Friday, September 24, 2010Have I Mentioned That You're My Favorite? And That You Should Meet Me at ScareHouse?
Wanna see something really fun?
Photo by the amazingly wonderful, crazy smart, and hugely talented Jonathan Wander
Hahahahaha! How great is that? I say that with love, of course. In case you don't recognize the terrified Pittsburgher on the right, that's Virgina/Ginny/person who frequently calls me mean names in emails from That's Church. I adore her. Even when she calls me names. Especially when she looks like she might just pee her pants from fear. Ahem.
As you may recall, she and I just wrapped up some shenanigans involving the Pirates and their sucking and raising some money for kids. Around $1000 was raised for Make Room for Kids (provides gaming equipment and such to hospitalized kids) and Christmas Crazy (provides Christmas gifts to kids who may not otherwise get them). For as grateful as we are to all of you (and we really, really, really, really are), we're also sort of greedy. We want to help more kids.
As luck would have it, Scott from ScareHouse wants to help more kids, too. Scott is an all-around amazing and kind and hilarious person who I have had the great fortune of getting to know over the past year. Somewhere along the line we started talking about a tweetup at ScareHouse, and he decided to take that one step further.
Tweetup. At ScareHouse. All proceeds will be split evenly between Christmas Crazy and Make Room for Kids.
How amazing is that? I mean, not only is he willing to let Pittsburgh's Social Media crowd invade ScareHouse en masse, he's also giving Virginia and I another way to help a whole lot of kids.
So, here's where you come in. See that little scared PittGirl over in my sidebar? CLICK IT! Get yourself a ticket to the tweetup happening at ScareHouse on October 5th from 7 to 9:00pm. That $30 ticket will get you access to the exclusive VIP party that will be happening in the ScareHouse suite. There will be food. There will be prizes. There will be fun. There will be shenanigans. A LOT of shenanigans. And, you will have front-of-the-line access and full admission to all three of the ScareHouse haunts--RAMPAGE, Delirium 3-D, and The Forsaken. (If you're the type of person who prefers to avoid psychotic clowns with machetes, you can skip the whole touring the haunts thing and just hang out in the safety of the VIP room. Your choice!)
Most importantly, if you click THAT button in MY sidebar, you will be helping to save me from my worst nightmare. You see, Scott has a bit of an evil streak (um, shocking?). He thought it would be fun for Virginia and I to compete to see who could sell the most tickets. If I sell the most tickets, Virginia will be living her worst nightmare--she'll be walking through ScareHouse all by her lonesome self. No mommy to comfort her, no husband to hide behind. No kids to save her. All. By. Herself.
I imagine that the photos I *will* capture of that will be EPIC. Better than the bird flying in her face photo, even. People, she has said over and over and over again that she can't lose. MAKE HER LOSE. Please. Ahem. It may help to know that I've had the privilege of getting a behind-the-scenes tour of ScareHouse, so I know EXACTLY where I need to stand to capture her in her utmost scared glory.
Oh, and if I lose? It won't be quite as exciting. I just have to get all dressed up like a princess. You know, a pink princess gown and makeup and fancy hair and glitter and stuff. In other words, I'll have to dress like my kid. Not really a big deal.
See that? It would be WAY more fun to see Virginia lose. Help me out here, people. If you don't, I'm absolutely going to be posting dozens of photos like this one:
So. ScareHouse. October 5th. 7-9:00pm. Hurry up and get your ticket, because only a limited number of VIP tickets are available.
P.S. You can also buy general admission tickets for ScareHouse on October 5th at a deeply discounted price of $15. Proceeds still go to Make Room for Crazy. Use promotional code "Alone." BECAUSE I SAID SO.
Oh, and your hair looks really fantastic today. :-D
Some Questions Are Best Left Unanswered
The call came at 3:09pm. I didn't even have to look at my cell phone to know it was going to be bad news. Preschool has its own unique ringtone. While others may hear a cheery tune when it plays, I hear something like the Jaws theme.
The news wasn't quite as bad as I was expecting, but when I heard the word, "coughing," I immediately said I'd be right there to get Alexis. "Coughing" is pretty much the worst word anyone can use to describe Alexis' condition. Tell me she has a fever and I'm all sorts of -meh.- She can be achy and miserable and I'm all sorts of -meh.- But, coughing? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
I don't know why she hates to cough so much, I just know that one little tickle in the back of her throat and BAM! The kid starts freaking out. The whining! The moaning! The drama!
Once I had Alexis in the car, I began to assess the situation. No fever. No chills. No aches. Just a minor little cough. Except, if it was her tale to tell, she had a "terrible cough" and was quite possibly going to die. Waaaaaaaaah! I began offering her Luden's as if they were candy (which, frankly, they are), telling her that they were medicine that would help her cough go away.
As is always the way with a well-delivered placebo, it worked. Her cough calmed down. But then just as we began to near our house, the tickle started to creep up her throat again. I heard Alexis start to fret, so I tried to distract her.
"Hey, so what did you have for lunch?" I asked.
"Momma, I can't stop coughing," she whined.
"Do you want to watch Dancing with the Stars tonight?" I offered. I had recorded it THANK GOODNESS.
*cough* *cough* "Momma, I don't feeeeel gooood," she replied.
I could sense that she was starting to panic. Heck, I was starting to panic.
"Hey, so, should we invite the High School Musical kids to your birthday party, or would you rather go on a date with the Jonas Brothers?" I was willing to do anything to prevent what I knew came next. You see, Alexis is a Pittsburgher in training. She is learning to panic about the simplest of things. Since she can't rush out to buy toilet paper and milk when there's a 10% chance of snow in the forecast, she focuses on something that she can do.
You guys, when Alexis starts to panic about being sick, she can make herself sick. On command. I fully expect to some day see her on an episode of America's Top Model training wanna-be models methods of bulimia because the girl can make herself puke if she tries for even half a second. Just like Pittsburghers are convinced one snowflake is the beginning of the apocalypse, Alexis is convinced that one cough is the beginning of a puke festival.
Except, she really can make it happen.
All over the back of my car.
Peas. That was the answer to my question. She had peas for lunch.
