Thursday
Jun032010

She Found Her Super Power

We were waaaaay over on the other side of town, having just finished a leisurely stroll through a grocery store that doesn't make me twitch. We all sat in the car, Alexis happily singing along to some random music on the radio, Mr. Husband off in his own little universe, and me checking twitter with my phone. I'm really making an effort to try to use my phone when the opportunity arises, and in the car while Mr. Husband drives is a perfect opportunity.

As I cyber-stalked 600 of my closest friends, I keep seeing mentions of bad weather and a tornado warning in the area. The radio station hadn't mentioned anything, so I poked around a little bit. It seemed there was crazy wicked weather out towards our house, which is exactly where we were headed. It was sunny and clear where we were . . . but then it wasn't.

As we drove closer and closer to home, the weather got worse and worse. At first it was just some wind and rain, but then it became Some Wind and Rain. That was followed by WIND and RAIN and then it was joined by its friend OMG! THAT'S HAIL! and it brought its friends THUNDER and LIGHTENING and ZOMG! WE'RE GOING TO DIIIIIIIIIIE.

Me no likey hail. Nor thunder. Nor lightening.

Neither does Alexis.

She started to whimper as the huge raindrops and pea-sized bits of hail pounded the car. She leapt out of her skin when lightening struck near by. I tried to console her and distract her from the front seat, but really didn't get anywhere.

And then she figured out her own cure for her fear.

She started singing, "Rain, rain, go away . . ." followed by "Thunder, thunder, go away . . ." She repeated both songs twice, each time in her tiny, high-pitched little voice.

And then something crazy happened. It stopped raining AND it stopped thundering.

Alexis sat in the back seat smug as can be. "See? I made it stop raining," she told me.

Later, the rain returned. Alexis immediately busted out her little tune and the rain stopped.

Two thoughts on this newfound super power:

1. Where the hell was she the past two months when it kept raining while we needed to work in the back yard?

2. She's probably going to sing, "Rain, rain, go away" every single time it rains for the rest of her life. I hope people don't stare at her too much.

Wednesday
Jun022010

You Caption It

Since our power is out (thanks, Mother Nature, you wench) and I would rather weave yarn from tinfoil, knit the yarn into a spork, and then stab my eyes out with that spork than type an entire post from my phone, you do the work. Again.

(But, hey! At least I gave in on that smart phone thing! Otherwise, I'd be missing a post for the first time in about four years. Now THAT would really suck.)

Anyway, GO! Caption this photo!

Oh, wait. I should mention that he is yawning. That's pretty much the only thing obese old cats do, but at least he looks wicked doing it.

OK, now GO!

Tuesday
Jun012010

I'm Willing to Take My Lucky Ass to More Games for a Nominal Fee of $50 Per Hour

Mr. Husband and I took several days off this week with the idea that we HAD to finish some projects out in the yard before Olympic mud wrestlers tried to turn our yard into their official training space. That's not to say that we couldn't manage to squeeze in some fun, but then we went and screwed that up by going to a Pirates game.

No worries. I'm right there with Woy on the issue and right there with him in not paying for tickets. The only real reason I took the (free) tickets was because Alexis really does like going to games. A lot.

This particular game she spent whining her face off, but that may have had a little to do with her later episode of praying at the porcelain alter. Or, maybe she threw up because we made her watch a Pirates game twice in just over a week. Either are viable options.

(We could also blame the weather. It was a wee bit VERY FREAKIN HOT sitting in the stands.)

Anyway, when I go to games, the Pirates win. It's an interesting little phenomenon that happens, especially considering I'm willing to tell the universe that I think they'll continue to suck this year. I have been in the park once during a loss, but that particular game was spent at the playground, so it hardly counts. Normally, the sucking is phenomenal, but yet they manage to pull off a victory.

This game was no exception. Le suck; it reeks of suck.

There was a whole lot of rain during the first few innings, so there was a lot of this going on:

The guys in the red shirts are magical fairies who try to scrape all the suck off the field and replace it with magical Anti-Suck Dust. True story.

Poor McCutheon. He doesn't really suck at all, which just means he should get traded any minute now.

He's already practicing walking away from the Pirates action.

The last time I checked, there were significantly more people putting their money on the Pirates having a winning season this year than there were for my realistic/sane side. It fascinates me because, really, the number of players trying to catch a fly ball should not be even close to the number of people in the stands.

And yet, it is. This leads me to think that Pittsburghers are under the impression that Ginny and this guy have struck a deal:

Let me assure you, they have not. If you have an ounce of sanity, you will put $5 (or $10 or $20 or $100) on the Pirates once again having a losing season.

(Psst . . . I'll tell you a secret . . . I think NEXT year might be the year. Truly. This year? NO FRAKKIN WAY.)

This guy believes:

Which really makes me feel bad for him. There is going to come a day when he sobers up and realizes that the Pirates did that thing to him again. They put hope in those beer bottles, liquor you up real good, and then they smash your heart into a million little pitiful pieces.

This year, the pain is going to be greater because some really phenomenal prizes are going to the people who are sane enough to realize that the Hope Buzz is no different than a pair of Beer Goggles.

Next year they'll maybe hit .500, but it's going to be a very long time before they have to add anything to the pitiful World Series banners.

Even Kenny agrees.

Poor guy. I really home he gets to see a winning season before he retires from yelling, "LEMONADE HEE-EAR!" and "BEE-EAR HEE-EAR!" and "COTTON CANDY HEE-EAR!"