Who's In Charge

Do your kids fight? Are they constantly yelling at each other, wrestling with each other, or generally tormenting each other to the point that you want to duct tape each of them into their own box and place them very far apart?

It's possible I'm only asking so I can gloat.

These two don't fight. Ever. It's reached the point where Mila can steal something from Alexis' room and Alexis will be all, "But she's so cute!" Mila breaks Alexis' things ALL THE TIME and yet there has never been any sort of yelling or anything like that.

Instead, things like this happen.

That's a very big kid stuffed into a very small shopping cart. Alexis stuffed herself in there because Mila said "Sit down!"

That's all it takes. Mila commands and Alexis obeys. Because this.

Why fight when it's so easy to make Tiny giggle?

That's the long explanation for why it is that Mila will be wearing this shirt every day forever and ever amen.

"I'm the boss of everything."

Truer words, you guys. Truer words.

SKIPPY YIPPEE!®

I've been called a lot of things, but I've never been called a "helicopter mom." That's probably because the only way to survive with me as your mother is to have a healthy sense of self-preservation and the motivation to fend for yourself. 

That pretty much explains why it's Alexis who tells me when it's time to leave for school and not the other way around. She reminds me to sign her homework every morning. She tells me how to make schedules work. She's basically the responsible adult in our equation, which YAY! That means I don't have to be!

Okay, so I do. She's not old enough to drive just yet, so I still have to be the person who runs to the store for groceries and such. When she is old enough to drive, I'm willing to bet she will happily volunteer to do the grocery runs because she will happily go spend all of my money on these.

SKIPPY® P.B. Bites.

You guys. YOU GUYS. We got them for review purposes, but they are quickly becoming a permanent part of our lives. There are two flavors -- Pretzel and Double Peanut Butter and YOU GUYS. Double Peanut Butter. They are peanut butter wrapped in peanut butter and how can they be anything other than amazing? 

They're so amazing that I hid a container. Shhh! Do not tell the small people, but there's a container of SKIPPY® P.B. Bites Double Peanut Butter stashed at the top of a pantry shelf because I might need them. I don't want to share. I am very excited about having a little stash of delicious snacks that are easy to get into and that don't leave behind a tell-tale mess.

Why, yes, I am the sort of mom who ducks into the pantry and eats food she doesn't want to share. So what? It is only fair, after all, since Alexis hid the SKIPPY® P.B. Bites Pretzel in her dance bag.

OH YES. SHE DID.

She thinks I don't know, but I am fully aware that she stashed them so she could grab a snack on the go without having to share.

That not sharing this is working out well for her.

That motivation to fend for themselves thing is working well, obviously.

If you're interested in learning more about SKIPPY® P.B. Bites, check out this little video Alexis and I made. You can also visit Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest.

Now for a chance to win $100 Visa gift card, tell me in the comments below, how will your children enjoy SKIPPY® P.B. Bites? On the go like Alexis maybe?

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This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older (or nineteen (19) years of age or older in Alabama and Nebraska). Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. The notification email will come directly from BlogHer via the sweeps@blogher email address. You will have 2 business days to respond; otherwise a new winner will be selected.

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Leveling Up

While I am conveniently refusing to acknowledge that Easter is done and gone, there was this thing that happened over the weekend with plastic eggs and candy and baskets and such. It was a different sort of thing than would have happened if Alexis were still an only child. This would have been the year that I would have be WHATEVER and maybe stuffed 10 eggs with candy, shoved a $5 bill in another one, and basically threw them at her. I'm pretty sure she still mostly believes, but I would be all about making her face reality.

If there wasn't a Mila, of course.

Because there is a Mila, there were something like 100 eggs filled with candy spread all over the yard. They were not really hidden because Alexis. Alexis would not be able to find her nose if it weren't attached to her face and sometimes I'm not sure even being attached is enough for her. And then there's Mila, and it seems unfair to legit hide something from a one year-old.

Although, now that we're a full day away from the hunting, I can tell you with absolutely certainty that Mila is waaaaay better at finding eggs than Alexis will ever be. That is exactly why Mila has been vibrating from a sugar high for the past day. She keeps finding the slightly more hidden eggs that Alexis missed and busting them open before anyone realizes what she's doing.

It's so bad that she has started to reject yellow jelly beans. Where once Mila inhaled any candy that she touched just in case, now she has standards. I guess that's a good thing?

ANYWAY.

The whole egg hunting thing is decidedly more fun with a toddler. We gave her a head start since Alexis couldn't find her shoes (hahahahaha ... not shocking) and Mila was all "Oh! Oh! Oh! I GOT IT!" each and every time she spotted an egg. She casually worked her way from egg to egg, but then the door opened and Alexis busted out and took off at full speed.

Mila took once glance at a fast-moving Alexis grabbing eggs and switched to top speed. She took off running in the opposite direction and started snatching eggs just as fast as her little legs would allow. Which was pretty fast, if you consider that she's at the exact age when toddlers peak in their similarity to drunken adults. Between the waddling and nonsense talk and all of that, she's amazing.

(Do not mock the video taken the wrong direction thing for I meant to take a photo, but had my phone set to video by accident and, welp, that worked out okay after all. Mostly.)

Mila stayed at full speed drunk cruising the yard for eggs right up until one popped open in her hand. In that moment, time stopped and Mila was all HOOOOOOOOOOLD OOOONNNNNNNN. THERE IS CANDY IN THESE THINGS.

Of note, we're talking about the kid who tried a peanut butter cup for the first time lately and SHIVERED WITH JOY. Literally, she took a bite, shivered, and said "WOW!" before going on with happy little mmmmmhmmmm noises as she finished eating it. She super likes candy, is what I'm saying.

Once Mila realized she had a bucket filled with joy, she sat her butt down and dug in. She would probably still be sitting there if I hadn't picked her up, pried all of the candy out of grubby little hands, and switched her focus to finding her basket. Fortunately, she forgot to be mad at me once she saw said basket. Because Minion. And weeeeeee.

Tiny drunk people make everything better. It's a fact.