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Grand Theft Auto

It's been about a year since I found Mila sitting on top of the fridge and decided the best path forward was to enroll her in gymnastics classes. What's that? I never mentioned that I found her on top of the fridge? Well, that was by design. Mila is the type of kid who senses when something bothers you and then does it more. If I had even thought about how much I didn't like that she was way up there, she would have made it a hobby.

Of note: I showed weakness when it came to the pantry shelves. I pulled her down from those shelves approximately 400 times before I figured out that I needed to act like I didn't care. Switching to not caring has taken the edge off of her nuttiness.

Gymnastics classes have helped, too. While everything about them is awful for me, Mila looooooooves those silly classes. They've helped her figure out how to be a little safer when it comes to climbing her way to destruction. Sometimes she even holds on when she's in a ridiculous place. She has definitely gotten better at following directions and waiting her turn, so win?

(I say she's gotten better at following directions, but I literally running tackled her three times last week because she decided she was going over THERE when she was supposed to be over HERE and OMG I don't know why she loves throwing herself in harm's way so much.)

So this gymnastics thing is going well, is what I'm saying. There's happiness in standing on a balancing beam, jumping on a trampoline is THE BEST, and diving into a pit of foam blocks is perfection. Everything about it is pretty great. It's so great that Mila legit knows when it's Monday and she is going to go to gymnastics. She wakes up Monday mornings talking about it and keeps going all day long.

There's no classes this coming Monday because of the holiday. That's definitely going to be an issue, you guys. Mila will rage when Monday rolls around and she doesn't get to go to her favorite place. Thus, I preemptively warned her. I explained that we had to go some extra days until the next gymnastics day and that we would get to see fireworks instead.

Mila likes fireworks. That should have been a satisfactory substitution.

I guess it wasn't, because tonight Mila spent the whole night telling me about how she's going to take my car and drive herself to gymnastics.

Uh oh.

A post shared by Burgh Baby (@burghbaby) on

She knows how to unlock the doors to my car. So.

If you hear about a toddler getting arrested for running red lights and driving without a license, at least now you'll know that she did it for a good reason.

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Reader Comments (1)

I may want to hire her. I need a chauffeur.

June 29, 2017 | Unregistered CommenterGina
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