« Up and Down and Up and Down, but at Least It's All Petty Stuff | Main | This is Probably How Bernie Madoff Started »

Make Room for Crazy

Every day, someone throws common sense to the wind and declares that This! Is! The! Year! This year the Pirates won't suck so bad! This year the Pirates will play .500 ball! This year the Pirates will make the playoffs! This year the Pirates will win the World Series!

I had a really hard time typing those sentences. I was laughing way too hard. I mean, this optimism, it has to be a joke, right? RIGHT?

Apparently, Ginny (my blogging hero from That's Church) isn't joking when she says that she really believes that this is the year. She has grabbed hold of the reins on that bandwagon and is riding that sucker around in circles, hooting and hollering and gathering up free bobbleheads. I offered her a lighter and some gas so she could set the whole thing on fire, but she declined.

A quick look at some Pittsburgh tweets shows that she's not alone. There are actually other people riding around on that broken down jalopy of a bandwagon. But, I'm also not alone in my thinking that NO WAY are the Pirates going to turn it around this year. I firmly believe the team ownership has found a way to keep the cash rolling in, and it's for them to spend money on t-shirts and bobbleheads. They don't need to win, they just need to hand out free stuff as a bunch of giant pierogies race around town. Sure, eventually they'll manage to stumble their way to a winning season, but it ain't happening this year.

I'm willing to put money on it. The Pirates will not have a winning season this year. Period.

Are you willing to put money on it? Do you think this is the year? (If so, you're nuts. ;-) ) Or, are you with me in thinking that optimistic napkin holders are just a ruse designed to distract us from the fact that they still have crap pitching?

Here's the deal: Ginny and I have joined forces and are asking you to put your money where your mouth is. All it takes is $5. Declare your loyalty, donate $5, and in the end, the kids will be winners, no matter what the Succos do. There might even be a little something-something in it for you. The details:

  • Voice your opinion by clicking on the appropriate button below. You'll be taken to a PayPal page where you can donate $5. Feel free to declare your loyalty over and over and make as many donations as you want, but don't let us catch you changing sides. WE WILL KNOW.
  • If the Succos continue to suck this year, 75% of what is donated will go to Christmas Crazy for Kids. If This is the Year! the Pirates turn it around, then that 75% goes to Make Room for Kids. That is to say, 75% will go to the "winning" charity and the other charity will get 25%. There are no losers in this little game. (Unless you count the Pirates. Ahem.)
  • If you correctly predict the Pirates season outcome, you will be eligible to win prizes such as gift cards and some other fun stuff which will be announced later. The winner will be selected in a random drawing from all donations made on the "winning" side, so make sure your your email address is correct on the PayPal screen.


This! Is! NOT! The! Year!
* Insanely cool artwork by the über-talented and very hawt Rachel Sager.

PrintView Printer Friendly Version

Reader Comments (21)

As a lifelong Cubs fan, I can appreciate the humor you find in your fellow fans' optimism.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJill

does winning year mean one game over 500?

@hello haha narf--Yes. Not that it will matter, though. It won't happen. ;-)

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhello haha narf

I'm a steadfast Indians fan. We'll get our winning season and go to the playoffs long, long before the Succos do.

There. I've said it.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterhp

bwahahaha! No way it's happening this year for the Pirates. Poor Ginny.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

I'm leaving this same comment here and at Ginny's blog:

This little contest of yours is, of course, tearing at the affections of those of us who love both of you. But root against my home team? The team my idol, Roberto Clemente, played for? Just can't do it. I'm following my heart, not my head. (After all, that's what usually gets me in trouble anyway.) Save me a seat on the Bucco bandwagon.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJMWander

I left a longer comment at Ginny's blog, but the upshot is: What if one doesn't care a whit for baseball and the Pirates? Does that default me to "not the year?" if so, I guess you'll get my $5. :)

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterred pen mama

Just joined your side. Can't believe this is my first time here. Looks great. I hope Ginny shows her little bandwagoneers a good time before she sets it roaringly ablaze like EVERY YEAR.


March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBram R

I thought this was going to be a tough choice. How can I pick between the two?? But seeing what this little game actually is?? No competition. Team Burgh Baby...Do we get t-shirts??

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLisa J.

Oh dear. What's worse? Ginny and her pigeon attack or BurghBaby training the Bully to attack me for real this time? And there's the whole Yinz Softball issue, like Spoon said. That's a whole extra personal safety issue there.

I'm scared. But I don't really care about baseball, and I don't like the Nuttings.

So, No This is NOT the Year.

Excuse me, while I now go hide from the impending pigeon attack in a closet.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterpghrugbyangel

Sorry to Ginny but this is totally not a hard decision to make. In all of my years as a Burgher I have never seen them do anything but suck...Im on your side!

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermindymin

We have been watching AAA ball at big league prices for a long time.
I keep thinking, the Pirates should just be a farm team and cut their prices in half.
But, no matter how terrible, all sorts of really good teams will visit us and you will be able to watch baseball and the stars (including who knows how many former Pirates).
As much as it pains me, support your team. Filling the stands, ala the BSox or Cubs will get you a winner sooner than not showing up.....
And as long as we're losing, let's go out and kill pigeons after the game.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterdB

Totally on the "It's not the year" bandwagon. That doesn't mean that I won't be hoping the Bucs have a good season, but I just don't believe that it's gonna happen this year.

March 8, 2010 | Unregistered Commentertehamy

You've got my vote! (Sorry, Ginny.)


March 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterrasager

BTW, I flipped a coin, and it came up heads 3 out of 5 times. I gotta donate to the bandwagon. Which doesn't necessarily mean I'm on it, but I was incapable of making a decision based on the fact that I'm not emotionally invested. ;) I know, I know, heresy.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterred pen mama

Posted this at That's Church, too:

I loved the Pirates as a kid. I loved baseball as a kid. I loved going to Three Rivers Stadium and eating peanuts in the shell while watching the Pirates play baseball as a kid.

Now? I wish I had $10,000 to donate to the NO, THIS IS *NOT* THE YEAR fund.

The Pirates aren’t even worth enough of my attention anymore to keep track of if they are doing well or not. I already know ahead of time that they won’t be doing well by the end of the season. Now, when others mention the Pirates, I just respond with, “The who? We don’t have a baseball team.”

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterDave

Love the graphics Rachel! Very cute! How is it going with your new dog? I saw a picture and he is so cute!

There is no way the Pirates are winning!

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJen

On your team, all the way. I've watched the Pirates break my dad's heart for years and years. And sadly, I believe there is no end in sight for his pain.

March 9, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMermanda

This is not the year. Next year is not the year. In fact, let's just go ahead and say any year the team isn't owned by someone named Cuban or Lemieux is not the year.

Go Tribe (WOOOOO, HP!).

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterUncle Crappy

I feel rather bad for all of those kids on the bandwagon. What was it that Einstein said about insanity?

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Oh, except, um, it's the CUBS year to win!!! LOL

March 10, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterbeth in sf

This was a great idea, ladies!

I love the Pirates, but only because I have to. For the sake of pride for Pittsburgh fans everywhere, I'd love to see the Bucs prove me wrong. Of course, I've been waiting on that for a long time, so I'm not holding my breath.

March 11, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterNo Princesses Here
Comments for this entry have been disabled. Additional comments may not be added to this entry at this time.