically" called, but I've been calling it Baked Eggplant and Spinach. Most of the time, that is. Sometimes I call it, "The Eggplant Crap." (Nobody ever said I was good with naming things.)

It turns out a lot like Eggplant Parmesan, but with a lot less fat and calories. Shhhh...don't tell anyone that I generally eat healthy foods. I have a reputation to maintain, n'at.

Baked Eggplant and Spinach

1 Eggplant, peeled
2 tablespoons olive oil
Salt
Spinach (If frozen, use one package. If fresh, use as much as you can fit into a produce bag.)
1 cup marinara sauce
1/2 cup (or more) shredded cheese

Slice the eggplant into 1/3 inch pieces.

Coat each side of the eggplant slices with olive oil and a little sprinkle of salt. Place in the oven under the broiler (low, if you have a choice). You can use a cookie sheet if desired, but I like to put it directly on the rack.

While you're waiting for the eggplant to cook, cook the spinach. I prefer to steam it, but it doesn't really matter.

When the eggplant is lightly browned on top, flip it over and allow the other side to cook. It takes about 5 minutes per side, but oven temperatures vary, so keep an eye on it. (Pro tip: If the eggplant seems a little dry after cooking the first side, feel free to slap some more olive oil on the uncooked side before putting it back into the oven.)

Once the eggplant is lightly browned and softened, remove it from the oven. Place a layer of eggplant in the bottom of an oven safe dish.

Add a layer of cooked spinach.

Add a layer of marinara sauce, and then repeat the layers until you run out of eggplant.

Then look at how amazingly healthy you're being and realize there isn't enough protein happening. Fix that with some shredded cheese on top of your last layer of marinara.

I'm a fan of mozzarella and provolone, but anything works.

Bake at 375 degrees for about 20 minutes, or until it is warmed all the way through. Then turn the broiler on high and make some quick magic.

Whoever first figured out that burnt cheese is the greatest thing ever deserves a medal. We fight over that stuff at my house.

I like this as a side or a main course exactly as it comes out of the oven. The husband, however, likes to put a huge serving of it on a hoagie roll.

Whatever.

It's good no matter what.