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Sunday
Apr242011

Sloppiest Bunny Ever

I like to think Alexis is a pretty smart cookie. She can write her full name, her address, and her phone number. She reads entire books all by her lonesome self. She outwits me at every turn. But, I do believe Easter has proven she's not all that bright after all.

I have always been pretty sloppy with the whole Easter Bunny thing. Frankly, I don't care if the kid knows that the Easter bunny generally answers to the name "Michelle" and spends most days obsessing over Nutella, sporks, and camera equipment. Mr. Husband was the one who set the Easter Bunny up as a Thing and I've just gone along for the ride. I've been sticking my head out the window and leaving a slobbery trail of hints all along that ride, but Alexis doesn't seem to see that which is right in front of her face.

Exhibit A: Alexis was with me when I bought all of the candy this year. I claimed we were getting candy for her to take to school and for a basket for Mr. Husband, but how she hasn't noticed that it was the exact candy that ended up in her eggs and her basket, I have no clue.

Exhibit B: I sure do seem to know all the places that damn bunny hid the eggs. It's almost creepy how I can walk in a room and quickly walk straight to every single one. It's as if I put them there!

Exhibit C: We were all at the store together when I picked up her "major" Easter basket item--a DVD. She went with Mr. Husband while I quickly grabbed it from the back of the store and checked out separately. First the cashier basically waved the DVD in front of her face when she and Mr. Husband managed to walk past me at the exact wrong moment. Then she saw me carrying the bag out to the car. Then I put it in the trunk, despite the fact that I *never* put anything in the trunk of the car we had that day. It should have all be very suspicious.

Exhibit D: Because of the super sucky weather, I didn't get around to hiding anything outside until this morning. The number of pointless tasks I gave her so she would be busy long enough for me to run around the yard was astronomical. I mean, I dumped her Barbies out of a box and then made her put them away. It wasn't just cruel, it was ridiculously obvious that I was creating busy work.

Exhibit E: She saw her Easter basket in the laundry room WAY before she was supposed to see it. She full-out admitted that she had seen it when she started begging to go get it. Instead of just formally revealing it, I did the "Hey, look! Something shiny!" routine and moved it before she could look back. When the basket that SHE HAD SEEN appeared in the back yard, she should have known shenanigans were afoot.

Exhibit F: Two of the things that were in her Easter basket happened to be things that have been around the house for years. They were leftover prizes from her birthday party. They REALLY should have seemed familiar.

Instead of catching on to the Easter Bunny's shenanigans, the kid added to his mystique. She gave him credit for leaving footprints in the guest bedroom (it was circles of crushed carpet where the bed used to be--it's moved out right now while I paint in there). She blamed the jelly bean pooping monster for messing with the TV remote when I couldn't find it. She found an alleged tuft of fur in the desk and proclaimed it the Easter Bunny's. It's almost as if she WANTS to believe in all things Easter Bunny, so she makes things up to make him more real.

She's so totally not the smartest carrot in the bunch these days.

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Reader Comments (11)

Oooorr...just maybe...she's messing with YOU..because she can. lol.
I thought the same thing today. I (MAY HAVE) made a 6AM trek to Walmart because we had already packed ALL the decorations to move and there was not an Easter Basket to be found (daddy packed those boxes and couldn't locate them) and the 7 year old MAY HAVE woken up as I was putting everything out this morning and yet, mystically she'd didn't question what I was doing, or why Cate's eggs were filled with the same puffies and yogurt melts she's been eating all week. She heard me placing all the jelly bean filled eggs on the stairs, yet totally believed my "your stupid cat knocked all the eggs down the stairs and I had to put them back up this morning" even though she's already peeked down the stairs and there were no eggs in sight, lol.
Who knows, maybe they think they're making us feel better by not saying anything! Ha, good luck!

April 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Or she is smarter than you think and has realized that if she calls shenanigans then the Easter Bunny *wink wink* *nudge nudge* might stop bringing her candy and movies and hiding eggs for a fun game all over the house/yard.

April 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle Smiles

I do believe this post was written a bit "tongue-in-cheek", yes? ;) Your darling daughter has already caught on to "they who believe, receive" :D

April 24, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCrista

I hope to hell she's not playing me because that would mean she has learned to lie without making her "I'm totally lying" face. That would be BAD.

I always felt like I had to keep the Easter Bunny thing going because if she caught on to that then she'd surely catch on to Santa too. And I wasn't willing to give that one up until I absolutely had to.

April 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

My kid hasn't caught on. Yet. Regardless of the fact that I, too, was aware of each hiding place for the eggs; that the eggs contained candy that had, just the day before, been sitting on the kitchen table. She was overjoyed to see the trail of eggs down the stairs to begin the hunt and didn't blink an eyelash when I was able to find her Easter basket in .3 seconds.

Easter is almost as much work as fricken Christmas. That damn bunny is tiiiiiiired.,

;)

April 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKellie

I'm thinking she just knows it's more fun to believe. Did you get the ball things at Target? If so, Dylan also had those in his basket and LOVED them!

April 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

She's just a normal five year old girl. Children believe fiercely in magic. Don't take it away from her before she's ready. :)

April 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFlea

She may just be playing you for more Easter loot. Or... she only sees what she wants to see.

April 25, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTara R

But how sweet that she WANTS to believe!

April 25, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkyfirewife

Pffft. I love when my kids do stuff like that. If they can willingly overlook ALL of that evidence, how many of my flaws are they purposely overlooking? Win!

April 26, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie in MA
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