Weirdo

Predictably Four

I think if you look in the dictionary for the definition of "Four-year old," you find a picture of someone laughing hysterically alongside another picture of them whispering, "Good luck." That about sums it up ... life with a four-year old means spending half your time laughing and the other half wanting to hide.

Mila was SO charming yesterday. So very charming.

Guess what she was today!

She and I had to stop at the grocery store after I picked her up from daycare because I've become that person who doesn't buy groceries. At all. I haven't done it in weeks and apparently that's a problem? I don't know. I just know that you can't feed your family buttered noodles every single day. Eventually the older ones will get mad. ::eyeroll::

So, Mila and I stopped for lettuce for tacos. We're nice like that. I planned to buy only lettuce, but I also planned to be a millionaire by this point in life, so we don't always get what we want. I grabbed milk and tried to grab salsa but gave up because grocery stores really should stop moving stuff. Finding salsa should not be difficult, people. If it is, that means I'm not buying it.

ANYWAY.

Somewhere in our quest to find salsa, we walked past the fruit snacks. Mila + fruit snacks = true love forever. But, I don't buy them because they're really just gummy bears and I might as well just buy gummy bears and be honest with the fact that I'm feeding her crap. Either way, I wasn't willing to buy her crap today. I'm a terrible human, I know.

Mila was PISSED. She started chanting, "Fruit snacks. I want fruit snacks. Fruit snacks. I want fruit snacks."

PRO TIP: Annoying mom will NOT get you your way. It will get you yelled at.

When I told Mila to stop being annoying and, by the way, I'm definitely not buying fruit snacks, she escalated from annoying to angry. And whiny. SO WHINY.

SUPER PRO TIP: Whining will result in INSTANT mom annoyance. You stop being cute when you're whining. YOU DEFINITELY WON'T GET YOUR WAY WHEN YOU WHINE.

I didn't buy the fruit snacks.

Mila holds grudges. Two hours later, she was still pissed and whining and yelling about the fruit snacks. I'm never buying them ever again EVER as revenge, but don't ask me where that kid learned to hold grudges because clearly I don't know.

Be charming tomorrow, Mila. Please.

Run, Alexis, Run

Alexis is participating in middle school track. I'm relatively certain she keeps a hat filled with little slips of paper that list things I would never do and draws from the hat on occasion just to keep me on my toes. That's really the only explanation I have for why she would want to do the track thing.

Which, whatever. It will never be said that I only let that kid do the things I enjoy. It's quite the opposite, in fact.

She finally had her first meet, which WHY IS IT STILL SO COLD OUTSIDE? I feel like by the trime middle school track rolls around, spring is supposed to be making its presence known. It's madness that our weather blows so much lately. Despite the chill, I picked up Mila on my to watch some of the meet.

"Where are we going?" she asked. Apparently it's suspicious when I pick her up from daycare early.

"We're going to go watch Alexis run," I replied.

"But ... why?" Mila asked.

"We're going to cheer her on while she runs," I answered.

"No. Why would she run?" Mila clarified that her question wasn't regarding our presence, but rather Alexis' choice of activities.

The line of questioning went on for a while. Mila found it really quite ... DUMB that Alexis would purposely run in a circle. It was even dumber that she would jump over things while running (hurdles) and HOOBOY TRY AND EXPLAIN TRIPLE JUMP.

All the while, Mila kept saying things like, "But why would she run in circles?" and "That doesn't make sense," and "That doesn't sound fun at all."

At least one of my kids understands that the only reason to run is if a deranged bear armed with AK-47 and a knife is chasing you.