The Center of the Universe

This past weekend there was a recognition type thing for cheer because, basically, the Big Kid is old and stuff. She's been a cheerleader for FIVE YEARS OMG. How is she old enough to have done anything five years? HOW?

Ugh.

Anyway, the recognition type thing was basically "we're going to read your name over the loudspeaker while you walk across the field." Alexis had to do the walking with her parental units, which OMG SO AWFUL. Who wants to be seen in public with their parents? 

Usually, Alexis is fine with it. There's something about being singled out in front of a crowd that makes her SUPER uncomfortable, though. For as much as she loves being on a stage and dancing and she loves being part of a team and cheering, she really doesn't want to be in the spotlight. She flatly refuses to do solo performances for exactly that reason.

I can relate, for what it's worth. I'm cool with just about anything except being the center of attention. I have about 30 people I want to drag into the spotlight with me no matter what the situation may be.

So poor Alexis stood on that field, completely miserable because there were people looking at her. (I recognize the crazy in this. The same people were watching during her halftime dance. I didn't say hating to be the center of attention ever makes sense.) Miss Mila, though. OH, MISS MILA.

Of course Mila had to be on the field with us because she's three and not allowed to run wild in the bleachers. It's a very reasonable rule written specifically because I've met her. She's lacking that self-preservation gene. Mila started her little on-field adventure very confused. "Why are we in the football game?" she asked at least 2346590358 times.

I wasn't sure how to answer that, by the way. I suspect that if we explained that the mission is to take the ball away from the other players, she'd find a way to crush a whole team of 11 year olds. We maybe SHOULD put her in the game.

She wasn't in the game Sunday, though. She may have tried more than once to go running all around the field, but she failed because I've met her. I knew she would try to bolt. I also knew she would try to bust out a song and dance or jump around like her pants were on fire or anything else from her long list of ways she gets everyone to look at her. Mila really super likes to be the center of attention.

That apparently is a thing that Alexis knows. As we were standing on the side of the field just about to walk across, Alexis began to literally hide behind her little sister. She also tried to bribe her to do something nuts. "Yell HELLO! really loud!" "Are you wearing underwear? You should show everyone your My Little Pony underwear!" "Let's sing like Elsa!" and a dozen other ideas were thrown out.

Basically, it's my job to force one kid to stand nicely and accept recognition for a job well done while I also force the other kid to stand nicely. Being a parent is weird.

 

The Center of the Universe

This past weekend there was a recognition type thing for cheer because, basically, the Big Kid is old and stuff. She's been a cheerleader for FIVE YEARS OMG. How is she old enough to have done anything five years? HOW?

Ugh.

Anyway, the recognition type thing was basically "we're going to read your name over the loudspeaker while you walk across the field." Alexis had to do the walking with her parental units, which OMG SO AWFUL. Who wants to be seen in public with their parents? 

Usually, Alexis is fine with it. There's something about being singled out in front of a crowd that makes her SUPER uncomfortable, though. For as much as she loves being on a stage and dancing and she loves being part of a team and cheering, she really doesn't want to be in the spotlight. She flatly refuses to do solo performances for exactly that reason.

I can relate, for what it's worth. I'm cool with just about anything except being the center of attention. I have about 30 people I want to drag into the spotlight with me no matter what the situation may be.

So poor Alexis stood on that field, completely miserable because there were people looking at her. (I recognize the crazy in this. The same people were watching during her halftime dance. I didn't say hating to be the center of attention ever makes sense.) Miss Mila, though. OH, MISS MILA.

Of course Mila had to be on the field with us because she's three and not allowed to run wild in the bleachers. It's a very reasonable rule written specifically because I've met her. She's lacking that self-preservation gene. Mila started her little on-field adventure very confused. "Why are we in the football game?" she asked at least 2346590358 times.

I wasn't sure how to answer that, by the way. I suspect that if we explained that the mission is to take the ball away from the other players, she'd find a way to crush a whole team of 11 year olds. We maybe SHOULD put her in the game.

She wasn't in the game Sunday, though. She may have tried more than once to go running all around the field, but she failed because I've met her. I knew she would try to bolt. I also knew she would try to bust out a song and dance or jump around like her pants were on fire or anything else from her long list of ways she gets everyone to look at her. Mila really super likes to be the center of attention.

That apparently is a thing that Alexis knows. As we were standing on the side of the field just about to walk across, Alexis began to literally hide behind her little sister. She also tried to bribe her to do something nuts. "Yell HELLO! really loud!" "Are you wearing underwear? You should show everyone your My Little Pony underwear!" "Let's sing like Elsa!" and a dozen other ideas were thrown out.

Basically, it's my job to force one kid to stand nicely and accept recognition for a job well done while I also force the other kid to stand nicely. Being a parent is weird.

 

Gaps in Perspective

Most of the time I genuinely enjoy the giant age gap between the girls. I wouldn't go so far as to say I would have purposely planned it given the choice, but it ain't all bad. Really, it's mostly good. Having a built-in babysitter is pretty great. Alexis is completely enchanted with her little sister, and while she likely would have been even if they were closer in age, some of the novelty comes from the babyness of her little sister. And then there is the joy Mila delivers during Alexis' many activities. You know what makes two hours of cheer more fun? Having a toddler there to serve as a distraction.

"A distraction" is exactly what I wanted Mila to be this morning. Like everyone, I awoke to the horrifying news out of Las Vegas, which at this point has blurred days to weeks to months to years of waking up to horrifying news. Each time I think it's the last time we'll have one of these things, but I guess if a bunch of kindergartners couldn't be viewed as more important than the NRA's feelings, we're lost. 

Alexis isn't there yet, though. She's an empathetic little creature who desperately wants the world to be a better place and she doesn't understand. She can't for the life of her understand why anyone, no matter the situation, would want a gun.

BTW, don't bother arguing with her about it. She is absolutely entitled to her opinion and her opinion is that guns are stupid. If you disagree, she'll tell you that you're part of the problem. Let her be. Let her be because she feels each one of these incidents as if it's the first. She mourns people she's never met and she gets angry that we can't seem to figure out how to fix the problem. She has it figured out, but we grown-ups don't seem to get it. I suppose it's a pretty black and white issue if you don't care about Glock's quarterly earnings statement. She doesn't ... so.

Distraction. I really wanted Mila to be a distraction this morning.

I didn't get my way. Alexis caught wind of the news and did the things she always does when the world fails to make sense. She came to me with a long list of questions, each one harder than the other. I don't have answers for her, so all I can do is point her to facts and encourage research and help her to identify ways she can help.

While Alexis was interrogating, the age gap reared its ugly head. When it's hard, it's hard. Today "hard" looked like one kid sobbing because the world thinks more violence is the best way to deal with violence while the other one decided it was a good day to poke my belly and say "Boop!"

Seriously. In her cutest little voice, Mila kept going, "Boop! Boop! Boop!"  and poking my belly like I'm the Pillsbury Doughboy or something. It went on and on and have you tried to have a serious conversation while a toddler booped you? I don't recommend it. So while Mila did a great job of distracting me, she did nothing to distract her sister. The Big Kid left for school still in a state of sadness and anger while Mila was happily booping her way around.

As I watched Alexis walk to the bus stop, I was relieved that at least one kid was happy.

But then Mila meandered her way to the door to watch her sister with me.

The second Mila stepped foot into the open doorway, she yelled, "It's COLD outside!" and then she burst into tears. 

Alexis was angry that dozens of Americans were murdered for no reason. Mila was angry that it was cold inside. THAT is the sort of hard that the age gap causes.