Important Words
It's a weird phenomenon, this blogging thing. While the world of blogging has certainly shrunk in recent years as bloggers have closed up shop, deleted their twitter accounts, or vanished entirely from the landscape, I've been very fortunate that my world has continued to expand. The interactions don't happen in the comments these days, but they still happen. Those interactions lead to actions lead to this crazy thing where my world is a very big one. I know a LOT of people
It's that big world that leads to things like being at a park for a photo shoot with a fantastic family and seeing someone I "know" from Twitter. I had met Kristy in person once before, briefly, but I know her well. It's a weird phenomenon, this blogging and social media thing, because even though I KNOW Kristy, it took me a bit to realize that I was looking at her. Once I figured it out and walked over to say "hi," the conversation was easy because she's a friend.
There was a thing that struck me during our easy conversation. While I dabble in photography, often turning down more requests for my services than I accept, Kristy does it for a living. She's really very good at it. Some photographers who are really very good at it and depend on it for income take issue with people like me who have other full-time jobs and choose to book photography sessions occasionally. I've met some of those photographers and admired their nostrils as they looked down their nose at me, but not Kristy. She's what I like to call "good people."
She has an amazing, kind heart.
And right now, her heart is broken.
I read some words that she wrote on Facebook and asked if I could post them here. They're important words. I think you should read them.
Thanks for giving me permission to post this, Kristy.
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I have tried to find the right words for days now and to be honest, I still don’t have them. The range of emotions since Sunday morning has been overwhelming. I’m angry, heartbroken and a lot of the time, I go numb. Every day since then has been filled with fits of crying and sorrow that nothing can bury. I have tried my best to understand how someone could do something like this. I’ve read article after article, watched every news channel, heard every argument, sat with friends trying to understand and still…nothing makes sense and no explanation helps.
You see, this didn’t happen directly to me but it effects the very core of my being and the core of my community. It has shaken the LGBTQIA+ community so badly that we are all looking over our shoulders a little more than usual, jumping at loud noises, worried that our once seemingly safe surroundings are the ones that will be targeted next.
Like me, everyone else, too, is looking for a reason as to why this happened. We all have come up with our own ideas and opinions, we are all angry, we are all sad and we are all in shock. This is our common bond. Yet somehow that common bond is ripped apart. I have friends who, while well meaning, continue to say all of the wrong things. They are right, everyone else is wrong. This mentality is poison. There are so many misconstrued messages floating around because the facts aren’t being heard or they are being twisted into something unrecognizable. Opinions from biased news sources and the Internet molded into something they believe so wholeheartedly, that they just have to be right. Blinded by anger, they spew fiction. The more this happens, the more you can see the barrier growing between us all.
As someone on the inside looking out, so to speak, I firmly believe this is a societal issue. Children are being taught to hate, they are taught that our kind of love is wrong. They witness leaders standing on stages with cheering crowds saying that we are an abomination and we should be put to death. We are ridiculed, approached in public just so that someone can tell us we are disgusting for loving another human being, all for holding hands, a hug or a simple kiss. We sometimes find life so difficult because of bullying that we kill ourselves, leaving lives shattered behind us. We are refused necessary medical care and regularly paired with doctors who don’t understand what we need or simply don’t want to treat us. We are given the right to marry but we can still be fired from our jobs and evicted from our homes. We are disowned by our families because they are ashamed of us, leading to homelessness, drug addiction and prostitution. We are labeled as “sick” and told we are perverted and child molesters. We are kicked off busses, out of establishments, beaten in the streets, and too often, murdered. We can’t even use a bathroom without the fear of being met with a fist, or worse, a gun. We are second class citizens in our society’s eyes.
I’ve had people say to me that it doesn’t matter that these people were LGBTQ, people are people, it doesn’t make a difference. But it does. It matters because acts of violence against our community often go unreported or homicides are not recorded as hate crimes. If you take a minute to search “LGBT deaths” you will find that for every year, the number of deaths increases. “Record Number of Reported LGBT Homicides in 2011”...in 2012…in 2013…in 2014 and you had better believe that 2016 will be no different from any other year. Recognizing the fact that it was a specific targeted group matters because violence against a particular group of people needs to be brought to light when crimes against them have been invisible for so long. Remembering those that died as gay, lesbian, transgender, bi, straight, however they identified, matters. It’s who they were. If you don’t understand that, you’re missing the point.
So, how do you help the LGBTQIA+ community after something like this? Well, I’ve had very few, in fact, I’ve had two people ask me, “How are you? I’ve been thinking about you.” For those two people, thank you from the bottom of my heart. While you may not have seen my tears, that simple question meant the world to me. It’s important to reach out to us and ask us how we are doing. You may not know what to say and that’s okay, just listen. Remember as well, that we need your support all the time. Be an ally. Stand up for someone being harassed. Don’t use derogatory slang for our identities, it makes you part of the problem. Write your state senator or representative. Volunteer for an LGBTQ organization. Vote Democrat so that the rights that we do have won’t be reversed. Learn our history. Donate blood. Make a donation. Humanize us.
Thursday, June 16, 2016