For the Potterhead

Let me impersonate Captain Obvious for just a minute and say having kids changes you. It turns you into a person who sits in their car alone, enjoying pure silence. It makes you think of things like hiding a candy bar inside the bag of frozen vegetables. Being a parent is treasuring going to the bathroom alone because ALONE. YOU GOT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM ALONE. ENJOY IT.

Kids make you glamorous. It's true.

They also warp your mind.

I started today with a few hours to do anything. Anything at all. I had to get to Heathrow Airport, but that was my only set-in-stone task. So I worked for a few hours because OBVIOUSLY and then headed out into the big wide world.

All of London was at my fingertips. I could have waved to the Queen. I had the chance to visit a museum. Big Ben. Anything. ANYTHING AT ALL.

I went to Platform 9 3/4. Like, THE Platform 9 3/4. Honestly, it means nothing to me because I haven't managed to watch a single Harry Potter movie and I read all of 20 pages of the first book because ::yawn::.

Don't come at me. Remember that I have the worst of attention spans. The list of movies I haven't seen is longer than War and Peace.

The real Platform 9 3/4 is nothing more than a tourist trap/store. You can stand in a very long line to get your picture taken with the wall and then you can give them all of your money for a wand, t-shirt, or whatever. I knew that, and yet I went. Because Alexis. I gained nothing from going but I knew Alexis would think it was the bestest thing in the world if I took a few photos there, so I did. By the way, she messaged me about every photo I posted to Instagram with things like, "MOM" and "NO WAY!" and "OMG!!!!!!"

I think maybe she was impressed.

Man, having kids changes you.

Vacation Time

For those of you who have been around for a while, no worries. My birthday jinx is alive and well. I've opted to pretend to not notice the annual event in the hopes that if I don't make eye contact with it, it will stop following me around. While I'm ignoring it, I'm looking for some happy. It can't hurt, right?

I FOUND SOME HAPPY!

Eleven days ago, my boss asked me the question, "What will I owe you if I give you an all expenses paid trip to the UK?" The answer is A WHOLE FREAKIN LOT, BUDDY for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is the fact that I'm already in the UK. As in, I had a week's notice. I have already smashed the expert level at the game of Doing Things at the Last Second, so I don't really need help with that one. I am just fine on my own booking travel way later than I should. With help, I do things like jump on a plane for a 12-hour trek a week after making the decision to go.

I expected those 12 hours to be super miserable. Booking that late almost certainly means you're getting the worst seat on the plane. By the way, the worst seat is the one right next to the bathroom. There is no other place that is treated to quite as many scents and quite as much humanity as by the bathroom. It's just not nice. I expected misery, and then I wasn't able to check-in online. I'm not entirely sure why, but I couldn't pick a seat or check-in or anything. I had to go to the airport to lay claim to a seat.

That's ... not good. It's especially not good for an international flight.

The whole "this is going to be awful" situation led to me breaking my own rules about arriving at the airport as late as possible. I've mentioned before that I like to be the last person on the plane and it is entirely true. I have won the game if I'm last, but the crew didn't have to hold the plane for me. I just want to stroll on casually, but last. Going to the airport early to claim a seat goes against my entire belief system.

But I did it.

Only to discover that the flight was nearly empty.

As in, there were a total of five passengers on my first flight, which went to Toronto. FIVE. I didn't even have to look at my fingers to count them all!

That right there is a Christmas miracle, except it happened 5 days after my birthday. SO MUCH HAPPY.

I assumed that meant my second flight, the long one from Toronto to London, would be all sorts of full. There would be people falling out of the overhead compartments even as I was jammed up against the bathroom next to a chatty old lady who insisted on telling me about her kids for hours on end.

BUT THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

Instead, my second flight was nearly as empty as my first. There were maybe 50 people on the plane, which was a Boeing 777 and could have held about 350 people. I had rows and rows to myself, with no bathrooms anywhere near my smell zone and all-you-can-eat-snacks within reach.

IT. WAS. GLORIOUS.

Getting back home probably won't be as happy, but now I'm thinking maybe I won't hold a grudge over the whole last-minute travel thing. 12 hours without kids or strangers talking to me and with all the space I wanted for spreading out was almost like a mini vacation. All I needed was a fancy drink.

Best Birthday Ever

There have been a lot of great moments in the past few days, but Alexis' birthday party is definitely ranking at the top of the list. I somehow managed to book Neville Roller Drome waaaaay back in July and I am SO glad I did. We've tried to do a party there for several years now, but I never managed to schedule it in time and it's always been booked solid all through January and February. It was worth the brain space it took to book it early because it was a blast having it to ourselves.

Seriously. Two hours of just Alexis, Mila, and their friends. And, yes, "their" friends because Mila got to invite some of her own people. That was Mila's very special birthday gift to Alexis - hanging out with her own friend instead of stalking her big sister. It worked out even better than I could have hoped.

Alexis had the best birthday ever. It wasn't just because her sister was busy, it was because her people all did their thing to make her happy. She collects good people. It's a fact.

The best best BEST was at the end of the party. The last song the DJ played was "Time of Your Life" from Dirty Dancing. It's a great song, of course, but YOU GUYS. I GOT TO WATCH A REAL LIFE FLASH MOB! The middle school had their talent show not that long ago and "Time of Your Life" was the finale. Nearly every kid at the party was in the talent show so they all knew the choreography. Like, ALL of the choreography. The erupted into dance the second the song went on. As if just seeing a bunch of kids dance wasn't fun enough, they did it on roller skates. It. Was. Hilarious. And so full of falling and failing.

And the roller skating place employees were confused. All of the confused. The looks on their faces when the big lift happened was worth every penny I paid for that party. (BTW, it's weirdly inexpensive to do a party at Neville Roller Drome, especially if you don't buy phone. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.)

Life needs more flash mobs, especially flash mobs with a bunch of great kids.