Like Taking Candy from a Baby

Mila has a sugar problem. Well, actually, it's more that sugar has a Mila problem because Mila never saw a sugary anything she didn't want to destroy. The girl can eat some junk food, yo. It's ... impressive.

This is probably a good moment to remind us all that Alexis is the WAY opposite. It was very recently that she stopped choosing lima beans over chocolate, you guys. I'm pretty sure she only changed her story because other kids were pointing out how freakish it is to pick lima beans over chocolate. My point is, Alexis is not a junk food girl.

Mila more than makes up for it.

I keep a candy jar on my desk at work for a variety of reasons (mostly because when I want candy, I WANT CANDY)(guess which apple fell from my tree!), which means that I randomly buy bags of candy. With Christmas zooming past us, I had the opportunity to buy several bags of candy on clearance. Instead of taking them all to work immediately, I stuck them in the pantry.

You know, the room Mila thinks is a jungle gym.

Of course Mila found a way to climb up to the bags of candy. I could glue one of my eyeballs to her little bum and there would still be moments in the day when I wasn't managing to keep an eye on her. She's an imp, to say the least.

Anyway, Mila found the candy, tore into the bag, and was happily sneaking pieces left and right until I busted her and made her stash go away. Fast forward a few days and she re-found the stash, or so I assume. Instead of being terribly obvious about her junk consumption, Mila decided to take her little operation underground.

She stashed a single piece of candy in each and every bag and pocket she has. There was candy in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles bag she carries around like a purse. Every one of her coats had a piece in the pocket. There was a piece in her diaper bag.

Everywhere.

Single pieces stashed.

At first I admired her ambition. She had managed to leave herself all of the opportunities to quietly eat candy without me catching her. As a bonus, she did it without saying a word about it. Considering the kid would live tweet her every move if she had access to twitter, it was impressive.

But then she screwed up.

This morning on our way to the car, Mila was quick to unzip her jacket. She was wearing a sweatshirt under it, which I know because she started trying to reach her pocket. After a bit of struggling, she turned to me and asked for help. "Can you get my candy, please?"

She knew as soon as the words left her mouth. She took off running while clutching her pocket and then started crying when I caught her before she could run into the street. Because I was impressed with her use of manners, I screwed with her and simply zipped up her jacket without acknowledging that I knew what she was hiding.

A few minutes later, we arrived at school. In the hustle of the moment, I managed to play pickpocket. Silently. As in, Mila had no clue that I stole her candy out of her pocket.

I sure am glad I wasn't at daycare when Mila figured out that I'm a thief.

Comments

[Mary]

Wow, Ninja skills. I am very impressed.