The Edge of Summer is the Best

It took four bites before Mila declared herself done with dinner. It was the "dream" dinner she had been wanting all week, french fries and veggie corn dogs, but FOUR BITES. She instantly turned and blurted, "I'm done eating. Who else is done eating?"

I had told her that she could go play outside just as soon as someone was done with dinner and could go with her.

Did you know that a four-year old staring at you and mentally willing you to eat faster will make you lose your appetite? It's true. I powered through, though. And then I quickly went outside with Mila because I was a little scared of what she would do if I didn't.

The second we were outside, Mila scattered. She played on the swings, she rode her bike, she dug in the dirt ... all of the things. The edge of summer, man. It really is the best. All the while, she was a happy little bumblebee buzzing around even as I pulled weeds in the garden. It didn't matter that I wasn't standing right there with her, up until I started touching up the paint on a fairy garden house. The second I grabbed a paintbrush ::whoosh:: Mila appeared.

The helping. OYE WITH THE HELPING.

"We" finished up the fairy repairs. Just as I was putting everything away, Mila screamed. "BUNNY!" She took off as fast as her little legs would carry her to chase the wild bunny down the driveway. In a feat I hope she doesn't repeat until college, Mila managed to run at top speed AND kick off her shoes along the way. Two bright yellow jelly shoes launched in the air, the grass flew as she shredded her way across the lawn, and birds scattered because HOLY COW, THAT KID CAN MOVE.

She chased that bunny all around our house, through both our front and back yard, and then ran into the woods behind our house. BAREFOOT. I caught up just as she had the bunny cornered in its nest, which, WELP. Inches. Inches are what separated Mila from snuggling her new best friend.

But now Mila knows where it sleeps.

I'm going to end up with a "pet" bunny, aren't I?

Placing My Bets

Four things are going to happen this week:

1. Mila is going to give a momma bird a heart attack that will result in her eggs being abandoned because the child absolutely refuses to stop climbing up to a nest in one of our bushes. SHE IS OBSESSED. She's also not scared of the momma bird, so when it flies out at her face, she's all, "HI! WHAT'S UP? LET'S BE FRIENDSSSSSS!"

The whole scene has caused Alexis to scream like the first girl to die in every horror flick ever approximately 15 times. She's still mortified by all things bird-like.

2. Alexa is going to learn to say, "GO AWAY, MILA." Mila is on a "Count to 100" bender which is all fun and games until she makes you join her and then does it 24352309562 times. Alexis figured out that Alexa could probably stand in for us and, thus, a beautiful relationship began. Alexa will count to 100 more than 5 times in a row without complaining. Can she make it to 10? Mila is going to find out.

3. I AM GOING TO DUCT TAPE MILA'S MOUTH SHUT. She has decided she can talk to me the way a teenager might talk to her mother, but on those days when she wants to risk her life by rolling her eyes and dishing out WAY too much attitude. So. Much. Mouthing. Off.

I can't deal.

4. Mila's going to re-remember how to match her clothing. The thing is that the only reason Mila is still a member of society is that she's on a mismatched clothing spree. It's so darn adorable when she pairs things that are awful together. Today was blue unicorn leggings, a pink tutu, a grey cat t-shirt, unicorn shoes, and neon loopy hair clips. None of it worked together and it was glorious.

Tomorrow is school picture day. Will the streak continue? Will she choose a matching outfit? She's capable. Sometimes she nails the fashion mission, other days she wears a red tutu with her green t-ball t-shirt. WHAT VERSION WILL I GET?

I'm betting she matches. Mostly I'm voting that because mismatched would make for AMAZING photos and we all know she can't give me that. See also: she's super being a jerk this week.

I Lose. Again.

Is it possible for siblings to both have a good behavior week at the same time? Or do they conspire to ensure that at least one of them is a jerk at all times? NEVER MIND, I KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT.

This week it's Mila's turn to make me doubt my reason for existence! Hooray!

We're a few days into Mila being SO VERY FOUR, so I think I've figured out what is at the bottom of it. My first hint was the screaming and ridiculous fits. The second hint was when she ate a huge lunch, three snacks, and four dinners all in one day. GROWTH SPURT! Maybe by this time next week she won't be the shortest kid in her class!

I doubt it, but maybe.

As is common with basically all children, Mila is a bear during growth spurts. (Oh, and if you think that is uncommon and it's just Mila? SHUT UP. Let me live in my happy little world where I think it's normal. I need it for my sanity.) By "bear," I mean OMG MAKE IT STAHP.

Saturday night. Saturday night Mila was tired on top of exhausted on top of sleepy, so of course she propped her eyelids open with toothpicks and stared at the television way longer than she should have. I honestly thought she would fall asleep, but somehow she stuck with whatever movie she picked. When it ended, I was all GAME OVER GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH and she was all BUT SNUGGLES.

When Mila screams, "I want snuggles!" what she means to say is, "Ma'am, I am far too tired to accurately describe my feelings, so would you please snuggle with me for 0.000001 seconds so I can fall asleep?" I know that's the translation, but brush your teeth, kid. Remember, this is the kid who has already had teeth ripped out of her head because they decayed in a matter of months, so brushing teeth before bed is not optional. I reminded her that she needed to brush her teeth first about 139513024968234 times, but she wouldn't quit screaming about snuggles and ... oof. It went on and on and I'm honestly not sure which one of us used up more energy yelling.

I do know that we hit a low when she was laying on the bathroom floor squirting toothpaste on my foot because she was mad. It kind of seemed like that was more work than just brushing her damn teeth (or letting me do it - that was offered MANY times), so I lost it. I left and went upstairs without her, which meant she was further away from getting the snuggles she wanted, and WELP. So much melting down. All of the melting down.

Eventually teeth were brushed and she went to sleep, but then came morning. And HOOBOY. She woke up just as fiesty as she was when she fell asleep. It eventually led to me snarling at Mila and asking, "Is this how good girls behave?"

Mila replied, "No, it's how Mila girls behave." So, yes, she is self-aware.