A Terrible Way to Go

When the end of the school year lurks, every single spare 10 minutes is a door I have to run through. I don't know why all of the things happen in May, but they do. "Spare" time is valuable.

Thus, when the sun was still up and I didn't have anywhere we had to be for a solid hour, I loaded Mila into the car with her birthday balloons and headed for some hills. I drug Alexis along for the ride because I can do that. There was exactly one goal - get a good photo of Mila.

I eventually succeeded, but not until after I had 2462341908 photos of a pissed off Mila. This all took place on Memorial Day. We had people over and there was cake and swimming and generally Mila had the best day of her life. When things quieted down and I decided we would quickly go get photos, Mila was in a GREAT mood.

Then I backed out of the driveway with her in the back seat. She fell asleep before I made it past our mailbox.

For what it's worth, it was 7:30. That's an hour before her official bedtime, so NOPE TO THAT NAP. It doesn't matter the circumstances, ain't no reason to be napping right before bed because THAT is how to ruin an entire night.

Buuuut ... I've met Mila. You can't let her have a 10-minute nap. That's an invitation to have her turn into Godzilla. You've got to let her go a little bit longer, but not too long, and UGH. KIDS ARE HARD.

I tried to time it right. I failed, but I did try. So, basically we showed up at my cool hills with the exact right light and Mila was in full-on Beast Mode. She was so angry and so not cooperative and she really wanted nothing to do with photos.

So, what happened? ALEXIS HAPPENED.

All hail the magic of a sixth grader for said sixth grader knows exactly how to get her little sister to giggle. There was a little dancing, a bit of shaking, and then there was a giant mountain of Three Stooges style antics. There's nothing that makes Mila laugh quite like physical comedy and Alexis is a master of the art.

Buuuut ... at one point Alexis decided that "pushing" me to the ground would be the best of the best ideas. She was right, based on Mila's laughter, but ... wilderness. Park. Hills. Weeds. Grass. A wide-open field. Basically, we were standing at the top in the middle of nowhere, which just so happens to be exactly where giant spiders live.

Guess what I squished when I got knocked over by the sixth grader. GO AHEAD. GUESS.

So when you see photos of Mila laughing hysterically, know that it's because she thinks it's FANTASTIC that there's a spider the size of her hand smashed on my bottom.

So Much Giggles

There is exactly one reason there is a pool in my backyard - it was free. A friend of a friend said, "You can have this for free if you just get it out of here." The small above-ground pool had spent a few years in her yard and she hated it. It sat below the shade of a huge tree, so the water was never warm enough and the leaves were always falling in and the whole thing was a hassle.

But for an afternoon's worth of tear-down, I was cool with making it our hassle. The price was certainly right.

I wouldn't have been willing to pay even $100 for a pool. I did not have one growing up and I never cared. We went swimming at the public pool about twice per summer. I never wished for more. That has a bit to do with the fact that I didn't learn to swim until 5th grade, which was GREAT because one of my friends was a lifeguard during the classes when I was learning to not drown. WAIT. It was the opposite of great. It really muchly sucked because she was a jerk about it.

(Funny thing, that. I should have dumped her as a friend after that, but I didn't. She went on to become an even bigger jerk. Listen to people when they tell you who they are, y'all.)

My point is I allowed the pool to end up in our yard because it was free and despite the fact that I couldn't care less about having a pool. It just doesn't appeal to me.

I'm outnumbered.

It has been warm enough for swimming for, what? A week? Maybe two? Mila has lived in that water since them moment she managed to convince Alexis that it was a good idea. The two of them have spent their evenings wrinkly and wet and happy.

So happy.

You can sit in our backyard and just listen to giggles. All they do is giggle. Alexis is on a mission to teach Mila how to swim while Mila is on a mission to not care if she can swim. She has a sister she can cling to and she enjoys sporting her floatie jacket (obviously missing in the pics above, but usually she has it on). It all works.

Which makes me wonder if maybe I missed out as a kid. Maybe if I'd learned how to swim a little earlier and spent a little more time at the pool, maybe I wouldn't still to this day think pools are dumb.

Really, the only thing they're good for is producing giggles. I swear it.

Right On Time

I recently realized that while I'm not terrible at math, I would be REALLY good at it if I could just change how it works. My version of math only has multiple of 5s in it, for example. I can do all things that are multiples of 5s. Forget decimals and fractions and all of that nonsense. Oh, and division doesn't exist - the divided sign means to subtract because all you need is addition and subtraction.

With my version of math, Mila was not, in fact, years late showing up. One Big Sister plus one Little Sister eight years later equals perfection. That Little Sister showing up right around Memorial Day makes for an extra level of perfection, even. If Mila had been born "on time" per whatever due date math came up with, she would have been born just in time to always mess with Dance Recital Weekend. Alexis' dance recital always falls the weekend after Mothers Day, so basically the two weeks before Mila's actual birthday are A Really Bad Idea.

If you go past her birthday, things get messy for other reasons.

Thus, Mila picked the exact right day to be born. She was born at the exact moment that Alexis needed her and the exact moment that I needed her.

Good job, Mila.

As a reward for her most excellent timing, Mila has been gifted with a birthday that gives her parades and a long weekend and the edge of summer. She can honor Memorial Day while honoring people who throw candy to kids on the side of the road. She can honor Memorial Day weekend with swimming,  barbecues, sleeping in late, and with a side of cake. It all adds up to a long list of her favorite things, and how perfect is that?

And, so, when people comment that she must have been the "surprise baby" or "an accident" I will forever reply, "No, she showed up exactly when she was supposed to show up."

And it's true.