The Gremlins Come Out After Dark

One of Mila's 235987235913 nicknames is "Gremlin" and there's a very good reason for that. She's all smiles and pleasantries during the day, but hide the fried chicken at night. The kid hates everyone after 8:30 pm.

Except me.

I could pretend that this is all a huge inconvenience, but it's not. I am generally around by 8:30, so it's really only inconvenient for other people. You know, like the husband, who was assigned Mila duty Friday night while Alexis and I went to the Maroon 5 concert.

I received the first "Stripe is trying to tie the dogs up again," text halfway through the opening act. It was accompanied by a photo of Mila that dripped of misery and pissery. She looked like she had spent 20 minutes searching for the matches only to discover that she wasn't going to be allowed to burn the house down.

Of course, I couldn't let the husband win the "I'm Dealing With the Most Miserable Kid" trophy for the night.

Photo by @3weaselsIt turns out that the other kid has very strong opinions about really bad music.

She mostly ignored the first act (who is a great singer, for what it's worth), but the second one had her all sorts of pissed off. It was Magic, otherwise known as that creepy guy who sings about how it's rude that some chick's dad won't let him marry her.

There's a reason that dad said "no," btw. It's because Magic's lead singer is gross. He's slimy-long-hair, shirt-unbuttoned-to-his-belly-button gross. He's the kind of gross that you see at a bar and turn around because he sweats date rape drugs. I mean, he might be a very lovely person, but I'm going to guess he's not. He's gross.

(See also: I am old. See also also: I am a mother. See also also also: I am an old mother.)

Alexis should probably follow her instincts about men forever and ever because she quickly decided Magic needed to shut up. She spent five minutes complaining to me about how they were creepy and then another five minutes telling me that their music is terrible.

Which it is.

Buuuuuut ... I'm not so sure she who listens to Bridgit Mendler on repeat all night long is really in a position to  judge music. She was right about the "creepy" part, though.

The whole thing annoyed her so much that she sat in a chair and pouted. She pouted so hard her lip got stuck to the floor. Then she pouted some more, all the while complaining that she wanted to leave. Right that second. Before Maroon 5 came out.

I actually had to make the kid go for a walk with me for a few minutes so she would stop focusing on how mad she was that Magic sucks. She was taking it WAY too personally and letting it totally ruin her whole night. Which, STOP THAT. Only one of my children is allowed to hate everything at night and Mila's head and that crown are meant to be together.

Fortunately Maroon 5 eventually took the stage and was much better than Magic. Much, much better. There was a crazy fantastic dance party in our row, complete with Alexis doing the Cabbage Patch and every other class dance move you can imagine.

Photo by @3weasels

I'm not sure when the girls will officially declare themselves too cool to hang out with me in the evenings, but I'm glad it hasn't happened yet.

Luck o' The Tiny Human

They say hindsight is 20/20, but COME ON. I should have known better than to discard the leprechaun hat that Kiara wore last year. I can't even begin to explain why it didn't occur to me that there would be a baby who could have worn fun hats if only I still had them.

It's as if I forgot who I am. Of course I'm that person who makes the baby and the cat share clothes.

Alas, I had to settle for letting them share a necklace.

This past weekend I dug up a few of Kiara's special St. Pat's things so that I could capture Mila in all of her leprechaun glory.

And it was glorious.

Obviously.

Right up until the other kid realized there was a mini photoshoot happening. She *has* to crash those parties now, you know. But, this time she didn't have an outfit that would work perfectly for the impromptu shenanigans.

So she settled for acting as the photographer.

And her photos are better than mine.

Because Mila thinks Alexis is the funniest thing since the $3 bill.

Let's pretend it was beginner's luck. It wasn't, but let's pretend.

Sweet and Sour Tofu

When The Big Kid was in kindergarten, her school focused a fair amount of the time on China as part of a monthly unit. As in, the kids learned about the people, culture, and all of the details about the country. One month, they even cooked Chinese food in class.

The whole situation left Alexis obsessed with Sweet and Sour Chicken. I don't know why. I just know that she really super wanted me to figure out a way to make it without actually including chicken in the mix.

That was easy.

I make Sweet and Sour Tofu from time-to-time, generally just for Alexis and me, but recently for the whole family because Mila is ALL IN on the tofu and green beans game.

It's probably weird how much we all like tofu.

Oh well. At least weird is fun.

Sweet and Sour Tofu
3 cups white rice, cooked

Fried tofu
3 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 package extra firm tofu (press the water out, please)
2 egg yolks
2 tablespoons corn starch
1 tablespoon milk
1/2 teaspoon black pepper

Sauce
1/4 cup vegetable stock
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 rice wine vinegar
2 tablespoons ketchup
2 tablespoons white sugar
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 tablespoon corn starch
2 tablespoons water

Vegetables
1 bunch green onions, chopped
1/2 cup carrot matchsticks
1 can baby corn, drained
1 cup frozen green beans

1. Start by prepping the tofu. Once you've pressed the water out of it, cube it.

2. In a small bowl, mix the egg yolks, corn starch, black pepper, and milk. Dump the tofu in the bowl and mix it all up until the tofu is coated.

3. In a large frying pan, heat the oil. Toss the tofu in there and fry until it's lightly browned. Make sure you stir/flip it often so that it gets cooked evenly. When it is evenly browned, take it out of the pan and set it aside.

4. Sauce time! Throw the stock, soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, ketchup, garlic, and sugar into a bowl. Mix them up. Then put the corn starch and water in a small measuring cup together. Use a fork to whisk them together and then pour them into the rest of the sauce.

5. Veggie time! In the skillet that you used for the tofu, cook the carrots, green beans, green onions, and baby corn for 4-5 minutes over medium heat or until the green beans are as soft as you want them to be.

6. Pour the sauce in with the veggies. Allow it to simmer for 3-4 minutes, or until the sauce begins to thicken.

7. Toss the tofu in with the sauce and veggies.

8. Stir everything up.

9. Serve over white rice.

10. Wonder why everyone says "tastes like chicken" when it's tofu that can really taste like absolutely everything.