Momma Always Said Don't Lick Around a Cougher

I have a theory that there is a LOT of licking that happens at daycare when the adults aren't looking. I imagine that babies mark their territory by licking, much like dogs pee on things to declare ownership. The babies grab toys and lick them. They cruise along walls and lick them. Then the babies lick each other to mark who their friends are.

Lick.

Lick.

Lick.

It's like the seagulls in Finding Nemo screaming "MINE! MINE! MINE!" but with a lot more germs.

That's why the daycare crud spreads so fast. There are germs on every single surface, despite the valiant efforts by staff to keep the place clean.

There is photographic evidence that Mila is a licker. There is also the fact that she has been sick essentially the entire time she has been in daycare. I mean, sure, there have been breaks, but I think her nose has basically been leaking since August.

I warned Mila about licking around a cougher. She didn't listen, though. Unfortunately, the poor tiny thing has a nagging cough that I'm hoping is gone before she leaves for college. It's not bad at all during the day, but when she tries to sleep, things take a turn for the worse.

It's pretty awful. Tiny people shouldn't cough every time they try to inhale. It's just not fair.

But.

Hold on a second. This is the point where I should just admit I'm a terrible human being. I know I shouldn't find what I'm about to say to be funny, BUT I DO. I'll see y'all in hell some day because, welp, it's funny. Sorry.

When Mila coughs, she pushes her legs out as if she's crawling. Since she has mostly been coughing in her sleep, that means she's basically crawling while she sleeps. She's all cough

lurch

cough

lurch

cough

lurch.

And she does it while in bed. So while she's trying to be asleep, I'm trying to keep her from ramming her head off of the headboard over and over. If she were sleeping in her crib with any sort of regularity, she would have given herself a concussion by now. Hooray for being attached to me at night!

Speaking of her nightly attachment issues, she was trying to sleep cuddled in my lap the a few days ago, but kept cough-lurching her way out of my lap. I started to get legit concerned that she was going to cause permanent damage to my spleen as she tumbled to the ground, so I finally placed her in the middle of the family room floor to sleep. I figured if she was in the middle of the room, she couldn't ram her head off of anything.

She stayed in the middle of the room for about six coughs. Then she was ramming her head against the coffee table.

She didn't wake up, by the way. She kept on snoozing, coughing every five seconds, and ramming her head off the table every five seconds. I tried to save her from herself over and over, but she just went back to ramming her head off the table shortly thereafter.

I'm going to need the coughing to end soon so that poor Mila doesn't end up with a permanent self-inflicted head injury. I mean, she doesn't have nearly enough hair to soften the blows.

Foiling Plans

It likely comes as no surprise that it's a terrible idea to leave Mila unsupervised these days. In the time that it takes to shower, go to the bathroom, or blink, she can burn down a city block. Her wide-eyed curiosity is fantastic, but it means she wants to touch all. of. the. things.

That's why she has spent a fair amount of time caged recently. While she has deemed the Pack-n-Play to be a hellmouth where she shall not ever spend a single moment, she has compromised by saying her crib is cool, just as long as the sun is up.

I think that's fair.

I know why her crib is an acceptable place, by the way. She thinks she has figured out an escape route. Just knock the basket on the floor, shimmy across to the top of the bookcase, and she's free.

Any time I interrupt Mila's attempts to escape, she does this.

That's her "WHASSUP! There's nothing here to see!" face. It's always followed by a rousing game of "Look How Cute I Can Be!"

Which, it's a fun game and all, but I'm not really falling for it.

So I'm taking the bookcase exit route away.

Although, I still think duct tape might be the best way to keep Mila out of trouble.

Finding Our Way Back To Old Haunts

The last couple of winters have sort of defeated me, so I was ridiculously happy when Alexis pointed out that we've become lame in the past year or so. We used to find an adventure at least every other weekend, but recently we've been defining "adventure" as "going to Target and buying groceries." I dunno why. I just know that she was right. We used to go do SOMETHING with some frequency.

It's like she knew the weather was finally going to change.

ALL HAIL 40 DEGREES AND SUNNY! HUZZAH!

Thanks to Alexis pointing out our lameness, I finally got around to renewing our Pittsburgh Zoo membership. It was all just in time to go watch the penguins walk around outside. Which, BEST.

Though, I did forget to watch the penguins because watching Alexis watch the penguins was pretty fantastic.

Mila is still too little to really care about any of the animals, but she had a rare opportunity to face forward in her stroller. She also had some great people who were willing to haul her big butt around when she grew tired of the stroller, so she had a great time as well.

Really. I swear she had fun.

And so did I.

Because seriously.

The zoo in the winter is so fun.