Day Eighteen

Because Mila is five and very much so like every other five-year old in the world, she cannot be expected to keep herself busy all day while I work. She's very fortunate to have a big sister who lives to entertain her, but she's still left with a few hours every day when she goes looking for trouble.

Honestly, Mila doesn't need to look for trouble. It finds her just fine when she doesn't. When she does? ARGH.

Thus, I've been acquiring things. Many things. Mostly I've been acquiring crafty things because crafty things are exactly the things that keep Mila busy for a good chunk of time. She spent a lot of the first week painting everything she could get her hands on, which is exactly why there are paint spots all over the floor spread all across our house. It's not like I spread a giant plastic tarp in the dining room specifically so she wouldn't make a mess, or anything. Of course she had to wander around dripping paint all along the way.

OF COURSE.

The other thing I acquired is a sign of my insanity, but I'm not afraid to admit that I'm getting desperate.

I bought a looooooot of sporks, y'all.

Like, 1000 of them.

It turns out that it's incredibly difficult to acquire a small box of plastic sporks when you're a little desperate and need them to be delivered to your house. I can't leave the house for sporks, you know. They're important, but not essential.

I also purchased a giant pile of pipe cleaners.

And enough googly eyes to last about ... 17 years.

And clay.

And popsicle sticks.

Basically, I bought Forkie DIY kits. I bought enough to make a looooooot of Forkies. I bought so many Forkie supplies that Mila managed to keep busy making all sorts of variations of her favorite Disney character for HOURS. Legit, I think she spent a total of four hours making new friends on the first day and other hour or two every day since.

So if you happen to overhear a tiny voice yelling, "I am trash!" at the top of her lungs, that's why. It's not low self-esteem, it's Forkie. All of the Forkies.

(For those interested, here is the stuff I bought off Amazon. I am muchly conflicted about giving Amazon money right now, but Forkie. I needed Forkie. And, yes, this was like $50, but there is enough stuff to keep Mila busy for a good long time.)

Sporks
Pipe cleaners
Clay (this is REALLY good clay - it's soft but not sticky and really easy for little hands to work with)
Popsicle sticks
Googly eyes

Day Seventeen

The good news is that for me, work is very much so the same. It's weird not being able to haunt the people I need when I need them in person, but mostly it's fine. Apparently I'm just as intimidating via web call as I am in person? We'll pretend that's what it is.

My new co-worker, though. She's ... not cooperative.

Do not be fooled by that cute face. Either of those cute faces, even. We've always called Penny a "Tibetan Terror" instead of "Tibetan Terrier" because she's forever going to be a toddler who spends her days looking for rules to break. Funny thing, that, because now there's two rule breakers in the house. It's very possible that Penny is the one who trained Mila.

Oh, Mila. Geniunely she has been doing really well for the past two weeks. She has zero interest in this whole homeschool thing we're now trying to do, but she's not wrong when she says, "I want to go to school but not to do the work. I just want to see my friends."

I feel that way about a lot of things right now.

But, after a little over two weeks of genuinely being awesome about having her world turned upside-down, Mila is now broken. Today was the day that broke her. I think we all have different tolerances for the chaos and uncertainty around us, and each of us will have a really bad day at some point if we haven't already, but TODAY was Mila's day. She was a MESS.

There were a lot of tears and a lot of screaming and from where Mila was sitting, everything was terrible. We started the day with her demanding to watch a very specific episode of My Little Ponies. It was the episode where "they were looking for something," which is great because out of the 210 episodes available On Demand, I think that's the plot of EVERY SINGLE FREAKIN ONE, KID. Mila kept yelling and being crazed about it, but eventually I just walked away and let her deal with her feelings in peace. Which, by the way, works really well with Mila. She is very easily distracted when she doesn't have someone to throw her feelings at.

The hour or so after that meldown was her peak for the day. It was all downhill from there.

Right up until a little something changed her day.

The girls' cheer program started doing practices via Zoom today. Mila has had classes for dance and LOVED them, so I figured cheer would also go well. It went more than well. It completely changed her entire outlook on life. She bounced through the entire thing and grinned from ear-to-ear and followed directions and gave it every ounce of effort she had. And then some.

Cheer made her day better. Freakin' cheer.

I'm so definitely going to end up with two cheerleaders. UGH.

Day Sixteen

Everybody is in this same boat, but HOOBOY do I have a lot of jobs right now. I am a Product Manager by day, a Blogger by night, and somewhere in the middle I am a Kindergarten Teacher, an 8th Grade Teacher, a Cheer Coach, a Dance Teacher, a Principal, a Custodian, a Lunch Lady, a Guidance Counselor, the A/V Guy, and let's not forget that whole Mom thing. That one is probably sort of important and stuff.

I need to be fired from at least 8 of those jobs. Possibly 9. Legit FIRED.

The one that I'm failing at most is Kindergarten Teacher, but anyone who knows me could have guessed that. As much as I love age 5, I love the free-spiritedness and funny things they say. I do not want to tame it in any way, shape, or form. Mila says "Spaghetti" incorrectly? YOU JUST SHUT YOUR FACE. I don't want her to say it correctly. I like to cling to her wrongness with all of my soul. Don't color inside the lines, Mila. Be free! Be creative!

The packet of homework she has to complete and turn in each week begs to differ. It celebrates neatness and proper spelling and pronunciation and blurgh. It's stupid.

Oh, and it is a "packet of homework." Mila's teacher is emailing a packet each Monday morning and it's due by Friday. That's how distance learning is going to work, apparently. It's pretty great. I always wanted to squeeze 4-5 hours of school work into my day, which I have to because kindergarteners can't read directions. Sometimes Mila can look at a worksheet and figure out what she's supposed to do, but not usually. Because words. Reading. She's not there yet.

Also, her attention span is right up there with ... every five-year old. She's slightly more focused than I am, but SQUIRREL! Wait. What? Was I saying something?

Look, the kid will never be good at sticking with one thing for long periods of time. It's not in her DNA, and it's DEFINITELY not something she has developed at this point in life. Trying to get her to just do her homework requires bribery and trickery and all of the ice cream.

Sometimes I let Mila eat the ice cream, even.

So, fire me. PLEASE fire me.

Why can't I seem to get fired from these teaching gigs?