Climb Aboard the Creepy Train

October seems to have decided to blow by at the speed of light. (It could stand to hurry up a wee bit more, btw, because any and all election mentions make my head explode at this point.) I looked at the calendar yesterday and realized that if I wanted to finish with the Halloween decorations before Christmas, I needed to get on it. So, Alexis and I ventured into the yard to work on the last few decorations for the yard.

I've mentioned that Alexis is a WUSS and is scared of all scary Halloween stuff, and I had thought about toning it down this year. Then I thought again and figured she could either get on board the Creepy Train or just hide in her room until November. The Creepy Train ain't stopping. So, I pulled out my favorite decorations, the ghost lanterns that I like to hang in our big Oak tree.

Alexis was not a fan of the ghost lanterns. At all. As soon as I lifted one out of the plastic tub, she started whining and whimpering and complaining, "I no like goats, Momma."

I wanted to reply, "I no like wussy chicks and they are ghosts, not goats." I didn't, though. I just ignored her and kept on putting up the ghost. Then another ghost, then another ghost.

Alexis backed further and further away, continually saying, "Put dem away, Momma!"

I ignored her. The Creepy Train doesn't stop for wusses.

Finally came the big payoff. I carefully led the extension cord through the yard and plugged in the entire ghost colony with a flourish. "Taa daa!" I said.

Alexis looked at the ghosts. Alexis looked at me. Alexis looked at the ghosts. Alexis looked at me.

Suddenly, she took off running, fast as she could. She ran and ran and ran, not once looking back.

She grabbed hold of the first ghost she could reach and yelled, "Ook, Momma! Pretty lights!"

Uh huh. This kid is gonna LOVE living here in a few weeks when the Light the Place Up Like a Griswold Train starts rolls through.

An English Bulldog Mention because I Wasn't Home Tonight

Miss Megara Madison takes her title as The World's Most Annoying English Bulldog very seriously. She goes out of her way to knock things over, leaves slobber all over the floor, blows snot out of her nose onto my computer screen, and generally does exactly what she wants no matter what anyone says.

Except, for some odd reason, she will listen to the short person in this house. She won't do actual commands or anything; that would just be silly. But, if the short person wants to, I don't know, maybe lure the snoring couch potato into her play house? All the short person has to do is pick a few tomatoes. Meg will follow her anywhere while she's holding tomatoes.

I need to figure out how to harness the power of the tomato toting Toddler.

(Thanks for picking up my slack, Mr. Husband.)

A Very Lame Attempt at Changing the Subject

I've been trying all day to think of something to say, some way to change the subject, some way to make it all better. I have nothing. Every time the Toddler inaccurately uses the plural when referring to the dogs, every time she asks for "Ja-jine," every time I realize I just walked across a room without kicking a white furball who spent the vast majority of her life under my feet, and every time I sit down and nobody jumps into my lap, it's like a kick to the gut. A very not nice, many years premature kick to the gut.



But, thank you all very much for your comments. While they don't "fix" anything, it means a ton to know that y'all are so incredible. You really, really are and have proven it so many times.



So, thank you.



Hopefully tomorrow will suck less and I'll have something to write. Until then, the Toddler managed to provide me with a spectacular way to change the subject. I've been trying to catch this on video for a while, and while the quality is crappy and Dancing with the Stars had the audacity to distract the kid and make her cut the performance short, it's still freakin' hysterical.



I present 10 seconds of P!nk's So What, as sung by Miss Alexis: