Two Seconds That Won't Go Away

I vaguely remember that I have a house. I think it's messy or something. Actually, I know it's messy because I am out of town for the fourth time in less than a month, which means the cats have had plenty of time to plan their coup.

Do I still have a house? Could someone make sure it hasn't been converted into a giant cat condo? I feel like Mila would be a big fan of a giant cat condo, so she's probably helping them by collecting carpet scraps and throwing cat nip all over the place.

ANYWAY, I'm in Baltimore. The rest of the crew is at home, likely being forced by the cats to turn the living room into a giant cat scratcher.

Baltimore is an interesting place.

I've been here before (just a few weeks ago, even!), so I already know which direction to head when I have a few minutes. Which, YOU GUYS. I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY CHILDREN RIGHT NOW. I literally don't know what to do with myself. When I don't have to drag kids to dance classes or the playground, when I'm only responsible for feeding myself, and when I'm not spending hours trying to negotiate with a toddler, I have soooooooo much time.

It's like vacation, except that I have a whole bunch of work to do.

Earlier in the evening, I found myself in need of dinner. I wandered down the street towards food, but then was distracted by shiny things like Banana Republic and Gap. They beckoned me from afar, so I moved closer, just in case there was something I needed to know.

After a few minutes, empty-handed but still happy, I wandered a bit further into the shopping center. It seemed like a good time to dash into the restroom, so I did.

While the shopping center was largely empty, there was someone else in the restroom. It was, of course, no big deal. As she washed her hands and fixed her hair, I did the important restroom things, then headed towards the sink. As I approached, I smiled at the woman and said, "Hi." You know, basic human stuff. Baltimore is pretty good at the basic human stuff, which is nice. I've been in plenty of cities where a smile and a "Hi" will be met with a leer or a blank stare.

Not this time, though. This time I watched as a 1000-pound weight fell from the woman's shoulders, relief obviously swept over her, and she managed a small smile in return.

The woman in the restroom appeared to be a transgender woman. I don't know that for a fact of course, but it's probably a good guess. Regardless, it's bugging me like crazy that being in the restroom had her on edge.

It shouldn't be that way.

Goggles Make a Lot of Things Better

There is a thing that has happened. It's a thing that I blame 110% on Target because damn them and their stupid juices with the stupid characters on top. Those stupid juices with the stupid characters on top tend to buy me about 3 minutes of stress-free shopping, therefore they are worth their stupid price.

But.

But those stupid bottles of juice are how it came to pass that Mila asked, "Who's that?" and I had to utter the name.

The most hated of names.

"Dora."

That's all it took. From that day forth, Mila recognized Dora. And she liked her.

Alexis discovered this fact and then proceeded to haul out every Dora toy she could find buried in the back of the playroom closet. She then handed those Dora toys to Mila.

And then ... well ...

Thank goodness for the goggles. Just ... thank goodness for the goggles.

That's It.

I am tired of having nights where I can't think of words to write because all of the words in my head are about tragedy. I'm tired of tolerating hate and ignorance because I realize that there is no hope for some people. I'm tired of trying to be polite.

I'm tired.

That's exactly why I'm standing up, taller than ever. I'm going to beat my drum as loud as I can because I desperately need to make a difference. I don't know what to do, but I'm going to try all of the things.

If you're tired too, here are some things I've found in the past few days:

1. Banning the AR-15 from civilian ownership is a common sense thing to do. I'm not going to bother to argue the why; I'll just say that if you disagree, I firmly believe you either A) Are scared; B) Have a small penis; and/or C) Sleep better at night knowing that at any moment, someone may open fire on a room full of children and kill all of them in a matter of seconds. If you fall under the last category, leave now. You are a monster and you need to leave now.

There's a petition demanding that the AR-15 be banned from civilian ownership here.

2. I'm done with the NRA having a bigger voice in government than I do. I used this website to find out who is being bought and called and emailed the appropriate representatives.

3. Teen Vogue has been showing how reporting after tragedy should be done. I know, it's weird. It's true, though. Their twitter stream has been sobering and helpful and all of the things.

4. Read their names. Look at their faces. We, collectively, allowed Orlando to happen through our refusal to have the hard conversations and our inability to organize to make changes that matter. We owe them a few seconds to learn who they were and what we've lost.

5. It matters that this was a hate crime targeted at LGBTQ people. We have allowed hate speech to go on and we've permitted a world where people have to live in fear because of who they love. We continue to stand by quietly while violence ruins lives. Each time we are cowards and remain silent when hate is spoken, we give it permission to grow. Orlando wasn't the first incident. We've had plenty of opportunities to recognize the need to change our world.

6. As Dwight said, sometimes you need to shut up and listen. (If you have other links that should be amplified, send them to me via comment on this post, Facebook, or Twitter and I will add them.)

There are No Safe Havens Anymore

Biphobia and the Pulse Massacre

Surviving on Small Joys

The Orlando Shootings Were Homophobic Terrorism

These tweets