Fashion Nightmares and Sleepless Nights

Okay, internet, it’s time to give advice. I’m asking for it and I promise to not complain when like three people mistakenly give assvice instead of advice and I know it’s going to happen because here we go with a parenting question …

HELP.

Mila. Nightmares. Now that I’ve had six or so weeks of screwed up sleep, I’ve finally determined FOR SURE that Mila is screaming and awake at night in part because she’s having bad dreams. It took me so long to figure it out because I’m dumb in the middle of the night and I didn’t think to engage her in a conversation. Because, you know, conversations are banned in the middle of the night. I temporarily lifted the ban and have since learned a few of the things that cause Mila to lose sleep.

Blue pants.

Penny looking at her.

Her friend at school sitting too close.

Noodles for dinner.

FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS. MILA HAS THEM.

Basically, she had a bad dream that was about me making her wear blue pants and ZOMG blue pants are the worst so that was definitely a nightmare. Then she had a nightmare that was exactly like her reality because she’s constantly flipping out about Penny making “eye contact” (quotes because Penny desperately needs a haircut and I doubt she can see a damn thing right now). Kids sitting too close is basically a day ending in “y” and I guess if you’re in the mood for waffles, noodles are the worst idea ever.

So, like, it’s not ACTUAL scary stuff that’s freaking her out. If it were, I’d be making monster spray or drawing pictures of scary things or SOMETHING to work it all out. I have absolutely no idea how to make a threenager stop having threenager nightmares, though. None. Is this a wait until the phase ends thing? Is it a blog about it daily because that jinxes her into having a good night thing?

WHAT DO I DO? Nothing? Something? HELP!

A Good Day For Naked Guy Watching

We've reached the point in the festivities where I want to put a wire on Mila and record everything she says. The kid is just plain funny and adorable all day every day and it only ends because kids should be silent between 9:00 pm and 9:00 am. Twelve hour existences are the best, you know?

We took advantage of a free day at the Carnegie Museum of Natural History this weekend and OH MY GOSH. This kid.

She loves the dinosaurs and she loves all the stuffed dead animals and she loves everything. I know that because it's exactly what she said 15389175 times. "Let's go find the dinosaurs!" I would say.

"Dinosaurs! I wuv dinosaurs!" she would reply. And then, "Wook! I wuv this big dinosaur!" and "Wook! The little dinosaur is so cute! I wuv it!"

The exclamation points are important up there. Mila definitely speaks with exclamation points at the end of every sentence right now.

Her enthusiasm stretched from room-to-room and back again. The stairs were great. The Native American exhibit was fascinating. The Egyptian exhibit was filled with pretty things. And the statues?

Oh.

The statues.

If you haven't been to the museum, there is a large hall with giant pillars and bunches of classic statues. They're mostly of men, but there are a few women, and basically the theme is that their not fully clothed. I have no issue with this, but it hurt Mila's brain.

"Why isn't he wearing a shirt!" (Remember, she only speaks with exclamation points. Even questions end with a bit of excitement.)

"Where are his pants!"

"He forgot to put on underwear!"

I had no explanation at the time. In fact, I still don't have an explanation and I literally just spent 20 minutes searching the internet for an explanation that I could have given to a 3-year old. There apparently is no such thing, which is just as well since I made something up.

"None of us wear clothes ALL of the time. Maybe they just got out of the bathtub!" I pseudo-explained.

Mila's response - "Well, that doesn't make sense!"

She's not wrong.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies with Kit Kats

It turns out that it's REALLY hard to say "no" to Mila when she's been really good a bunch of days in a row.

So I didn't.

"Can we make cookies, please?" was instantly met with Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies because SHE IS SO STINKIN' CUTE. Ahem.

But then I added Kit Kats to the cookies because they were in the pantry calling my name and OMG BEST IDEA EVEEEEEER. For reals. They make an already good cookie a little more magical.

Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies (with Kit Kats, of course)

1 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup creamy peanut butter
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
2 cups milk chocolate chips
2 Kit Kats, chopped

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees and line 2-3 cookie sheets with parchment paper.

2. In a large bowl, mix the butter until fluffy. Add the peanut butter and sugars and mix some more. Add the vanilla and eggs and mix again.

3. Toss in the flour and baking soda then finish mixing.

4. Stir in the chocolate chips and Kit Kats. By the way, I'm not kidding about the Kit Kats. They make cookies happy.

5. Drop the dough onto the cookie sheets. I made little 1" balls so my cookies would basically all look the same, but you could just drop it by heaping teaspoons.

6. Bake at 325 degrees for 14-16 minutes, or until very lightly browned.

7. Allow to cool on the pan for 2-3 minutes before moving to a cooling rack.

8. Serve with milk because dunking Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cookies in milk is the BEST EVER.