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Wednesday
May212008

Just Cause for a Shy Streak and Some Fun

Last night Alexis and I were flying solo as Mr. Husband had to attend an alleged work event until way late in the evening. Of course, we did what any intelligent women would do--we went out to dinner and then did some shopping. It was the first time we've done that in quite a while, so it was startling to realize it's actually, dare I say, enjoyable to have a girls' night out with the kid.

I figured I would make it all about the Toddler, so I asked her what she wanted for dinner. Always one to dream big, she said peanut butter and jelly. So, off we headed to the nearest Panera for a pair of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. But when I got there, I realized that there was a new Mexican joint in the same little complex. I have never met a burrito I didn't want to inhale, so I overrode the Toddler's choice, knowing that she has never met rice and beans that she didn't want to shovel at top speed.

I was very right on that account. The Toddler shoveled that rice and those beans so fast and so furiously that it looked like a herd of wedding guests throwing Mexican rice at a bride and groom. I was actually feeling bad about the disaster zone until the server made a face when she saw it, then I started helping Alexis throw more food to the invisible dogs on the floor. I seriously would have cleaned up what I could if she hadn't gone all sourpuss on me. Now I figure that's what they get for only having forks bigger than my head. It would take a brain surgeon's precision and a crane to lift one of those forks full of beans neatly to a little pie hole.

Midway through the floor re-texturizing project, the REALLY drunk lady at the next table over suddenly took an interest in my little interior decorator. She came stumbling over, slathered herself across the table, and LOUDLY asked the Toddler about the Minnie Mouse on her shirt. I don't know what scared the Toddler worse--the giant uncovered boobs that were right smack in the middle of our table, the smell of half a box of wine radiating from the lady's pores, or the WICKED LOUD VOLUME OF HER RANTS. The Toddler leaped from her chair, landing right smack in my lap. She buried her face in my neck and didn't come out for a good ten minutes after the drunken whore finally stumbled back to her dinner with clients (no lie, she was trying to sell them something or other).

The Toddler has always had a Michigan J. Frog sort of quality about her. She loves to make people laugh and lives to entertain, just so long as nobody makes eye contact with her. Seriously, she will be laughing and jabbering and generally being a little clown, but if somebody so much as says "BOO" to her, she goes running to her mommy or daddy and hides for ten minutes. I've noticed that her shy streak is getting worse as she now won't say "please" or "thank you" or "bye bye" to strangers (she consistently did just two months ago). I'm thinking drunken whores have scared her shy.

Once we escaped the drunken whore, we managed to hit quite a few stores. I must have missed the memo, but apparently kids actually outgrow that whole "I'm going to run around like an idiot, bouncing like a ping pong ball off the walls, and I really don't care what you do. BYE!" phase. Six months ago I would have been lucky to make it through one store with the Toddler in tow. Now that she SUDDENLY is willing to hold my hand? We hit like ten. It was weird, and yet, delightful.

As we wrapped up the shopping spree, the Toddler turned to me and said, "This is fun." I think that means we need Daddy to have more alleged work things so we can enjoy more girls' nights out.

Make it happen, Mr. Husband.

(Just in case you thought I was the only cruel one in the house, here's proof that the Toddler enjoys inflicting pain on Baby Shell.)

Wednesday
May212008

For the Sadistic Bloggers

I have learned a very valuable lesson in the past 24 hours. If ever I am stuck somewhere and freaking out, I WILL NOT ask a blogger for help. They are sadistic souls who will stop to take a picture, laugh for a minute, maybe take a nap, and THEN help me out of whatever situation.

Since you freaks were so entertained by my poor child's misery, here's the other photo I took. This would be the one where I could swear she's having a stroke. For the record, she wasn't in pain, she was just frustrated. Muy frustrated. Oh, and I got her out by lifting chair and all out of her little house then lifting the pissed off kid straight up. How she got in is still a mystery.

Tuesday
May202008

A Few Random Photos . . .

Lately Pittsburgh's weather has been, well, craptastic. I keep complaining that I'm all for the extended hockey season, but that the extended hockey weather is SO not necessary. Between the cold and the rain on Saturday, there was a brief moment where that bright yellow thing (I forget what it's called) shone for a while, resulting in a rainbow. We happened to be in the midst of car purchase torture at the time, but I ran outside with Alexis so she could see her very first real rainbow. You would have thought I was showing her Dora dipped in glitter and Zoe--she was more than a wee bit excited.

Speaking of the new car, it took exactly two days for the stupid thing to start calling me names. I think it's mad that I keep saying I miss my Mitsubishi. (Hi, Mitsi! I love you! I'm sorry I had to leave you like that, but DUDE! $80 to fill your tank? I can't do that every week. Sorry. Maybe your makers will figure out a way to make you more fuel efficient. If they do, we will be together again some day.)

I know that I shouldn't stop to take photos when the Toddler is clearly experiencing extreme duress, but she's the fruit loop that got herself stuck in a doll's high chair in the first place. I still haven't figured out HOW she rammed her big butt in there.

This one is just because crazy faces make me laugh and I have a ton of photos that I haven't posted yet.