I'm Worn Out Just From Watching Her

As we sat on the stoop after a very long day of running errands, all I could think about was how I was ready for bed at that very moment. I swear early bedtimes are wasted on the young.

As if to prove my point, Alexis was dancing and squealing and running and generally acting like a fool hopped up on caffeine and sugar and maybe a few dozen happy pills. It was an hour before she was supposed to go to bed, so each time she leapt into the air and did a triple back flip mixed with some karate moves, I cringed. I was worried that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep. When Alexis has trouble falling asleep, momma has trouble falling asleep. And loses her mind.

I decided my best option was to try to wear her little butt out. I suggested a bike ride around the neighborhood, and sold the idea with promises of unicorns and glitter and shiny things.

Alexis fell for it. Moments later, she sat in our driveway wearing her ridiculous bicycle helmet (we bought it when she was one--I think she's due for a new one that is a little less pink bunny-filled and that, you know, actually fits her big noggin), seated atop her long-ago-too-small-tricycle. While she's a pro at riding her Big Girl Bike all around my kitchen and dining room, she won't ride it outside. She says that it's because of something to do with stopping and Meg, which I think means she hasn't learned to stop on her bike unless there is a Bulldog for her to run into.

We started on our way and I purposely selected a route that was about a mile long. Even if the kid couldn't finish the whole mile pedaling and ramming her knees into the handlebars, I knew I could pick up her slack. Or her and the trike. Whichever. Regardless, I just wanted her to be exhausted.

As we started up the first of several big hills, Alexis began to tell me that she had lots of energy in her belly.

"NO KIDDING," I thought. I was intentionally not helping her get up the hill, just waiting for her to start complaining that she couldn't pedal any further. But she did. And then up another hill, and another.

As we finally started rounding the last curve, Alexis began to show signs of being human after all. She said she needed more energy and that she was starting to get a bit tired. She stopped the trike, slid off the seat, and then proceeded to do 20 jumping jacks.

 

She declared herself ready, hopped back on the bike, and pedaled another 100 feet or so. Then she said it was time for more jumping jacks. That time she did 50 OF THEM.

"We should have named you Jillian Michaels," I told Alexis.

She didn't hear me. She was too busy running laps around me.

Comments

[Karen]

Early bedtime is wasted on the very young.

Isnt' that the truth?

And how is it so unfair that too-tired parents of overactive kids get the overactive kids?

[jdp]

I'm going to try that at work today. When I get so tired I think I can't go on I'm going to hide in an empty office somewhere and do some jumping jacks.

[Jen]

Okay, two things. One, thank you for this post, because I was feeling bad about Dylan ramming his knees into his tricycle yesterday. Oh, but he didn't even have a helmet on, so I still lose. Two, something weird was going on last night in Pittsburgh, because my kid was also a complete ball of maniacal energy, and didn't go to bed until 2 hours past his bedtime.

[The Mommy]

I love it! I love that someone else is as devious as I am. My kids ALWAYS sleep well on Sunday night because my parents come over and run around like maniacs with them. I'm pretty sure Grandma and Papa sleep well on Sundays, too :)

[Michelle (burghbaby)]

@Jen--I don't feel bad about the too-small tricycle AT ALL since she has a bike that fits her. It's not my fault she refuses to learn to stop without running into a dog. :-/

[bluzdude]

If only that kind of energy could be bottled and sold. Or used to power the neighborhood...

[No Princesses Here]

I know somebody else just like that. I know it's bad, but I've been counting down to naptime for the past 2 hours. I'm exhausted already just from keeping up with Eva today. It's so unfair that they get all the energy and we don't. Shouldn't science have found a way to reverse that by now? Or at least just even it out?

[Kat]

HAHA!!! Too funny! I can relate!
Every time I think I have worn my boys out they prove me wrong. Stinking kids are like the Energizer Bunny!
;)

[Kellie]

I love when Morgan spends the day at Grandma and Grandpa's house. Between hours in the pool, hours running from the 1st floor to the 3rd, back to the first and then the 2nd, running all over the yard, picking veggies and berries from the garden and helping to brush the St. Bernard, she comes home and crashes HARD. And will then sleep for 15 hours.

Dammit. WHY don't they take her EVERYDAY?! ;)

[Katie in MA]

Next time, hand her the vaccuum. And a swiffer. And the windex. ;-)

[ladybugsmommy]

This post took me down memory lane to when I was a rambunctious child. I clearly remember a few incidences where I was so jacked-up on the excitement of the day that mom gave me Dymatapp (p.s. Is this medicine still even on the market?) to "make us feel better"! Now that I'm a mom of a 5 month old, I know my days are numbered till I get what's coming to me. I'm just hoping to avoid any Mommy Dearest moments.

[Tara R.]

I hope Alexis always uses her superhuman powers for good. I'm ready for my nap now.

[Rougie]

I'm worn out from reading this post. And yes, early bed times are totally wasted on the young.

[KJ]

Hahaha hahaha hahaha hmmmmm. I've started daring the kiddo to race me up the hill behind the house. Over and over and over until he can't stand up. This may be the greatest reason that I am glad I took up running again.

[Kaen S]

Her outfit is astonishingly awesome!