Every Time I Think I Know What to Expect

Alexis and I have had many battles as of late over her daily choice of attire. When the battles first started, I had thought about just letting it go. There are, after all, much more critical issues for us to fight over. (Like how she WILL quit wasting Snickers bars by putting them in her mouth then saying "I don't like it" and throwing away a perfectly edible piece of chocolate bliss.) However, after further pondering, I figured I'm bigger, I'm the boss, and really I plan to have a say in what she wears for the next 16 years or so.

With images of slutty Halloween costumes and super-short mini skirts in mind, I went to war.

I've mentioned that Alexis flat-out refuses to wear anything other than sleeveless sundresses. That was really a very predictable response that she developed after way too many people told her she looked beautiful/cute/pretty/whatever in the sundress of the day all through the summer. So, I implored everybody to start working on reversing that effect over the past few weeks. In order to get people to compliment her shirts and pants, though, I had to get her IN them.

That's been fun.

Like, a going to the dentist for a root canal variety of fun.

Yet, I've persevered. The weather hasn't been all that warm and cozy, so really I'm doing the kid a favor when I force her to don long sleeves and pants. If you asked her about it, though, I'm sure that she would tell you I'm the most horrible mother of all time.

Whatever.

I made it through three days last week. There were three good-sized battles, lots of tears, many screams and shrieks, and a generally unhappy Toddler. She was a warm toddler, though. A warm toddler who was repeatedly complimented on her super-cute owl t-shirt, or whimsical Snow White sweater, or adorable little jeans.

Then came Saturday. A warm-ish Saturday at that. Alexis and I were to have a girls' day out shopping, and I really didn't care what she wore. So, I sent her off to her closet to pick something. Anything.

She came back with a simple little Hello Kitty t-shirt. Then she said, "Momma, where's my pants?"

Or, at least I think that's what she said. I can't be entirely sure since I passed out cold from the shock of it all.

(You would think I would have a photo of this monumental occasion where the Toddler willingly wore pants and a shirt. You would be wrong.)

If You Aren't Old Enough to Vote, Your Skirt Better be Down to Your Knees

Last night Alexis attended her first ever Halloween Party. It was something she had been eagerly looking forward to attending, so despite the fact that she was a total and complete butthole at daycare yesterday, I begrudgingly let her go. The "begrudgingly" wasn't just because she very much so deserved to spend her night locked in the basement closet with rats and cockroaches either. It was also because 50 TODDLERS. 50! In one place. Together. At once. With the kids outnumbering the adults. 50!

The party took place at the facility where Alexis goes for gymnastics lessons, so there were some familiar faces in the crowd. That may very well be the only reason I survived the evening filled with screaming short people. Well, that, and the fact that there was much "observing" to do.

In fact, I learned a lot about toddler costumes last night. For example, I learned that it is a Minnie Mouse sort of year. I guess Alexis wasn't the only 2-year old to have her heart set on the polka-dotted dress because there were no less than eight Minnies in attendance. That was GREAT news to the one and only Mickey. That little guy was in heaven with all that girly rat tail running around.

I also learned that Hannah Montana is quite the phenom amongst the not-yet-in-kindergarten crowd. She was also all over the place. Or, at least I think it was her. It's hard to tell when there are so few Toddlers willing to wear a wig for more than a few seconds.

However, the most prevalent costumes for little girls were High School Musical related. There were girls in little cheerleader outfits. There were girls in Sharpay outfits. There were girls in THIS Sharpay outfit. Um, that costume? Is a FAIL. Mamas, please don't dress your four-year olds up in skimpy, provocative clothing. That costume shouldn't be worn by anybody, but most especially not by the Yo Gabba Gabba crowd.

*steps off soap box*

Anyway, I guess all my muttering about how it would be nice if people would put actual clothes on their kids when in public was heard by a certain little someone with big ears. Today she and I went on a little shopping expedition and at one point came across two sluts lovely high school-aged girls dressed up in their whore-ish lovely Halloween costumes. One was the Slutty Cop and the other was the Slutty Prisoner. Very classy. As they strutted past us, Alexis looked up at me and asked the million dollar question, "Momma, where those girls' clothes?"

Mighty Morphing Minnie x2