For the record, I consider the place to be a hellmouth. Anyone with kids who has been in the hellmouth knows to duck their head and walk as quickly past the store as possible, always armed with a diversionary tactic or two. If a child says, "Look! It's Build-A-Bear!" you'll hear at least five adults in the vicinity automatically retort, "Look! It's ANYTHING BUT BUILD-A-BEAR!" It doesn't matter if it was their kid that made the statement; adults are always on High Alert to try to change the subject when within 100 meters of the place.
The Indy In-laws are currently in town for a visit, which means that Alexis is all about conning her Nana and Pops into doing her bidding. As we walked through the mall, Mr. Husband and I prepared ourselves to walk past the hellmouth. Nana, a seasoned Avoid Build-A-Bear Veteran, also knew what to do. All three of us started to walk a little faster and talk a little louder as we neared the store. When Alexis made her predictable decree, we all three were ready to change the subject and keep moving.
"Look! It's Hello Kitty!" Alexis said, pointing in the window.
She was initially met with silence as the Trained Veterans waited for someone to take the diversionary lead. But then Pops (Mr. Husband's stepdad) asked, "Oh, wow! Would you like a Hello Kitty?"
CLEARLY THE MAN DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE RULES.
He learned. The hard way.
There is few other places on Earth where you will be charged actual money for the right to go insane. It starts with the generally fug-tastic stuffed animals, and continues on to the station where they show small children things that make noise. It's so completely unfair how they let kids push little noise-making buttons and then corner you into paying EXTRA so that the over-priced stuffed animal you are about to take home can make those same noises and then make you extra batty. Pops paid for Hello Kitty to say, "Meow," whenever Alexis so desires.
Awesome. I'm going to remember that when Christmas rolls around and I'm gift shopping for him.
Mr. Husband then joined in on the insanity by finding a pair of Hello Kitty underwear for Hello Kitty. They happened to be Hello Kitty underwear that look EXACTLY like a pair that Alexis already has. Because, you know, nothing is more fun than giving your kid the ability to match her underwear to her stuffed animal's underwear.
If I find a hole cut out of Alexis' underwear, like there was for Hello Kitty's tail, there is going to be a hefty price to pay. I don't know who will have to pay it, but somebody will.
The only good thing I can say about the trip into the hellmouth is that at least it wasn't my money being spent. That is, after all, what grandparents are for, right?
I just have to figure out how to make sure the noisemaker thing goes home with them.
(Your eyes do not deceive you. Hello Kitty took a bath in suntan oil and then baked herself up real good before crossing through the hellmouth.)