I'd Rather Walk in the Rain, Karen

Let the record show, HALLOWEEN IS NOT A THING THAT CAN BE RESCHEDULED. Ahem. Halloween occurs on October 31st. It doesn't matter if it's raining or snowing or a school night or what, HALLOWEEN IS SACRED AND SHAN'T BE MOVED.

Not that I have opinions about this or anything.

Alas, the forecast says the weather is going to suck on October 31st, so our little town decided they would just pick up October 31st and plop it into the middle of November 2nd. Which, DON'T DO THAT. I have a very long list of reasons why I vehemently oppose that decision, not the least of which is the fact that they scheduled trick-or-treating for a not normal time (it's always 6pm to 8pm ... AND YET THEY MADE IT 4PM TO 6PM while also screwing up the day) which is a direct conflict with a pretty major school event. Had anyone asked if any kids had plans for that time of day, they would have been met with an army of protests.

Yes, Karen, the kids do have plans for that time of day. All of them. Every freakin' kid in the district had plans of one kind or another between 4pm and 6pm. Trust me.

The whole thing is baffling.

It's especially baffling because I grew up in North Dakota. Snow was the norm for Halloween, rather than the exception. It was also pretty much always too cold to be outside without a winter coat, so forget wearing a normal costume. Unless you were dressed as Flick in A Christmas Story, you were wearing your costume over your coat. Unless ... unless you were wise enough to join in on the greatest idea that ever was had in the great state of North Dakota. We had indoor trick-or-treating. YES, WE DID. Every small (and large, really) business in town had a booth at the college sports arena. We literally all drove to The Dome to go trick-or-treating and came home with a solid stash of candy. And, if you were brave, you then doubled your stash by going around a neighborhood or two. Because, let's get real, we didn't care if it was too cold or too snowy. There was candy to be had and we were getting it.

Which is exactly how Mila feels about Halloween. In her long five years of life, she has never once been deterred by rain or cold when there was candy to be had. Halloween is her Olympics. She trains for a glorious night of candy collection all year round. Everything about Halloween is her favorite thing. She is so dedicated to winning the gold medal for candy collection, she has been doing a Halloween countdown like normal kids do a Christmas countdown. She literally has a paper chain she has been using to count the remaining sleeps standing between her and her Olympics.

So today I had to tell her we needed to add two little circles back on.

Guess how well THAT went.

The good news is that I can now trick-or-treat as a headless mom who got her head ripped off by a very angry little kindergartener. The bad news is that Raging Five-Year Old isn't much of a costume. I might need Mila to deescalate a bit.

Soon

If *this* ::waves wildly from Maine to Hawaii with some extra nods towards the part of the United States commonly referred to as Puerto Rico:: hadn't already convinced you that it's time to show up for every single election, perhaps a little attention to an important issue will? Maybe?

Marsy's Law. It's on the ballot in Pennsylvania next week.

I know you've heard the radio commercials and probably, if you're like me, got frustrated quickly about the clear play to manipulate your emotions. That's a valid response to some of the shenanigans in those commercials. AND YET. There is some truth to the message - currently, in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, victims of violent crimes aren't given some very basic considerations. Marsy's Law would provide crime victims with 15 rights, including the right to:

• be treated with fairness and respect for the victim's safety, dignity, and privacy;
• proceedings free from unreasonable delay and a prompt and final conclusion of the case;
• have the safety of the victim and victim's family considered when setting the bail amount and release conditions for the accused;
• reasonable and timely notice of public proceedings involving the criminal conduct;
• be present at public proceedings involving the criminal conduct;
• be heard at proceedings where a right of the victim is implicated, including release, sentencing, and parole proceedings;
• receive notice of any pretrial disposition of the case, with the exception of grand jury proceedings;
• provide information to be considered before the parole of the offender;
• reasonable protection from the accused and those acting on the behalf of the accused;
• reasonable notice of the release or escape of the accused;
• refuse an interview, deposition or other discovery request made by the accused;
• full and timely restitution from the person or entity convicted;
• the prompt return of property when no longer needed as evidence;
• confer with the government's attorney; and
• be informed of all rights granted by the amendment.

It's some pretty basic stuff, honestly. Several states have already passed Marsy's Law. That said, there is some opposition. It's generally centered on the method Marsy's Law has used to make a difference; not the actual goal of the legislation.

Anyway, go learn about it. And then vote for the side that common sense tells you that you should vote to support.

Just don't stay home on election day. That never ends well for anybody.

HALLOWEEN CANDY GOES ON CLEARANCE IN FOUR DAYS, PEOPLE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

That means there are four days until it is the most excellent time to make one of the most strangely perfect recipes I've ever conjured up in my kitchen. Autumn Corn. It is thusly named in order to prevent people from being too scared to try it because there is no reason to fear the majesty that is melted candy corn. SERIOUSLY. Melt some candy corn, use it to coat popcorn, and magic happens.

It's perfection. And you know you'll be able to find some candy corn on clearance at the end of the week, so it's an inexpensive experiment at worst and a seriously delicious treat at best.

Go forth and do good things.

(This recipe is a repost from 2012. Yes, it has been that long that I've been making this stuff. It is THAT good.)

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Way back when I first made Red Hot Popcorn, it dawned on me that the same concept would probably work with a lot of different kinds of candy. I vowed that I would try it with one particular kind of seasonal candy, in fact.

Candy corn.

I, for one, am not a fan of fall's stereotypical sugar high. I don't hate it or anything, I just don't actively seek it out. There's peanut butter cups to eat this time of year, dammit! If it isn't chocolate, it just doesn't deserve to be at the center of my universe.

That will be changing now that I've seen what happens when you melt it.

It turns out that if you melt candy corn along with some butter and corn syrup, it turns into a fun liquid that is perfect for coating popcorn.

It's caramel corn, but without the caramel. I wanted to call it Candied Popcorn, but Alexis had another idea.

Alexis says it should be called "Autumn Corn" because it's a gorgeous shade of orange that reminds her of the orange trees in autumn.

Who am I to argue with the kid?

It tastes like a candy corn-variation of caramel corn, which makes sense since that's what it is. Except, melting the candy corn and spreading it over popcorn makes it lose some of that overwhelming sweetness. It's like pairing it with popcorn actually fixes candy corn. It's not just edible this way, it's downright fantastic.

Autumn Corn

4 quarts popped popcorn (It doesn't matter how you make it--microwave, stove top, whatever. Separate and discard the unpopped kernels.)
1/2 cup butter
1/4 cup light corn syrup
2 cups candy corn

1. Start by making your popcorn. Place it in a large bowl(s) and set aside. (I had to use 2 bowls because I didn't have one that was big enough to hold it all.)

2. In a large saucepan, combine the butter, corn syrup, and candy corn. Simmer over medium heat until completely melted (8-10 minutes), stirring occasionally.

3. Pour the melted candy over the popcorn. Toss to coat evenly.

4. Place the Autumn Corn in a large oven-safe pan and bake at 200 degrees for one hour. Be sure to stir every 15 minutes or so, breaking up any large clumps.

5. Allow to cool before storing in an airtight container.

Candy corn has never been so good.