On the Fence

I don't watch movies. This is a fact that annoys the heck out of a lot of the people in my inner circle, but most especially one of my favorite co-workers who basically speaks only in movie quotes. If I had a $1 for every time he said something, looked at me, and then rolled his eyes because "OMG YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THAT EITHER?" he wouldn't be my co-worker because I wouldn't need to work. It happens every single day multiple times per day. Every single day he is amazed and disappointed because there's some other "must see" movie or ten I haven't watched.

I don't have the attention span for movies. That's the issue. Thus, unless Disney released it in the past couple of years, there's a good chance I don't even know it exists.

The list of movies I haven't see includes all of the Star Wars movies, the Godfather series ... I mean, this thing goes WAY back. There is no way I'm ever going to dedicate my life to watching all of the things people say I need to watch, so it's fine. I will happily be clueless. It's better this way.

But ... when I travel? I totally watch movies on the plane. It's basically the only time I manage to pay enough attention to know what's happening. It just so happens to be happening on a tiny screen on the seat in front of me. This whole thing has a tendency to go badly, for what it's worth. I have an uncanny ability to randomly pick the WORST movies to stare at. "Red Sparrow" stands out as a recent mistake. It. Was. So. Bad. I hate that I managed to watch THAT of all movies that came out in 2018. I mean, whyyyyyyyyyyyy?

On my last flight, there were only a few choices. Which, whatever. It's not like I'm picky when it comes to this game. I ended up with "Deadpool 2" which ... ugh. IT IS ALSO TERRIBLE. It was a different kind of terrible, though. Like, it was almost entertaining in its terribleness. That is why it was a problem when I didn't manage to finish the movie on the plane. I had like half an hour left, which led to me having to find it On Demand so I could finish it because the only thing worse than a bad movie is an unfinished movie, apparently.

That little trip led to me somehow watching the first "Deadpool." That has now placed me in a weird place. Maybe I want to watch all of the Marvel movies? Maybe not? I'm not positive if I really want to go there, but I have discovered that somehow we own them all. That's a whole other GRRRR for another day, but it's convenient because maybe I should watch them. Maybe.

If I do, where do I start? Is there a particular order for these sorts of things? What should I skip? There are definitely skippable things. Or is the whole idea of actually watching movies dumb? TALK ME OUT OF DOING SOMETHING DUMB, INTERNET.

Don't Eat the Peeps

My children are monsters who expect me to decorate for every little holiday. They have no concern for my (lack of an) attention span. They want decorations NOW. EVERYWHERE. The little one especially is very assertive about her holiday decorating needs.

Alas, I have fully decorated for Easter.

Which means it's that time of year! It's time for me to remind you that PEEPS ARE NOT FOOD.

Is the photo above from this past week? Or is it seven years old? TRICK QUESTION. It might just be both because, no kidding, those Peeps topiaries are STILL going strong. STILL.

Let me remind you how old they are. 2012. I first posted photos of them in 2012. That's more than a Mila ago. I managed to bring an entire human into this world, teach her to walk, and teach her to sing the entire theme song to Gilmore Girls and yet THE PEEPS ARE STILL GOING.

There's a few things you should know. The hot glue didn't necessarily hold up for all of those years. I have had to glue some Peeps back on because while the so-called marshmallows last forever, hot glue has a shelf life, apparently. I've also dropped the topiaries more than a few times. Do you know what happens to old Peeps when you drop them?

THEY SHATTER. LIKE GLASS.

Food isn't supposed to shatter.

My last piece of evidence in the case of The People vs Pees that I've never seen a bug anywhere near the topiaries. Not once. I've had ant invasions numerous years, but never once have they glanced over at the pile of dried out sugar blobs and decided THAT would be delicious. They swarm all over every food crumb Mila leaves behind, but Peeps? NO, THANKS.

Peeps aren't food, you guys. Just back away from them, unless you've got a glue gun all hot and ready.

Lime Cheesecake Tarts

Saturday morning I woke up with a mission in mind: Something green and sweet needed to appear in my kitchen.

Mission Accomplished. Sort of.

Lime Cheesecake Tarts.

I wanted to have a little St. Patrick's Day fun, but I decided to veer from the predictable mint path and go straight for some light and fluffy lime fun. These little cheesecakes are delicate and subtle. They aren't super sweet, nor are they really sour. They are PERFECTION because they are like eating little lime clouds.

Oh, and they are super easy, too.

You start with a package of cream cheese, 3/4 cup of sugar, the juice from two limes, and the zest from two limes.

And don't try to tell me that you don't know what "zest" is. It's the peel from the lime. Just scrape the green off of a lime with a grater and you'll be all set.

Don't have a grater? You should. They are something like $2 at IKEA. (Make your own laundry soap and you'll have paid for that grater in less than a week.)

Take a mixer to the cream cheese, sugar, lime juice, and lime zest until it's smooth and creamy. It takes about two minutes.

In a separate bowl, it's time to make some whip cream. You'll need 1 1/2 cups of heavy cream and a mixer.

At first the cream will make bubbles, but if you keep beating it...

...it'll get thicker...

...and thicker...

And thicker. See those lines in the cream? That's where it's starting to hold it's shape. Your heavy cream has turned into whip cream when you can make little peaks in it and they don't fall over.

It won't drip from your mixer either.

Once your whip cream is all done, you'll add it little by little to the cream cheese mixture, gently stirring until it's completely blended. You'll be left with an amazing no bake lime cheesecake filling that you can use with any sort of crust.

I took the easy route.

You can find Mini Fillo Shells in the frozen section of your grocery store next to the pie crusts. You could also use a graham cracker crust or a standard pie crust. It's all good.

Especially if you garnish it with a little bit more lime zest.

Lime Cheesecake Tarts

3 packages frozen mini fillo shells (or one pie crust--graham or regular)
1 package cream cheese (I have used reduced fat cream cheese and the recipe turns out just fine)
3/4 cup sugar
Juice from 2 limes
Zest from 2 limes
1 1/2 cups heavy cream

1. Take the Fillo Shells out of the package. Ta-dah! You're done preparing the crusts!

2. In a medium mixing bowl, combine the cream cheese, sugar, lime juice, and lime zest with a mixer on low speed until smooth (about two minutes).

3. In a separate large bowl, beat the heavy cream with a mixer at high speed until peaks begin to form.

4. Add the cream cheese mixture to the whip cream little by little, gently stirring to combine the two.

5. Spoon the lime cheesecake filling into your pie crust or Fillo Shells.

6. Garnish with a bit of lime zest.

7. Refrigerate for 10-15 minutes before eating.

8. Try not to eat all of it at once. (I may have failed at this step. It's possible.)