She's Not Wrong

This isn't a particularly great photo of Mila, and yet I keep looking at it.

The simple explanation for that is that the photo is of 30-year old Mila. I mean, seriously. THAT is what that kid is going to look like when she's grown. I can clearly see what her face is going to look like as she matures. Other photos have just enough baby still in them to cloud that vision of the future, but that one doesn't.

ANYWAY.

Mila was all snuggled up to me on the couch as I was going through photos from this past weekend. That was one of them, of course. As I scrolled past it, Mila demanded that I stop so she could look at herself. Which, obviously. The kid is 5. She wants to look at herself ALL of the time. She especially wants to look at herself wearing fancy clothes and makeup.

And so she did. And then miss Mila, she who is a mere 5 years old, turned to me and said, "Mom, I make that makeup look gooooooood."

I'm still laughing.

Cornie

It has been a year since Mila was gifted a shoebox filled with trinkets and toys. I know it has been a year because every photo in my Timehop includes The Box. For weeks, Mila was obsessed with that box and took it with her everywhere. She even slept with it.

FOR WEEKS.

Knowing that this all happened the way it did makes me very scared. Very, very scared.

Internet, meet Cornie.

What started as a simple ear of corn picked up in a corn maze has turned into a ... toy? I guess? I think we're replicating Forkie from Toy Story 4, but I'm not totally sure because ZOMG WHY IS THERE AN EAR OF CORN EVERYWHERE I GO?

First Mila named it. Then Mila made arms, a dress, and a face for it using construction paper. And now ... now it is in bed with her. Because of course. Who doesn't sleep with an ear of corn?

I'm very seriously considering making it disappear in the middle of the night. I don't think we can stretch this out over the course of weeks like we did The Box. If I do, should I put enough money in savings to cover one therapy session? Two? More?

Tiny Dragon

Mila's mission in life is to wear a Halloween costume as often as possible, in hopes that strangers will hand her free candy. Candy is everything to her. Which, hmmm, I probably should have kept that in mind when I decided to take Mila to ZooBoo.

Look, the Pittsburgh Zoo is a fantastic place. ZooBoo is a great event. It is NOT an event that includes candy, though. I think Mila ended up with maybe five pieces? All of which were eaten before we even left the zoo, for the record. And two of them were garbage fruit-flavored Tootsie Rolls. Don't @ me. Those things are NOT candy. They're garbage.

ANYWAY.

I took a Tiny Dragon and a Surly Teenager (Alexis' costume was SO life-like!) to the Zoo. Mila had the best time just existing in her costume because obviously.

And, yes, she picked every inch of that out. It took her about an hour of looking at every single eyeshadow palette in Target to pick out the right shades of green and brown, for example.

She did a good job, though. It was almost worth all of the pain and suffering the collecting of the pieces required. Almost.

So ... we walked around the haunted houses and followed our way down the trick-or-treat trail. We rounded the bend and checked out tons of animals, and even stopped for a spell so Mila could eat an overpriced peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

And then we left.

And Mila realized that she only had a few pieces of candy to show for all of her efforts. And to that, she yelled, "MOOOOM. We have to go back to the zoo. I was promised candy! THOSE PEOPLE OWE ME CANDY!"

Better pay up, Pittsburgh Zoo. Mila holds grudges.