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I Wasn't Scared of Clowns. Past Tense.

When I have nightmares, they're usually of the very realistic sort. For the first few years of her life, I was certain Alexis was going to get hit by a car and die because that was a nightmare that I had all of the time. Mila came along and added getting hit by a car while in a stroller to my reasons to not sleep. I can easily picture what the scene looks like because that nightmare played out in my dreams so many times.

I have a new nightmare now. THANKS, MILA.

About a week ago Mila came home from school talking about clowns. There are good clowns and bad clowns and some of them have red noses and some wear funny shoes and she can go on and on. Of course, this whole conversation is 17 kinds of hilarious, so I keep encouraging it. Every day I ask about the clowns.

So far, I've learned some important things:

There was a clown at daycare.

Mila and her friends talk about clowns a lot. They all like them.

Clowns are funny.

The clown that visited her school was a "Grandma Clown."

Clowns with red noses are the best.

Clowns like to eat french fries.

One time there was a clown in our house and I was upstairs sleeping so only Mila saw him and, by the way, he took some stuff out of my purse before he ran out the front door. He left in a blue car and he had a knife and he was a bad clown but it was dark, so it was hard to be sure if he was alone or not.

And with that, I'm never sleeping again.

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