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Thursday
Jul122018

Life Comes at You Fast

The thing about kids growing up is that you never notice when an Important Thing happens for the last time. For example, I can't remember the last time Mila crawled. She slowly learned to prefer walking and then one day she just didn't crawl anymore, but I didn't notice until several weeks after. I don't know when Alexis stopped saying "betchtubles" or when Mila stopped sleeping on her belly and, man. There's so much I didn't notice as it happened.

I definitely didn't notice when Alexis graduated from choosing Kid Movies to picking Tween/Teen Movies. One week she picked out a Disney cartoon when given a choice, and the next she had graduated to a annoyingly sweet high school romance flick.

THE HELL?

I don't remember giving her permission to be more interested in watching actual humans kissing than animated dogs.

The most recent coming of age movie to make its way into our house was Love, Simon. It was very much so your stereotypical teen flick, with a bit of a modern twist. It wasn't all that different from 10 Things I Hate About You or She's All That or any number of movies. Two people fall in love, somebody has some growing up to do, somebody makes a mistake that hurts someone else, and it all comes together in the end.

Have I mentioned that 10 Things I Hate About You is the greatest movie of all time? Because I should mention that. It's not a debatable topic, frankly, and even Alexis will agree. She has watched that movie at least 10 times by now. Heath Ledger holds up, you guys.

Speaking of Heath Ledger, remember that thing? That thing where the lead guy in those type of movies made you raise your eyebrow? Because HELLO. I mean, Freddie Prinze, Jr. was never really my sort of thing but Chad Michael Murray was a gift. And Heath. Heath will forever hold a special place in my heart.

So Alexis and I were sitting and watching Love, Simon and it occurred to me that she was probably thinking things about the lead character. It doesn't matter what team he plays on in the movie; the cute boy is the cute boy when you're her age.

And then Josh Duhamel came on the screen and suddenly I was thinking things. You know, things like, "Hi, Josh! It's so nice to see you!"

AND THEN ... OMG WTF ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Josh Duhamel plays the dad in the movie. HE IS THE GROWN ASS ADULT FATHER FIGURE. When did that happen? When did the grown ass adult become the one who caught my attention? How is it that I'm of the age where a teen flick's PARENTAL FIGURE is what catches my attention?

I mean ...

I just ...

Ugh.

The parent of a teenager in a teen flick. WTF.

If you'll excuse me, I need to go buy a cane and some Werther's and prepare myself for the first time it's a grandfather that catches my attention. That should happen right around the time Mila discovers teen flicks, I suppose.

::SOB::

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Reader Comments (1)

If the grandfather is Sam Elliott, I'm all in!

July 13, 2018 | Unregistered CommenterBarb
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