It's Going Home that Hurts

We arrived back in Pittsburgh about an hour ago and already the pain is unbearable. Alexis collected so much candy over the past few days that my teeth hurt just looking at it. My brain is stressed from the thoughts of figuring out what to do with the Chinese toy factory vomit in the living room. My hands are all cut up from the wires and ties that held all the toys in their package so firmly that I'm pretty sure the CIA uses the exact same technology to protect the nation's biggest secrets. But it's the knowledge that I'll be sleeping in my own bed tonight that hurts the most.

You read that right. I miss my bed at the hotel.

When we go to Indianapolis to visit family, we usually stay at a hotel. It turns out that it's way easier to have fun with your family when you have the option to leave at the end of the night, plus Mom's Inn is pretty crowded these days. An additional two adults, Toddler, and two dogs just might be enough for the Health Department to launch an investigation. This time we stayed at my preferred hotel, a Residence Inn. I like it because it's nice to have a full kitchen available just in case I get the sudden urge to cook a seven course meal. Plus, the rooms are a lot bigger.

When we got to our room, we noticed a bit of a problem. Instead of the usual King or Queen-sized bed, there was a full bed. I thought about going back to the front desk and asking for a different room, but we were located at the very end of the hall right next to the door. When you have two dogs that turn into complete idiots anytime they are in a public location, that is pretty much the ideal location to get. So we figured we would just fold out the couch and let Alexis sleep by herself in a hide-a-bed for her first time. With any luck, one or two dogs might join her.

Mr. Husband folded out the bed and I threw the bedding on it whilst Alexis slept soundly on the other bed. Did you ever notice that fold-out-couches look an awful lot like Toddler-sized mouse traps? Me neither, at least not until I thought about moving her over. All I could see where ways that she could get herself stuck in the sides, fall under the mattress, or manage to fold herself into the thing. So I made the executive decision to leave her where she was.

Right smack on Daddy's side of the bed. There was room for me to get in on my assigned side (assigned by my husband, not me--I couldn't care less which side I sleep on but he has a heart attack about it), but no room for him. So guess who slept on the hide-a-bed? Oh, but a beautiful thing happened--not only did Daddy sleep on it, so did the dogs. I haven't been able to sprawl out on the bed like that since the days when I travelled for work and stayed in hotels all the time. Sure, I had to share with the Toddler, but she's like sleeping with a soft little stuffed Teddy Bear as compared to my husband, a big ol' Grizzly Bear. Once you add in the dogs, I'm usually confined to a four-inch wide space on the very edge of the bed. I have literally awoke to find myself with one foot on the ground and my head propped on the nightstand while everybody else had plenty of space.

The arrangement to have the dogs and Daddy sleep on the hide-a-bed worked out so well that we stuck to it for the remainder of our stay. But now we're home. The Toddler is tucked away in her crib, probably happily dreaming of her Chinese toy factory vomit. I have to return to sharing my bed with two rude dogs and a bed-hog of a husband.

I wonder if there's a room available at the Hilton.


Yup, This Sums Things Up Quite Nicely


A Note to Alexis

My Dearest Alexis,

I'm sorry; I saw no way out. Just know that I am every bit as embarrassed as you are, and I will do whatever I have to in order to ensure that no photos survive the day. You will be getting an extra present as a reward for being such a good sport.

Again, I'm sorry.

Love ya' kid,