RIP Belly

It has been so long since we moved into our current house that I think Alexis has forgotten Life Before. Life Before had her in a tiny townhouse. All of her toys had to fit in a bookshelf and one toybox because TINY townhouse. There just wasn't space to have her junk all over.

It was such a small place that we did something a little weird -- we put a saltwater fish tank in Alexis' room. She was only a baby at the time. There were plenty of reasons the tank shouldn't have been in her room, but whatever. It was. We wanted a salt tank. There was no other place to keep it. It all worked out.

I mean, it sort of worked out.

There was always drama with that tank. ALWAYS. If you've been around these parts since the beginning, you may remember The Flood of Horror, for example. More likely, you may remember Belly and the B*tch.

There are a bunch of posts in my archives about those two, but the cheaters' version of their tale is that we purchased a maroon clownfish for the salt take. It's name was Belly. Then we bought another maroon clownfish for the tank because I am an idiot and didn't research first. That one was named The B*tch because there really is no other name I could think of for such a mean fish. The B*tch spent a bunch of time trying to murder Belly (who was smaller), but then something weird happened and out of nowhere, Belly murdered The B*tch instead.

It was truly a David and Goliath tale.

Belly went on to become a dominant little jerk who wouldn't share space with any other fish. Over the course of several years, she single-handedly murdered probably $300 worth of fish. All of them were ones that research indicated would be fine with her, but APPARENTLY NOT.

It wasn't until about three months ago that I finally came across a fish that Belly was willing to tolerate. It's a Dottyback and also mean as hell, but apparently two mean fish can get along if they learn to respect each other.

And they did. Past tense. Because Belly died yesterday. She was at least eight years old, which isn't too shabby as far as maroon clownfish go.

Which brings us back to the beginning of this post. Alexis apparently doesn't remember Life Before and all of the drama that has been had with this tank. She's begging for a new fish and to keep the tank in her room.

She's not going to get her way on moving the tank to her room, but I'm sure she will still enjoy the show as we learn that the Ghost of Belly is ready to haunt us forever.

(Belly is on the right.)

THAT Is Some Solid Advice

There are a few genuinely stupid things we all seem to do in life. For example, lying to your mother about something petty.

It's just stupid.

I mean, it may seem like a good idea at the time to be all, "I didn't do it!" when your mother notices a piece of chewed gum on the side of the car and asks if you threw gum out the window. But, when that same mother tells you to leave it alone and you don't, then you stick your fingers in that chewed gum that you swore wasn't yours? She's totally going to know it is yours. And, she's going to call you out for it.

"If that's not your gum, why did you stick your fingers in it? Do you realize how gross that is?" is probably what she'll say.

Or what I did say, just before Alexis realized she was trapped in a tangled web of stupid lies.

The wise thing to do would have been to come clean. Unfortunately, Alexis wasn't feeling wise at the time. Instead she dug herself into a deeper and deeper hole until finally she was sobbing. "FINE, I LIED!" she confessed.

"Really? I hadn't figured that out," I replied.

"Yes, you did," she sadly retorted.

This all happened in the midst of what was supposed to be a quick run to two stores. However, the word "quick" can't really be used around a newborn because HAHAHAHAHA! You thought that would take an hour? Let's try three.

That meant Alexis had a looooooong time to ponder the repercussions of getting caught in a lie. It was good that she had a loooooooong time because my rule for infractions like that is that Alexis has to suggest her own punishment. In my head, she had to clean up the gum for being a doofus-face and throwing it out the window. But, there needed to be a separate punishment for lying about it. Maybe a day or two without TV? That seemed right to me.

It didn't seem right to Alexis. Instead, she said she should have a week without any electronics. No TV, no Kindle Fire, no nothing.

I agreed to her terms.

It's not my fault she's harder on herself than I am on her.

Later that evening, Alexis found herself with not much to do. She wasn't allowed to watch TV, she couldn't play games on her Kindle, she didn't even have music she could listen to since her devices all count as "electronics." So, she found herself reading books to Mila.

As she read book after book, I stopped paying attention and focused on trying to pick up some of what I'm calling The Disaster Zone. It's also known as The Family Room, but it's new name is much more fitting. The only half paying attention thing is to blame for the fact that I missed the first half of a pretty fantastic conversation. I caught the second half, though.

"Mila, don't ever lie to mom. It's sooooo not worth it," Alexis told her little sister.

Here's to hoping Mila takes the advice to heart.

Success = No One Wound Up In The River