Again.

There comes a point in every woman's life when she realizes it's not fair. The feeling falls on her like a avalanche, heavy and suffocating. It's like cement blocks being tied to your feet while a sock is stuffed in your mouth and you smash your head against a ceiling you can't see. Sometimes the feeling passes quickly and you get to go back to obliviously trying your hardest, but sometimes it lingers.

I didn't really have that moment until a little over four years ago, a coincidence of time and fate. Somehow I managed to wander through life without really seeing what was right in front of me - there are times when I wasn't given a fair shot because I'm a woman. Before that moment, I always thought that I wasn't getting as far as fast because I was given different opportunities early in life. Growing up in a trailer park without consistent food on the table is in itself a trillion pounds of weight holding you back. I couldn't see past that avalanche of inequality to see the other one until it was right in front of me, pointed out by a male who had a very similar background but yet completely different experience.

The very short version of the story is that something happened and immediately afterward, that male looked at me and flatly said, "No one has ever said something to me like that in the workplace." From that moment forward, I saw the inequalities for what they were.

Alexis sees them now. She's just 14 years old, but she has already seen enough to know that women aren't given the same chances as men. I think maybe because she started out on level footing with her peers, certainly coming from a place of privilege, she had a clearer view of that which I should have seen all along. There's another difference between me and her, though. She goes looking for role models on a much bigger stage than I ever did. While I got lost in the fictional worlds created by authors, worlds with limited examples of women going for it all and failing, Alexis looks for inspiration in the real world. It's not entertainers or athletes that usually catch her attention, though. It's people she knows in real life. It's also politicians.

It makes sense if you know her. The kid was already voted by her class Most Likely to Become President. Seriously, the kid is destined for a life of public service. She exists to make the world a better place for everyone, and I will not at all be surprised if she does that by going into politics. She wants the world to be a fair place.

The first time Alexis started to realize the world isn't fair was 2016. She watched as a woman who she thought was smart and ambitious and incredibly qualified failed. Alexis lost a little bit of her unending optimism that day. Just a little bit, though, because she knew that smart and ambitious woman came with a bit of baggage.

There's no baggage this time. There is no reason or rhyme as to why. Even a 14-year old who exists in a cloud of privilege sees what happened.

Alexis is fully having that moment now, that moment when she realizes it's not fair. There's not a single damn thing I can do to make it better except to persist. Again.

Comments

[Mary]

I think as long as there are no term limits, with the establishment being run by old white men, and it is, it will always be a race of old white men. They have to be dying off soon, most of them are in their late 70's or 80's.