Coconut Cream Cupcakes

You know how sometimes you remember a place where you haven't eaten for a while and you can't shake it?

I've been in that place for a few months now.

Portman's in Bridgeville. I need to get there. I need to get there for a bunch of things, but most especially for a piece of Coconut Cream Pie. It is, in my not-so-expert opinion, the best Coconut Cream Pie on earth.

I need it. Like, NOW.

I keep forgetting to head to that part of town when I have time to do it, though. Thus, I may have to cave and make Coconut Cream Cupcakes instead. They aren't exactly the same, but they're still pretty great.

Coconut Cream Cupcakes

There are three major components to these cupcakes, so there are also three ingredient lists and sets of instructions. Ready? Ready.

By the way, this makes about 6 dozen mini cupcakes. Plenty to share! (Not really.)

Cupcakes

1 1/2 cups butter, room temperature
1 cup sugar
5 large egss
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons coconut extract
3 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup buttermilk
1 cup shredded sweetened coconut

1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees then throw the butter and sugar in a large bowl and the introduce them to your mixer. Mix and mix and mix that stuff until you have a light, fluffy, creamy butter mixture. It takes about 4-5 minutes.

2. Add the eggs one at a time, mixing to incorporate the eggs as you go.

3. Add the vanilla and coconut extract and mix some more.

4. In a medium mixing bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Whisk them all together.

5. Slowly add the flour mixture and buttermilk (alternate them) to the large bowl with your butter in it. I did 1/3 of the flour, 1/3 of the buttermilk, back to 1/3 of the flour, etc. and it worked out perfectly.

6. Once the cupcake mix is well-blended, fold in the coconut with a spatula or spoon.

7. Bake at 325 degrees for 25-30 minutes, or until the tops of the cupcakes are lightly browned and a toothpick comes out clean.

8. Transfer the cupcakes to a wire cooling rack and let them chill out while you work on other things.

Coconut Custard

1/2 cup coconut milk
1/2 cup milk (I used nonfat)
3 large egg yolks
1/4 cup sugar
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. In a medium saucepan, stir together the coconut milk and regular milk. Bring them to a boil over medium low heat and allow them to simmer for 1-2 minutes.

2. Whisk together the egg yolks, sugar, and cornstarch in a small bowl.

3. Slowly add the warm milks to the egg yolks (pouring from the pot to the bowl, yes) while stirring the entire time. I do mean SLOWLY, by the way. It took me a full two minutes to combine the two things. Nobody wants scrambled coconut eggs, so take your time.

4. Return the whole mixture to the pot and bring to a boil, stirring constantly. It will thicken real quickly. Once it does, add the vanilla, stir, and remove it from the heat.

5. Transfer the mixture to a bowl and place it in the fridge. Once it has mostly cooled, you're shoving some of it in the middle of the cupcakes.

6. To do that, I placed the custard in a pastry bag with a tip that is attached using a coupler. If you use the type that slides into the bag, it won't work. You need a tip that will stay still. Now take that pastry bag tip and shove it into the center of the cupcake. Squeeze out a little custard. Now move on to the next cupcake. Easy enough, right? (If that doesn't work out for you, you can scoop out a little hole in each cupcake using a spoon and/or knife.)

Frosting

2 8-oz packages cream cheese, room temperature
1 cup butter, room temperature
3 cups powdered sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 teaspoons coconut extract

1. Use an electric mixer to cream together the cream cheese and butter then gradually add the powdered sugar. If you figure out a way to get the powdered sugar in there without making a mess all over the ceiling, share your magic, please.

2. Add the vanilla and coconut extracts and mix some more.

3. Use a pastry bag to make a little swirl of frosting on top of each cupcake. Top with toasted coconut, if desired. (To toast the coconut, put about 1/2 cup of it on a cookie sheet and place it in the oven for about 5 minutes with your low broil setting. Watch it, though, because everybody's broil seems to work a little differently. It's "toasted" when it's lightly browned.)