I'm Sure Someone Will Get Mad, but These Are Our Rules
From time-to-time someone will comment that Mr. Husband and I seem to be pretty relaxed with this whole parenting thing, especially for so-called Newbies. That's probably a true statement as we really do try to let her do her own thing. We want her to grow up to be her own person, confident in her own decisions, and secure in who she is. I've compared us to the bumper pads at a bowling alley. We're there to keep Alexis headed down her path, but we're OK with whatever direction she takes to get there, be it a straight line, lots of bouncing back and forth, or a combination of all of the above. We'll support her as we let her do her thing, but within our boundaries.
Our boundaries are actually pretty basic--she is free to do what she wants, just as long as she doesn't do harm to herself or others. So she can go to whatever college she wants, or not go to college at all. She can choose to be a devout Catholic, or pray to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. She can watch Princess movies until I puke, or she can decide she hates them forever and ever. We may not like every decision she has or will make, but we will support her to the best of our abilities, and will always challenge her to be the best she can be.
What she can't do is something like dance half-naked on top of her craft table, tempting the fates of balance and partaking in high-flying shenanigans. She spent 30 minutes in time out for that infraction last night. This morning when she decided the puppy HAD to sit in her lap and resorted to choke holds and malicious head smooshes to convince him, she got in Big Trouble, Mister. For the past few weeks she's been acting out at daycare by hitting and scratching, and you can't even imagine the hell she has had to pay for behaving like that. It's never OK to hurt other people.
Nor is it ever OK to take away people's rights. I don't care if someone is black, white, purple, short, tall, smart, dumb, Muslim, Christian, a Scientologist, fat, skinny, gay, straight, or all of the above, she will allow them to live their life as they see fit. If Alexis were to some day do something like, say, vote in favor of California's Proposition 8, or vote to deny a gay person the ability to adopt a child, we will have failed.
You can hide discrimination behind a guise of religious beliefs, through a veil of double-talk about definitions, or say that you are protecting the sanctity of that which is so easy for a drunken Britney Spears to have on any night of the week (or even every night of the week, if her lawyers are good and quick with the annulments), but it's still discrimination.
Everyone deserves to be treated equally.
And in this house? We will not tolerate intolerance. Period.
If you don't agree? At least you can take solace in knowing it doesn't affect you.
Monday, November 10, 2008
