I Bet that Shark is Looking Real Good After This, Mr. Husband

I am a gift-finding genius when it comes to Christmas. I'm not too shabby when it comes to birthdays. Father's Day, however, is a whole other thing. Father's Day kicks my butt up and down and left and right and through the uprights and TOUCHDOWN! I lose at Father's Day.

The thing is that the Mr. Husband isn't exactly patient when it comes to acquiring whatever it is that he wants. In other words, if he wants something, he buys it. There is no surprising him with anything good, unless you have $1000 to spend because that's about how much any of the few things he wants cost.

It's a never-ending bottle of suck for those of us who aren't about to go out and by stereo systems and TVs and the like.

This Father's Day, however, I thought it would be different. I thought it would be easy. I had a plan. My plan was to ask Alexis what she wanted to get him.

What? She's old enough to make these sorts of decisions on her own. In fact, she kicks butt at finding things that I would like. Truly.

So . . . I asked Alexis what she wanted to get Daddy for Father's Day. Her first answer was, "pants."

"Why do you want to get Daddy pants?" I asked. A logical question, in my opinion.

"Because he needs to wear some," she replied.

I'm not exactly sure what she meant by that, but whatever. Her next answer?

"Let's get Daddy a shirt!"

Shirts are good. Everybody needs shirts. I asked Alexis what she wanted to get him with that shirt.

"A tie!" she instantly blurted out.

She continued on to add a belt, shoes, and a bag for his computer.

In other words, she just wants him to dress him for work, something that would thrill him about as much as finding leeches in his coffee maker.

I think this thoroughly proves exactly one thing--I'm WAAAAY better at brainwashing the kid so that she knows what to suggest be purchased for me than Mr. Husband is.

Coyotes, Bunnies, Toads, and Now Something New

It has been two months since I pranced out of the garage with a shovel in my hand and started digging a big ol' hole in our backyard. It has been six weeks since I last managed to do any real work on that hole, mostly because Mother Nature has been all weepy and sad and making me want to kick puppies as she gave us weekend after weekend with rain. Even when it hasn't actually rained, I haven't worked on the pond because there has been rain in the forecast and, well, I got a little tired of draining water out of the hole.

You see, it seems that the "little" drainage problem we knew needed addressed in the back yard is more like a HOLY CRAP WATER JUST SITS problem in the back yard. The three foot deep hole I dug has stayed full for six weeks now. It has rained a lot in that time, but still. That's some serious water-holding magic going on.

Anyway, all that is left to do on the pond is maybe two hours worth of digging; a little work with some cinder blocks; tossing in the liner (obviously not needed to hold water in, but rather to keep dirt out; setting up the pumps, filter, and skimmer; arrange some rocks; and BAM! We'll have a gorgeous little waterfall and pond.

Some day. Eventually. If the rain-or-threat-of-rain-every-weekend cycle ever stops.

In the meantime, it seems that there has been an invasion in the hole in the ground. Things which I have previously happily paid $1.50 each to have (we had a pond at our old house) just found their way to the hole and made themselves at home.

Frogs. Not just one frog, frogS. I counted at least three when I sat outside for ten minutes earlier tonight, which means there are probably dozens.

We should probably just call it a day and leave the hole as it is. Another month or two and it'll manage to turn itself into a fully stocked pond, I'm sure.

She's Really Very Good at Not Looking

I get a lot of people commenting that it must be nice having a kid who cooperates for photos. I'm sure it would be, but I don't have one of those. I mean, the past few months Alexis has been sort of getting into having her picture taken, but most of her life she's done her best to be completely passive-aggressive about the issue. Want to take her picture? Sure, go ahead. Just don't expect her to actually look at the camera. See:

I've seen enough of the averted eyes over the past four years to be absolutely certain she does it intentionally.

Somehow, some way, the kid manages to make passive aggressive look cute.