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I'm Never Going To Shut Up About This One

I'm about 70% into a major dining room overhaul, a fact which has led to me scouring all corners of the earth for ideas and stuff and things that will help finish the project. Of course that means I *HAD* to go into Pottery Barn. Dining rooms and Pottery Barn are like peanut butter and jelly, no?

The first hint that this trip into Pottery Barn was going to be special read like a sign. Well, OK, it wasn't so much a hint as it was a literal sign--a sign in the doorway which announced that the store would be closing for renovations. One quick look inside gave notice that we were late to the party. The store was nearly empty.

BLURGH. I hate when I miss Store Closing Parties.

Empty shelves have never really stopped me from going to Store Closing Parties, though. Maybe I would find one little thing? Something? Anything?

I quickly bee-lined towards some metal bird sculptures that would look absolutely amazing in the china cabinet I currently have torn apart. As I stood there stroking them and trying to convince myself that $50 for two metal birds was totally reasonable, I heard something.

The husband. Beckoning me.

I quickly turned to see what he wanted. I swear the ceiling opened up, the sun scrambled to position itself where it could spotlight the husband's find, and angels began to sing. HALLELUJAH! He was standing pointing at a table.

The Table.

Months and months ago I got it into my head that the table in our kitchen was the wrong shape. A round table! That's what we needed! And a pedestal table, at that. I spent hours scouring stores, both in person and online, but couldn't find anything that I loved enough to open up my wallet.

But there it was . . . The Perfect Table. Of course, I had already seen it online and knew it was $1000. The husband isn't as much of a cheap ass as I am, so I figured it was marked down to $500 or something. A good deal, but certainly nothing to get excited about.

I decided to humor the man and slowly walked over to The Table. It was a floor model and bore the marks of years of wear. It wasn't anything that couldn't be fixed, but it certainly had seen its share of wear and tear. As I carefully looked over the scratches, a tiny little sign interrupted my thoughts.



I looked again at the totality of the hunk of marvelous wood that stood in front of me. Was it horribly disfigured somewhere? Was it missing something? WHAT WAS WRONG WITH IT?

Oh! The leaf was missing.

Not a huge deal, but certainly it made sense that it had been marked down so much. Between the wear and tear and the missing leaf, it was probably only worth $150 to me.

As I turned to go back to stroking my metal birds, I saw another table across the store that was just like the one the husband was encouraging me to buy. IT HAD ITS LEAF.

Never before has a woman stuck such an aggressive pose as she pondered the fastest way across the store. I was prepared to take out anyone who so much as looked at My Table. I slapped on my ninja outfit and ran as fast as I could.

IT WAS ALSO $199! And while there were a couple of deep scratches, it still looked totally fixable. In a flash, my debit card flew out of my wallet and I tried to throw it at a sales person. She clearly did not understand the urgency of my need to purchase The Table before anyone else noticed it. She was all sorts of busy chatting with a customer. The nerve!

I grabbed the little price sign and slowly backed my way to the register, never once taking my eyes off the prize. I absolutely was willing to physically maim anyone who tried to stop me from completing my purchase.

I needn't have worried. The whopping two people in the store didn't care about my table, but -OH!- I cared! A lot!

Buying that $1000 Pottery Barn table for $199 was easily the most exciting thing to happen all weekend. EASILY.

And, yes, I just wrote an entire post about buying a table. Lame, I know. But you took your time to read it, so welcome to The Lame Club! We have nice tables here.

She Wasn't Impressed

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Reader Comments (29)

I so appreciate that find!! Well done!

May 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbeachmama

Well done. I get the same way, like there's going to be a nuclear holocaust as soon as I turn my back on The Thing.

May 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSiobhan

PIctures or it didn't happen

May 10, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermahsdad

@mahsdad--Soooooon. I'm close to going all "Look At My Pretty Things!" on y'all. It's going to be obnoxious.

Just as soon as I finish painting the dining room that never ends...

You ALWAYS find deals!!! You are the NIJA of deals. Way to go. :-) It made you and Mr. H happy so it is a win win and you got the exact table you wanted all along. sweet!

May 10, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJackie

A score as kick ass as this deserves its own post!

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKellie

But you made it entertaining! And that makes all the difference in the world. I'm still chuckling over the last paragraph.
Can't wait to see pics!
Hey, wait! You tried to trick us with something shiny. And it almost worked. *Ahem*, in the post you said the table is for the kitchen. Not the dining room. So. Pics. :D

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCrista

I love a good deal. And The Lame Club.

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCecily R

Of course I love the photos of the cute kid - BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TABLE?

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle Smiles

Jealous!! We have a pedestal table for our kitchen but no leaf (we don't have a dining room) so dinner parties are VERY tight. Congrats on the amazing find! Deserving of a post.

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAna

I have an 8x10, wool rug from PB that cost me $50, originally $800, with NOTHING wrong with it. I still proudly communicate that fact to all who enter my dining room and I've had it for over a year. Though the PB dining room set that sits upon the rug was only 20% off, so I guess I'm not the ninja quite yet.

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle B

I am insanely jealous of your Pottery Barn find. I thought about going in there about a week or so ago just to see what they had marked down and now I REALLY wish I had!!

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

When do we get to see the table?

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commentertehamy

@Crista--I have nearly the entire house torn up while I try to paint the dining room. And I do mean TORN UP. I very nearly passed out dead when the neighborhood kids went running through over the weekend because ZOMG! DON'T LET THEM SEE ALL THE MESSES! (Or knock over the china cabinet that is in the family room or run into the 24' ladder sitting in the dining room or bam into the old kitchen table that's just sort of sitting in the middle of the chaos or touch all the crap that's spread everywhere from Alexis and I working on a fairy house/garden or . . . uh, it's just a mess right now.)

That is awesome! I bet you love the table EVEN MORE since you got such a good price. I got my kitchen table round, pedestal with a leaf that folds inside the table (we must have similar tastes!) from Sam's Club and I get endless compliments on it. I can't remember what I paid, but with 6 chairs included, I remember that it was cheap (price-wise, not quality-wise). I will forever love that table.

I wish you many happy meals at your new kitchen table!

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRobyn

I cannot wait to see a picture of the finished room with your fabulous score of a table! What a fantastic steal!

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbessie.viola

I totally get a whole post about a table bargain. I once wrote a song call "$400 Rug For $39.99"

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGina

Totally awesome! I'm completely jealous!! Of the fact that you actually COMPLETE rooms you set out to remodel. My bathroom is lingering on 4 years now. *sigh*

Oh yeah, the table find is amazing too!

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

@Sarah--Ummmmm...not so much. I finished most of the rooms at our old house just because it was time to list it for sale. I'm not much better now, as evidenced by the fact that I started painting Alexis' room 2 years ago and still haven't finished.

I bow down to you... Are you for hire as a personal shopper??
I'm always just a tad too late for those kinds of buys. Hubby and I had our eye on a table at Arhaus a few years ago that we just couldn't stomach the price of. Lo and behold, the floor model went on sale, bringing it down to a very reasonable price, but we hesitated over the wear and tear, and wanted to think it over. 24 hours later, we decided the deal was too good to pass up, but alas, it was gone. :-(

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

@Kristin--I have learned the hard way that when it comes to things like that, you have about 5 seconds to make up your mind. If you can't, then you must not really want it that bad and it's OK.

Not quite as good as the car story...but a close second. I am a CERTIFIED member of The Lame Club. ;)

I bought a jacket for my race this past weekend...for $2! And I thought THAT was a steal (which is was, but still you're talking Pottery Barn and I'm, well, not).

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mommy

That is so strange, can you read my mind? I just stayed up way too late last night online looking for an antique white, round pedestal table with a leaf. I saw the ones at Pottery Barn (love them!). I'm off to search the web for a Pottery Barn closing near me! They have white ones at Ikea, but I'm a little iffy about Ikea's quality.

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKim Adams

Does the pedestal table have matching chairs that curve out? I hope not, because we have a marble pedestal table with the matching chairs, and you will not believe how many times we have caught our pant legs on those dumb chairs! So, what I'm saying is, if you also want a pedestal table that has a few chunks of marble missing from the sides, let me know! That table is purty though!

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

That is a great looking table and a freaking STEAL! Well done! :)

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKat

OK, an entire post about The Table! and no pictures of The Table!?


May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Um. Jealous. So, SO jealous!! That is so full of awesome. I'd be willing to bet that made your month (or year). :-D Congrats!!!

May 11, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterElaine

With a discount like that, I'd be blogging about it too! Great picture—I love how she's posing like a mini-supermodel.

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCozy Friedman

Gah! I got all the way to the end WITHOUT a pic of your table?! What is wrong with you, woman?! Watching my inbox now so I can see at least a linky-linky. Ahem.

May 12, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie in MA
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