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Tuesday
Nov032009

You're Doing it Wrong, Minot

I thought I knew how Halloween was done, but really I had no idea.

I thought trailer parks were the best place for candy. When I was a kid, we always hit at least two trailer parks because the po' folk give the BEST candy. If you wanted Bit 'o Honey or Jolly Ranchers, you went to the neighborhoods with the big houses. If you wanted Reese's cup, Snikers, and gum, you strolled down the streets lined with single-wide mobile homes.

I thought you had to knock on the door if you wanted the homeowner to acknowledge your existence. Before you go knocking, though, you better make sure the porch light is on. No porch light, no candy. Period.

I thought trick-or-treating was for kids. There were those questionable teen years when you're probably too old for trick-or-treating and had to balance the desire to be cool with the lure of candy. It was hard to claim to be cool if you were 13-years old and still going door-to-door. Any older than that? Forget it.

I was so wrong.

When we moved to this neighborhood, I knew we had found our kind of people. When Halloween night rolled around, I nearly wept with joy. As the clock struck 6:00, people poured out of their houses. In a matter of minutes, hundreds of costumed kids appeared out of nowhere, laughing and smiling as they walked house-to-house. The kids didn't have to check porch lights or even walk up the sidewalks, though. Nope. Instead, they walked up to adults in driveways who looked to be set up for a tailgating adventure at Heinz Field. I kid you not, there were costumed adults with tables and chairs, buckets and buckets of candy, and coolers filled with beverages in front of nearly every house.

It wasn't trick-or-treating. It was a BLOCK PARTY.

As the kids collected candy so elaborate and extensive that even *I* was impressed, some adults collected beverages. "Trick-or-beer!" they would exclaim. I had no idea this concept even existed, but the police officer set up at one street corner to keep an eye on the festivities clearly did. As he handed out candy to the kids, he remarked that our neighborhood is the best one around for celebrating a holiday.

I think I need a redo for the past thirty-two Halloweens. I thought I knew how to celebrate the holiday, but clearly I've been doing it all wrong.

Monday
Nov022009

50 Pounds of Solid Courage

As we approached the green-faced witch, I whispered, "Say it."

Alexis gripped my hand tightly as she slowly inched closer. She cautiously whispered, "Trick-or-treat" before quickly dragging me away from the stranger.

"Good job!" I told her. Most days the kid makes Michigan J Frog look outgoing. I try not to worry about her painfully shy ways, except for when it borders on rude. No child of mine is sticking out a bag and silently demanding candy. Period. "Now, next time let's see if you can remember to say, 'Trick-or-treat,' AND, 'Thank you,'" I urged her.

"OK," she replied.

And so it went, house after house, person after person. I repeatedly reminded her to be polite, and she repeatedly tried to rip my arm out of its socket as she dragged me far away from the strangers. Depending on who you ask, her success rate differs. I think she managed to be polite to about five people, but if you ask Alexis, she'll say it was way more than that. As we rounded the neighborhood, Alexis asked to stop at our house so she could tell Daddy how good she had done.

After she was done reporting her successful use of manners, I asked Mr. Husband to find the Bulldog's leash. I figured we would take her with us and hit a few more houses. I might have mostly been interested in acquiring some gummy candy, but I'll never fully confess to anything other than wanting to get the Bulldog engaged in a little exercise.

Alexis was THRILLED to have the Bully Beast as a companion. Meg was sporting her ridiculous pink princess costume (Sorry, but a face like that demands to be forced to wear clothing). I held her leash in one hand and a flashlight in the other as Alexis danced around the two of us, trying to find a way to grab one of my hands. All the while, she chattered to Meg and pointed out the houses that looked like they were handing out candy.

At some point this summer, I forgot how much of a spectacle a Bulldog can be. If you ever find yourself desperate to get people to talk to you, get a Bulldog. I guarantee that the snorting and wiggling and general exuberance the breed radiates will have people stopping in their tracks to acknowledge the beast with you. The trip down the street to trick-or-treat was no exception. EVERYONE stopped to pet The Beast, some even digging out cell phones so they could take a picture of her obnoxiousness.

"Everybody likes our dog," Alexis commented proudly.

"She's pretty crazy, isn't she?" I asked.

"Yeah, but I love her," Alexis replied.

And then something happened. As we walked down the street, Alexis stopped struggling to find a way to hold my hand. She started to let the distance between us grow. Then she --SHE WHO IS TOO SHY TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH A STRANGER-- walked up to a door.

All.

By.

Herself.

"Trick-or-treat!" she said to the homeowner.

I stood twenty feet away, unable to move. I was in shock. Totally, completely in shock. If I had tried to take a step, I'm certain I would have tripped over my own jaw as it sat dropped to the ground.

Then she did it again.

So, I now have a plan. Any time the kid is about to embark on a mission that involves strangers, I'm going to strap the Bulldog to her back. Apparently courage comes in the form of a 50-pound, slobbering, wrinkly, stinky dog.

(The kid thinks she's Madonna and needs to have at least six wardrobe changes per day. By the time she had worn the Violet costume to school and for photos, she was TOTALLY over it. So, she went trick-or-treating as Gabriella from High School Musical, except she only wore the wig for about 3 seconds. So, really she was just a short person in a red dress.)

Sunday
Nov012009

Christmas Crazy for Kids

If you've been reading for any length of time, you know that I have a . . . uh . . . "thing" for Christmas. As in, I like it. A lot. I especially like the decorating and stringing lights and giving presents and decorating and did I mention that I really like the decorating? Well, I do. A lot.

This year I wanted to spread a little Christmas cheer to some kids in need. Things didn't exactly go as I had hoped, but enough people said, "We can dooooo this," that I figured I better not let it drop.

So.

Christmas Crazy for Kids.

The mission: To raise $1000 and hook up a whole lot of kids with some really fantastic toys for Christmas. The deadline: November 15th. After that, I'll be taking every penny that winds up in the PayPal account, doing a little shopping, and delivering as many toys as possible to Toys for Tots (via Stuff-a-Bus) and the kids at a local domestic violence shelter (specifically HOPE Center).

There are two ways you can help.

Donate: There's a handy-dandy Give Christmas Crazy button over in the far right column. Click that and it'll take you to a PayPal page where you can make a monetary donation.

Advertise: Revenue from all advertising sold on this site between now and November 15th will be added to the Christmas Crazy for Kids monies. Email me at burghbaby (at) gmail.com to reserve your space.

Image Links--$50 per month: Your image linked to a site of your choosing over in the far right column. It will be the same size as the Give Christmas Crazy image (150 x 150). Images will be placed in the order in which they are received.

Text Links--$20 per month: Your text linked to the site of your choosing over in the far right column. Text links will be placed at the bottom of the column.

Let's spread some Christmas Crazy!