Pick a Side, Please

Okay, internet. I need you to pick a side.

On one side, we have a sixth grader. Said sixth grader COMPLETELY can't handle a thing I do. It annoys her so much that we end up going over it at least once a month. There is eye rolling and general annoyance and I CAN EXPLAIN.

On the other side, there's me. I fully admit that the sixth grader's complaint is true. It's not worth the Super Mega Big Drama she creates over it, though. In fact, it's totally normal.

That thing I do is that I can't remember anyone's birthday on the first try.

Meaning, if someone asks me for Alexis' birthday, it will definitely take me a minute to remember it and I might say the wrong answer. I do the same thing for Mila's birthday. I really was there when they were born, but I can screw up their birthdays every which way.

Before you decide I'm a monster, I think it's fair that I explain why I screw up such an important set of dates with frequency. My birthday is 1-23. Alexis' is 1-27. The husband's is 2-21. Mila's is 5-29. See it? See how we're 21 then 23 then 27 then 29? We basically all have the same birth day, so I flip them all the way around all of the time. I try to make Alexis' celebrate on the 29th and move Mila to the 23rd and I'm a mess.

And don't ask me what year anyone was born. I think I remember my own, but everyone else better hand me a calculator if they want me to remember the year of their birth.

I say it's completely normal to confuse important things. Heck, half the world runs through all of their kids' names when they're trying to yell at the youngest. There's nothing AT ALL wrong with my inability to get birthdays straight on the first try. Right? RIGHT? PLEASE SAY I'M RIGHT.

Alexis, on the other hand, thinks I'm a the Worst Mother Ever for screwing it up.

PICK A SIDE.

(Ignore the part where she's really cute and stuff. Cute doesn't make her right.)

Who Is The Boss?

I'm all in on the whole "kids need chores" thing. Not to brag (okay, totally to brag), but I'm really good at assigning duties and then staying out of it. For real, I don't micromanage them AT ALL. I make the assignment and then verify the result, but what happens between Point A and Point B can vary as much as it needs to.

Exhibit A: Mila is a ROCK STAR at changing the toilet paper roll. I showed her how to do it exactly once and she just magically kept going. She consistently remembers to take the empty roll off the dispenser and put a new one on. IT IS THE BEST. The fact that she doesn't pay attention to whether the paper should roll under or over is fine. (The correct answer is over, if we're being honest.) What matters is that she's getting it done. I've never fixed it or expressed an ounce of care, other than the words I just now wrote. She can't read yet, so ... it's definitely not micromanaging. As long as she keeps changing the empty roll, we're good.

My three year old changes the empty toilet paper roll. So magical.

Anyway, both girls have a list of chores they're responsible for doing. Both are age appropriate and get managed as needed, which is to say I have next to nothing to do with Alexis' work. She's old enough for me to remind her once to put things in the dishwasher and if she doesn't? I'll just put dirty dishes in her bed. I've never actually done it, but the threat exists, and she knows I don't bluff. Mila gets a bit more help.

That's how it started. I was providing a little more help because Mila. The project was to clean up the hurricane that went through my family room. "Pick up the markers and put them in the box." "Put the Barbies back in the box." That sort of thing. A little bit micro-managey, but not really because 3-year olds need specific and accomplishable tasks.

Mila started out working with me. The markers made it to the box. The Barbies made it to their box. It wasn't until we got to the third task that Mila looked at me, rolled her eyes, and said, "Mom, I think you mean that the Big One should do that."

As in her big sister.

I refer to the girls as "Tiny" and "Big" fairly often.

So what we've learned is that Mila is an evil little genius who has already learned to delegate her tasks to her big sister.

Look out, y'all.

Cute for a Reason, Again

While Mila is definitely in a difficult phase, she's simultaneously in an AWESOME phase. It's funny how that happens. It's almost like it's a built-in defense mechanism that keeps them alive. Ahem.

First, the difficult. I'm mentioning it only because, after 10 years of blogging, I know how this works; If I tell the internet Mila sucks at sleeping, we'll have a good night. It has worked that way with both girls and I can't think of a single time it hasn't. So, Mila is still sucking at sleeping. It's a combination of "my teeth hurt" which I can't figure out (early molars? maybe? there's definitely big bumps in there) and nightmares. She doesn't have words to describe what's scaring her awake several times each night, but there it is. It's happening several times every night and THIS IS WHY I END UP GIVING STARBUCKS TOO MUCH MONEY OMG.

(Please let the jinx work tonight. Pleeeeeeeease.)

(We had a really long conversation about what kinds of candy you can buy at the candy store in the mall starting around 2:00 am last night and have I mentioned that I don't like kids at 2:00 am? Like, that's when I'm at my worst. I have zero parenting skills in the middle of the night. TONIGHT NEEDS TO BE BETTER.)

But, even as this kid is a mess at night, she's so damn cute during the day that it actually hurts. She has caught on to the game that Alexis and I play where one of us says "I love you" then the other says "I love you more" then the first one retorts with "I LOVE YOU THE MOST I WIN." I mean, the "I win" is sort of implied, but it's definitely a part of the game.

Mila goes straight to winning. She is now saying, "I love you the most!" at least 200 times per day. It's part of every conversation she has and it is SO the best. Much bestness.

And that's the short explanation of why Mila is still alive despite not letting me get more than 2 consecutive hours of sleep lately. FUNNY HOW THAT WORKS.