But When Can I Have the Cookie?

Have I mentioned that I'm loving Almost Two? Seriously, I am. I loved Two with Alexis and we're on track for a delightful year with Mila.

My favorite thing about loving age two is that other people who have two year-olds think I'm nuts. They go on about how frustrating the tantrums are and how hard it is to get a two year-old to listen and HAHAHAHAHA. I've seen what comes at the end of two. This is a magical and easy time.

No. Really. It is. And that's not a threat; it's reality. Three is the Beastly Age and then there is the tween years followed by the teen years and YOU GUYS. Everything is simple when you can pick up an out-of-control kid and walk away from the situation.

I think there are two tricks to surviving two. The first one is to take a step back and see tantrums for what they are. What they are is HILARIOUS. How fun is it to watch humans overreact? Let's say a toddler asks for cheese. There's a 50/50 chance that if you hand that toddler some cheese, they will completely lose it because HOW DARE YOU GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT. You have to admit it's fun. BECAUSE IT IS.

The other trick is to realize that there is no point in saying, "No."

Wait. What?

YES. STOP SAYING "NO."

Follow me here for a second ... if I put a cookie on the table next to you and then I tell you that you can't have that cookie, what are you going to think about for the next hour? How badly are you going to want that cookie? What happens if every time you take a step towards the cookie, someone tells you, "No?"

Everything in life is like a cookie on a table when you're a toddler. They want everything because everything is new and awesome and when you say "No," what you're really doing is teasing the kid with a delicious cookie. You're waving it in their face and making everything terrible.

(Are you still thinking about that cookie? Because I am. All it takes is telling me I can't have something.)

Instead of saying "No," say "Yes." It works like MAGIC a lot of the time. Let's say, hypothetically, that there was a nearly two year-old trying to put hemorrhoid cream on her sister's toothbrush (hypothetically, of course). You can say "NOOOOO!" or you can say, "Where's the puppy?"

"Yes, you can go look for the puppy!" is way better than "No, you can't make me puke" when you're two.

(The sister's toothbrush and hemorrhoid cream thing didn't actually happen. I mean, it wasn't her sister's toothbrush ... AHEM.)

We've reached the exact level of toddlerhood where this "Yes" business works really well. "Stop playing with knives" becomes, "Can you close the drawer?" "You're never having another piece of candy again" becomes "How about some delicious blueberries?" "Lighters are not for toddlers" becomes "Do you want to watch mommy burn a bunch of stuff?"

Yes! All of the yes! It's so much easier living a life with yes.

Which leads me to a question ... do you think this yes business would work with a grown-up? Because if so, I've got some work to do.

Comments

[Katie in MA]

I remember the exact moment I realized this trick when Gracie was little. And everything was SO MUCH easier after that!

[Mary]

It works with grown ups. They actually teach it in sales classes. It doesn't work as well as it does with a toddler though.