One Last Post about Christmas. Probably.

As I piled the gifts by recipient, I began to think I had gone overboard. Alexis' pile kept growing taller and taller. I knew I couldn't blame Mr. Husband for the excess; I had purchased most of the items. When the pile grew to be taller than the kid, I started to kick myself for being one of those parents. One who did the whole excess thing.

But, as the kid gleefully started to unwrap things, I slowly remembered that I hadn't been totally out of my mind. There was the Sleeping Beauty costume I picked up at the Disney Store after Halloween for a whopping $15. Several gifts were individually wrapped dollhouse accessories; I spent a total of $35 on the entire lot of them. There were a few t-shirts, a pair of pajamas, and a few Christmas ornaments.

As Alexis unwrapped the very last thing, I started to think I hadn't done enough. Of course she still had some Santa things to unwrap, but there really wasn't much. There were no electronic toys. There were no high-priced items. It was a series of small items that had been wrapped to appear to be much more.

As Alexis surveyed the meager pile, she proclaimed, "This is the best Christmas ever!"

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I never did manage to get all the Christmas decorations out.

I had enough ornaments to start a new tree, but apparently now that retailers start putting out Christmas stuff before the 4th of July, you can't actually buy anything once December rolls around. By then, it has all been replaced by Valentine's Day crap.

Many of the outdoor decorations were an electrical failure of epic proportions. Although, that doesn't really explain why the giant wreath is sitting in the dining room instead of hanging on the window. There's really no good explanation for that. Nor is there a good explanation for where the heck my white glitter reindeer that belong on the dining room table might be hiding. They HAVE to be in the house somewhere, right?

One evening, as I surveyed the piles of stuff that really should have been put on display, I realized that Alexis was standing in front of one of the trees watching the motion ornaments do their thing. As the Tigger and Rabbit tugged back and forth on a stuck Winnie the Pooh, Alexis turned to me and said, "This is the best Christmas ever!"

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Every year I morph into a Domestic Goddess for a few days as I bake a ton of cookies. We can't really afford to buy gifts for everyone we think should be on our list, so tins of homemade confections fill the gap. I take the process very seriously, always making sure to make a few more complicated recipes. After all, Christmas just isn't Christmas without a pile of star-shaped Linzer cookies.

This year, I knew time was short. I decided it was time to keep things simple and avoid any recipes that would take more than an hour to complete. I incorporated a few new recipes into the mix, but the Linzers were out. There was no time for cookie cutters and such.

As I compiled various cookies into various tins, mourning the lack of pretty stars on top, Alexis sat munching on a giant portion of Puppy Chow. As she shoveled the stuff into her face, she turned to me and said, "Momma, this is the best Christmas ever!"

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I'm grateful to have a little someone in the house who constantly reminded me that although Christmas wasn't quite perfect this year, it was indeed the best Christmas ever.

Easily Shattered, but Never Broken

She wears her heart in her front pocket. She likes to keep it handy in case she meets someone she thinks deserves it.

Nana is one of those special people who can hold Alexis' heart. To say it's a case of absolute adoration would be an understatement. That's why it came as no surprise when she asked to buy a special gift just for her Nana and just from her.

I steered her towards a jewelry counter and found a few things that were within her budget. She pondered, she thought, she considered, and then she set her sights on something in the case that I hadn't noticed--a sterling silver heart-shaped pendant with a pink crystal in the middle. I spotted her a few extra dollars so that she could make her big Christmas purchase.

She dutifully helped me wrap the gift she had carefully selected, steering me towards the perfect wrapping paper, the perfect ribbon, and the perfect name tag. She carefully signed her own name in the "From" space and eagerly awaited the gifting hour.

As soon as we stepped foot in Nana's house, Alexis ran to the pile of gifts to find that something special. Her eyes were glowing as we carefully explained that we wouldn't be opening gifts until the next day. "Ooooo-kay," she sighed.

The next day, she again ran over to the pile of presents and found that something special. She picked it up, her smile radiating the warmth of a million lightbulbs, and rushed to find her Nana in the kitchen.

Nana was elbow-deep in dead animal guts. As the resident vegetarian, I'm not entirely sure what it was, I just know it wasn't a prime moment for unwrapping a gift. Nana told the child as much. As the anticipation changed to disappointment, you could see the joy falling from Alexis' face.

Dejected and hurt, Alexis came running back to me. "I want to leave," she sobbed. It took over ten minutes to help the tender-hearted three-year old pick up the pieces of her broken heart and put them back in her pocket.

She wears her heart in her front pocket. Sometimes I wish she hadn't gotten that part of my DNA.

The Tale of Captain John Smith and Pocahontas (With a Side of Mermaid Barbie)

Once upon a time, there lived a woman with wild hair. Her name was Pocahontas.

One rainy Christmas day, she met Captain John Smith. Upon seeing his super sexy boots, she instantly fell in love.

Captain John Smith loved her right back. I think it might have been because she has cute feet.

All was perfect between Pocahontas and Captain John Smith. They played together, they laughed together, they even laid in uncomfortable positions on wood floors together.

Then one day, Mermaid Barbie came along.

Captain John Smith wasn't sure what to think of this stranger with the scaly fin. Until he saw just how bendy Mermaid Barbie was, that is.

Captain John Smith tried to ignore the hot bendy blond, but she refused to go away.

At first Captain John Smith tried to make things work with both women.

But Mermaid Barbie was having NONE of that nonsense. She gave Captain John Smith an ultimatum. And a kiss.

According to the Puppet Master in our story, Mermaid Barbie wasn't just bendy and hot, she also had a lot of money. Captain John Smith just couldn't say no to that winning combination so he kicked Pocahontas to the curb and settled in for a life with Mermaid Barbie.

But, alas, Captain John Smith was a good-for-nothing cheating scuzzbucket. He had cast Pocahontas aside for the hot bendy blond, but karma would soon come back to bite him in the plastic ass.

Captain John Smith found himself alone, with only his boots to keep him warm.

Serves him right.